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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25003348">The truth in a lie</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thequeenofwords/pseuds/Thequeenofwords'>Thequeenofwords</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gotham (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom Oswald Cobblepot, Bounty Hunter Jim Gordon, Boys Kissing, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, Eventual Smut, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hand Jobs, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mayor Oswald Cobblepot, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Jim Gordon, Past Jim Gordon/Leslie Thompkins, Protective Jim Gordon, Rough Kissing, Season/Series 03, Serial Killers, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Trust Issues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:41:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>49,928</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25003348</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thequeenofwords/pseuds/Thequeenofwords</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Technically, Jim didn't have to agree to working with Oswald on this case, but what choice did he really have? There was a dangerous killer on the loose and although Jim no longer worked for the GCPD he couldn't possibly turn his back on this. if pretendending to be Cobblepot's boyfriend was the only way to catch the guy then that's what he was going to do. Still, the whole idea made him feel uneasy. Lowering his defenses around Oswald was never a good idea, and yet, here he was, doing just that...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oswald Cobblepot/Jim Gordon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>148</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A killer on the loose</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a canon divergence that starts at the beginning of the third season when Oswald is city’s mayor and Jim is a bounty hunter. I really loved the show, but at times I wished they would just slow down with all that action and just show Jim investigating some random cases. I would love to watch at least one episode like that. When nothing remotely important for the plot happens, but there is a serial killer they need to catch or something. That’s why this fic happened. It’s Jim working some random serial killer case alongside Oswald, because I can’t help but love them together. Anyway, I hope you like it! English is not my first language, but I tried my best :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Normally he would have been the one to arrive at the scene. With Harvey by his side. With every right to be there. To look for clues. To assess the damage made to the bodies. First one to ask Nygma what it is that he’s got for them. He would have never thought that at one point in his life he won’t be the one to investigate the crime scene. That instead he will be the one that police call after a very long time as their last resort at catching the killer. Now Jim Gordon was no longer a Detective Jim Gordon. Just Bounty hunter Jim Gordon. And to say that his acting captain did not like that transition was an understatement. That’s why on this morning when the phone called Jim could easily guess that either Harvey had to do some hard convincing to make Barnes contact him off all people or they really had no other option but to use him as bait. Jim agreed to come down to the precinct and then got up from his bed. He didn’t have anything else to do today anyway. Might as well help, Jim thought to himself while dressing up, ignoring that little nagging voice in his head that told him that perhaps he should just drop the act and go back to being a detective. He couldn’t do that. Not after all that happened. He didn’t deserve Lee and he didn’t deserve the badge either. How could he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After all, not only did he help Penguin kidnap Galavan but also put a bullet in the guy’s head instead of bringing him to justice. That is not something a good detective does. He swore to protect the United States from people such as Oswald Cobblepot. He should have brought Penguin to justice as well a long time ago, but instead he ended up murdering someone with the guy. To make the matters worse he also worked against Barnes not so long ago and gave Fish Mooney to Oswald. But did it even matter anymore? It was just another deal. Just another string connecting him to someone who once owned the city as a King of Gotham and now owned it as a mayor. Funnily enough there was a time when he thought that Oswald Cobblepot was a living proof that Jim Gordon will never let anyone corrupt him. That he won’t ever confirm to the city’s rules. That Jim Gordon is different from all these corrupt cops in the city. But now every time he looked at Penguin Jim was reminded of his failure. He failed at cleaning the city from criminals. Failed at cleaning the GCPD. Somewhere along the way he did confirm to the city’s standards. Lee was right: he did change. He was no longer the city’s greatest hero. Even though the only criminal he’s ever sided with, except for that one time when he wanted Falcone to take the power back, was Oswald Cobblepot. Even though he tried over and over to put distance between them. Even though he was such a jerk to him he sometimes wondered where the line was. How much of an asshole Jim can be to him before Oswald finally snaps and slits his throat? But he never did. And Jim always found himself going back to him or bumping into him in the least expected moment. It was unnerving and annoying to him when he was a detective, but he told himself that now he didn’t deserve that badge either way. So what if he makes another deal with the devil himself? There is no redemption for him anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim shook his head, focusing on choosing the outfit for today. He had to get out of his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of a white button-down shirt he would usually wear for work he opted for a black tank top and a leather jacket that gave him more of that tough guy look that turned out to be very useful in his bounty hunter life. It took him approximately thirty minutes to get to GCPD and just half of that time to realize that coming in on that day was a huge mistake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right after he’s got there Harvey came running to him hurriedly. He was twisting his face in a half smile even though he was clearly disturbed by something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jim!” Gordon instantly looked to his right and focused on Harvey instead of Barnes office.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Harvey!” Jim smiled instantly. Seeing Harvey made him realize how much he actually missed the guy. With Harvey swamped at work and Jim running around the city hunting bad guys they rarely went out anymore and if there was something Jim missed from the precinct it was Harvey’s sense of humor. He would, of course, never admit that to anyone but himself. “How are you holding up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me? Good. You? Should get the hell outta here right now, ‘cause let me tell you: you’re not gonna like what’s coming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey put his hand around Jim’s shoulder and started leading him towards the exit. Jim stopped him though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, come on, Harv. I’ve already been undercover quite a few times. And what is that anyway, you don’t believe I can do it or what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim kept smiling at his ex-partner while he turned them both around and started walking towards Barnes’ office.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not about you not being able to do it. It’s about you not really wanting to do it, because it’s crazy. This whole idea can’t and won’t work. Barnes is just desperate, obviously, since...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Jim didn’t listen to him. Instead he got up the stairs and then stopped immediately looking through the glass doors of Barnes’ office.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s Penguin doing here?!” And there it was. That edge in Jim’s voice that would appear every time they were talking about or seeing Penguin. At first, back when Harvey didn’t know that Jim hadn’t shot the guy at the pier, he just thought that Gordon hated this reminder of his darker self. Then, after Cobblepot revealed to them that he was in fact far from dead, Harvey thought that Jim was just angry at the guy for coming back. For making things even more complicated for him. But no, the time has passed and Jim’s emotional response to Penguin didn’t go away. In fact, Bullock thought that Jim himself wouldn’t be able to tell why he was constantly so angry at that little freak. Don’t get him wrong, Harvey hated that little punk as well, but the twisted relationship that Penguin and Jim formed could come in handy just as Harvey’s relationship with Fish did quite a few times when she was the one in power. For this reason, Harvey thought Jim should play nice with Penguin, at least so that the guy actually helped them when they needed it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s here for the same reason you...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim didn’t let Harvey finish. Instead he let go of the man and rushed inside, leaving Harvey no other option but to follow him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“’Kay. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.”, Harvey murmured under his breath and went inside to watch a shit show that was probably going to begin in just a few seconds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanted to see me, sir?” Jim asked, straightening his posture a little and not even sparing the Penguin one glance. The little guy was not going to let that slide though. Before Barnes could answer Jim Penguin chipped in:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, James, old friend, pleasure to see you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim pursed his lips together, but looked over at Oswald, who’s face lighted up with a smile. A little blush colored Cobblepot’s cheeks when Gordon sent a thigh, forced smile his way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>„Oswald,” he offered in a form of greeting and was already turning his face away from Penguin when the mayor spoke again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>„How are you these days, my friend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey could swear that if Cobblepot calls him ‘a friend’ in front of Barnes one more time Jim will finally snap and shoot him right in that smooth face of his. Jim’s lip trembled a little at the mayor's words, but other than that he managed not to show any emotions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>„I’m fine, Oswald,” He spitted out his name through gritted teeth, a new found tension evident in his smile. He sent Penguin a warning look, but Cobblepot’s smile never even wavered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim swiftly turned his attention to Barnes, who was watching the whole exchange with the crease between his eyebrows, and Harvey had to hold back a chuckle. Barnes has never seen the two interact with each other before and Harvey could only imagine how insane the idea of the two of them working undercover together seemed to him before Jim walked into that office. James was his golden boy and before that whole fiasco with Nygma he probably would have never even imagined Jim having any sort of acquaintance with a notorious criminal like this. After they cleared Jim’s name of the accusations it was evident that Barnes’ faith in his little soldier was restored again. This is why he was so angry with him for not coming back to GCPD. Now, however, Jim unknowingly confirmed that he was more than familiar with Cobblepot. Even though he was putting a great effort into making it seem that he is not he himself jeopardized it by calling Penguin by his first name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nobody at the precinct would ever do that and Barnes knew that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, right” Barnes was probably still trying to assess just how closely Jim knows Penguin. When the punk had told him before that the only way in which this is going to work out is if he works with Jim Gordon, Barnes choked on his coffee. It took Jim approximately a few seconds to make him wonder if the mayor’s request was not in fact as crazy as he thought Harvey could tell by the grimace on Captain’s face. “I called you here today, because I need mayor’s assistance with the case and he refused to work with any of my officers. I was reluctant to put you on this case, but as mayor has put it, because of the specific nature of this case it would make more sense for him to go undercover with someone who has…” Barnes hesitated. His eyes left Gordon’s and focused on Cobblepot’s for a short moment. A grimace appeared on his face and when he finally finished the sentence it was evident that he is not using his own words, but Penguin’s. “history with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have history.” That positively smashed that silly smile off Penguin’s face even though everyone in that room except Barnes knew that Jim has just lied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t?” Barnes sounded hopeful and Harvey couldn’t help but snicker, enjoying this a little too much for his own good. “You have something to say on that matter, Bullock?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no, no, Captain. Just something stuck in my throat.” Harvey raised his hands and Jim turned around to give him a hateful look. “You know what? I’ve just remembered Alvarez wanted my intel on some case, so…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let himself out, leaving Jim with Barnes and Cobblepot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So where were we? Gordon, I really need you to be honest here, alright? It is really important for me to close that case I was just telling you about, however, this will require you to work with mayor Cobblepot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim glanced at Oswald. The expression on Penguin’s face wasn’t a happy one anymore. Jim probably ruined his good mood when he started denying their acquaintance. He couldn’t help himself though. With Essen it was easy to be honest. She didn’t judge him, because she knew how things were in Gotham. But Barnes? Barnes would never understand that Jim had to take certain measures in order to be able to work in GCPD, in order to make a change that Barnes also wanted to make. When Gordon arrived in Gotham he was the same: he thought that law stood above everything else, that there was only white or black and that there was no validation to working with a criminal, to be acquainted with one, exchange favors with them or even worse, commit a crime with them… Gordon learned the hard way that to survive in this city, to be able to fight for what you believe in, sometimes you have to do something you’re not proud of. Lee thought it was something he’s just told himself to justify his actions and perhaps she was right, but if Jim was totally honest with himself, he didn’t think there was another way around it. Still, these favors, the thing’s he has done, destroyed his life. Put him in jail after all. Put him away from the woman he loved. Made him undeserving of the badge he was carrying for so many years. Made him question his own character, his values and ideas. The world turned out to not be black and white and Jim still struggled with this fact. He still didn’t know how he fit in this grey world and what this strange relationship with Cobblepot has made him into. So how could he admit this to Barnes? How could he look him in the eye and say that their acquaintance goes way back? That it’s complicated and hard to explain, that it is so strange that he rarely even admits it to himself, but for some reason he does not treat Cobblepot like the rest of the criminals he encounters? That his first response to whatever Oswald proposes or wants from him is always ‘no’, but somehow he ends up doing it anyway? How could he explain to Barnes that even though he would claim loudly that Oswald Cobblepot is a liar, a psychopath, criminal and manipulator, Jim still would go to him for help? Of course, he wouldn’t be happy, he would be angry at himself and at Cobblepot and he would be harsh on the guy, because Oswald made his life difficult and because Jim hates talking to him, because it makes him feel uneasy. He would bitch about it to Harvey, argue with him that they do not need Penguin’s help, but somehow he would always end up at his door, waiting to be let in. Jim didn’t like the thought of it. Didn’t really let himself think about it too much. He preferred pretending that Oswald Cobblepot didn’t exist, that he’s never brought Oswald to that pier, never let Penguin live or that Cobblepot has never returned to the city after that. And most of the time it worked. Until it didn’t and that’s when Jim would get angry. It was complicated and Jim didn’t know what to think about it anymore, so he didn’t. Just like he pretended not to think about Lee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What exactly needs to be done?” Jim asked finally, not answering any of the questions asked by Barnes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re after a serial killer, who’s been active for the past nine years. He was never dealt with before, his case closed right after it opened and I think that’s because he has some powerful friends. Connections that got him out of this many times before. At least, that’s how it looks. He was only ever killing corrupted politics and other powerful people that had some dirt on them, so apparently it didn’t bother no one in the GCPD. Mayor Cobblepot brought this case to me after the murderer struck again.” That surprised Jim, who still remembered how Oswald discredited GCPD in front of all those journalists. How he used “GCPD’s incompetence” in his campaign. And now he wants to work with them? Help them catch the killer?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With all due respect, sir, but I thought that mayor Cobblepot finds GCPD rather incompetent? What makes him want to work with us all of a sudden?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim purposely directed his question at Barnes and not at Oswald, however it was the latter that answered him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, James, but I don’t,” Jim couldn’t help looking over at Oswald with creased eyebrows. Cobblepot smiled at him sweetly. “want to work with GCPD, I mean. From what I recall you are not GCPD detective anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why you didn’t just come to me with this? What exactly do you want from GCPD?” Gordon turned around to face him and even moved in his direction, getting into his personal space, forgetting for a second that Barnes was still watching them intently. Now his focus lied solemnly on Oswald and if the other’s smile was anything to go by this turn of events was the one he wished for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s pretty simple really. You see, my friend, now that I’m a mayor I need the GCPD to actually do its job. So we are going to catch this killer and put him behind bars and GCPD is going to take credit for that while I’m going to get praised for not only working with them, but also improving their performance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And me? What do you need me for, Cobblepot?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald didn’t answer right away and for a moment Jim saw something flash in his eyes and even though he had no idea what it was, it told him the only thing he needed to know: Oswald, obviously, was hiding some ulterior motive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe Captain Barnes was going to tell you that before you, so unkindly, excluded him from this conversation.” Now Oswald turned away from him wordlessly and Jim gritted his teeth yet again before facing captain Barnes as well. He didn’t move away before doing so and now they were standing so close to each other that their shoulders brushed. With the corner of his eye Gordon saw Oswald eyeing him expectantly, so he did not move. If Oswald didn’t like the proximity he could move away himself, Jim thought and even though he realized how childish it was of him, he still stayed in place. So did Cobblepot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Barnes cleared his throat, visibly uncomfortable and if Harvey didn’t leave the room before, he would definitely do it now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our killer targets people, who are in some way dirty. Whether their criminal activity concerns corruption, murder, child pornography or even adultery seems irrelevant to our killer. Our EM deduced from the pictures of the crime scenes and reports from them that the killer is punishing these people for their activities. He doesn’t just put a bullet in their heads either. Their bodies are usually violated in any possible way and posed, if one may call it that, in a manner that relates to the crimes they’ve committed. The killer almost always kills the spouse or a partner of the person targeted. Usually it’s because they knew about their incriminating activities and did nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Usually?” Jim asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, there was that one time when the spouse was clean, but she walked in on her husband being murdered and tried saving him. Apparently she hit the murderer with the vase, but the impact was too weak to knock him up. From what it looked like he was sorry for killing her in the end. Her body was the only one that was put gently on a bed and with some flowers next to her as if he was saying sorry. He probably thinks he’s some kind of a hero. Cleaning Gotham. We cannot allow another criminal to run around thinking he’s giving people justice.” With this sentence he gave Oswald a pointed look and Jim smirked seeing Oswald make a face. However, the smirk was gone in the next few seconds when Barnes started talking about his involvement in catching this killer. “We believe that over the years he started picking his victims at prestigious parties organized only for the members of high society. Since these gatherings are highly exclusive and usually kept secret from the public, people attending them are not willing to talk or even allow anyone from the outside to join in on the activities. We think that the best approach is to lure him out. Go after someone that we will have our eyes on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I’m guessing that you want our new mayor to pose as a bait?” Jim inquired and Barnes nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but I’m not going to send a civilian to bait a murderer and just watch what happens from a distance. That’s why we need your help, Jim.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want me to do? I’m not exactly from high society, I can’t go to that party…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but you don’t have to be. Not if you come with someone who is. Mayor Cobblepot doesn’t exactly fit in the profile, because he doesn’t have a partner or a spouse.” Jim’s face paled. No, Barnes couldn’t possibly mean…. “We need someone on the inside. Someone that I can trust, Jim. And since nobody would believe that mayor Cobblepot’s partner is working on GCPD you are our best bet. As a bounty hunter and someone who apparently has history with our new mayor you can very quickly convince the public that you and mayor Cobblepot are an item now…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir, with all due respect…” Jim tried telling Barnes how this would never work, but Barnes didn’t let him finish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would also make you fit the profile since you were a cop, someone who is supposed to have principals, who is supposed to take down criminals…” Barnes cut himself off and for a second there Jim thought that he wasn’t going to add anything else, but then he went ahead and made it even worse. “not date them.” If Oswald’s huge intake of breath was anything to go by Barnes was lucky that he was at the precinct, surrounded by cops. If that wasn’t the case Cobblepot would probably murder him at the spot for openly calling him a criminal. Barnes continued, seemingly unbothered by their angry, defensive glances. “The way I see it, mayor Cobblepot is known for his past connotations with the mob and you are known as a good cop, who had his reputation ruined by some criminal. But perhaps you’re not a saint, huh? If we can make the public believe that during all these years you were covering up for Mr. Cobblepot, that in fact, you are corrupted, then I’m pretty sure he won’t be able to resist this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim felt physically sick. He couldn’t even look at Oswald. It was as if his worst nightmare was coming true. Not only did Barnes suggest that Jim was corrupted, but he also wanted to make the whole town believe it. And what was even worse was that he wanted them to believe that he and Cobblepot were something more. He could barely stand the thought of anyone assuming they were friends, let alone a freaking couple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That… That is not going to work, sir!” He opposed when he finally shook himself out of the initial shock. “Who would even believe such a thing?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Jim, you can’t be serious! People will believe anything. I mean, they did believe that you, Gotham’s golden boy, killed someone, didn’t they?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald had a point. It didn’t change the fact that the whole thing made Jim nauseous. He couldn’t possibly pretend to be in a relationship with him. Wouldn’t be able to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, let me get this clear. You want me to pretend to be in a relationship w-with… “Jim stuttered and gritted his teeth when it made Cobblepot look at him with a snarky smile, “Penguin. To make it public. So that the murderer knows that we’re an item, and then what exactly?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then you go to that secret exclusive party that nobody wants to talk about and you do whatever it takes to make him go after you, or at least you make sure to find him in there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do we even know how he looks like or how he lures his victims in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The wife of the last victim was killed in their home. We questioned neighbors and got lucky. One of them remembered a guy that was leaving their residence with a trash bag the day she was murdered. When the neighbor questioned him, he answered that he’s their new pool boy and that Mrs. Simonson asked him to take out the trash on his way out. We had the neighbor come down here and meet with our sketch artist. I believe this is how he looks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Barnes handled Jim the files and when he opened them he was met with the picture of what could be their killer. He was a caucasian male, had short, blond hair that fell on his forehead, almost reaching his big blue eyes. Full lips. Strongly defined jaw. Nice cheekbones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have pictures of crime scenes and victims in there as well, but I wouldn’t go through them if you had a big breakfast this morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt Oswald lining into him even more to look at the pictures from his shoulder and he felt himself tensing up at their closeness. Yet again he asked himself how he was supposed to pretend he was in a relationship with the man when he clearly couldn’t even stand being close to him. Then he looked at the pictures and his stomach turned. This killer, whoever he was, had to be truly ruthless for doing what he did to these people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are half of the victims missing their eyes and ears?” Jim asked, commenting on the least gruesome detail of them all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“These are the spouses who knew, saw and heard what their other halves were up to, but did nothing to stop them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim wanted to say ‘no’ to this. He really did, but he already knew that he wouldn’t be able to do that. The cop inside him wanted his guy behind bars, awaiting death sentence. He couldn’t have someone like that strolling through the streets of Gotham and massacring people. Yes, they were all criminals or related to criminals, but nobody gave this person the right to pass judgment on them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When is that party?” Jim asked, resigned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In two weeks’ time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim sighted looking over at Cobblepot. He wasn’t smiling anymore, focused on the pictures in the files that Jim was holding. When he felt Jim’s eyes on him Oswald raised his own from the documents and looked him straight in the eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No public displays of affection” he told him dead serious and Cobblepot wrinkled his brows for a short moment before realizing that this was Jim’s way of letting him know that he agrees to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But of course, Jim. I wouldn’t do anything that would make you uncomfortable, old friend” Oswald smiled at him in the same way he did that when he came to the precinct to invite him to his party. This smile always gave Jim goosebumps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m serious. You try anything funny Cobblepot I swear to God I will shoot you in the face.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have nothing to worry about, James.  There is really no need for us to make out in public. People will believe it anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? And how exactly do you want to make that happen, huh? You have some sort of a plan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yes, I do, but you have to promise to play nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald snorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you are, but this…” he made a vague gesture between them, relating to their ‘relationship’ “means you cannot shove me into walls and shout at me whenever you feel like it or spit out words as if talking to me was some kind of punishment. You’re sure you can manage that, old friend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim didn’t let Oswald take a raise of him. It wasn’t like Cobblepot was wrong either. Jim wasn’t exactly nice to him in the past, but this was for the case. It was different. Important. And if he was going to do this, even if he didn’t like it, he would do all it takes to lure the killer out. Jim, after all, took his job very seriously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If that’s what it takes for us to catch this psycho then I think I can stand two weeks of playing house with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re sure…” Oswald answered, not breaking eye contact. It’s been awhile since their last starring match, but the time didn’t make it any weirder than it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure.” He caught him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s settled then.” It was Barnes who interrupted their starring match. “You have two weeks to make the public believe it. I don’t care how you do it as long as it works. You will have backup with you at the party. Until then I hope there will be no problems. Don’t make me regret enlisting you both on this job. Got it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim moved away from Oswald then and locked eyes with Barnes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dismissed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim nodded and retreated from Barnes’ office followed by Oswald Cobblepot, his soon-to-be-boyfriend.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. First date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jim goes on his first fake date with Oswald and finds himself enjoying gangster's company a little bit too much for his own good.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, everyone!<br/>As promised here is the second chapter of my story :) </p><p>It's probably not perfect - grammatically speaking. I tried to edit it myself, but you know how it is - editing your own work is not too effective. That's why I'm looking for someone who would like to help me out and become my editor. If any of you would like to do it, please, let me know! I'll be very grateful! </p><p>Having said that, I hope it's not so terrible. Please, let me know how you like it!</p><p> </p><p>EDIT: I'm sorry for the delay but the third chapter will be published tomorrow due to the fact that I obtained my master's degree today. It's been a crazy day for me and I didn't have the time to edit the chapter, so I'll publish it tomorrow.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After they left the precinct Jim wanted to disappear as soon as possible, but Oswald had different plans. The smaller man called after him a few times. After the fourth time Gordon realized that the gangster was not going to give up. Jim sighted heavily, but stopped and turned around to face Cobblepot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want, Oswald?” Jim hissed at the other man, earning himself a sly grin from Penguin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other man didn’t stop when Jim did. Instead he kept walking until he found himself in Jim’s personal space. He was so close that Gordon wouldn’t even have to reach out for him. He would only have to raise his hands if he wanted to grab him by his lapels and shove against the nearest wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Jim, how do you want people to believe that we’re sleeping with each other, if you’re running from me the first chance you get?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Just tell me what do you want, Oswald,” Gordon sneered and that positively annoyed the other man, if him rolling his eyes was anything to go by.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pick me up at my manor tomorrow at 7. Wear something nice. It’s a date, James.” Jim smiled through gritted teeth and of course, Oswald noticed that. “And you’d have to drop that attitude. Imagine that I’m someone else, if you must, but behave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will, it’s for the case after all, isn’t it? ‘s that all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. See you tomorrow, old friend” With that Oswald finally moved out of his personal space, nodded at Gabe, who followed him to the car and thus left Jim alone in front of the police station.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day Jim was ready at 6PM. Not because he was dying to meet Oswald, of course, but because he felt as if he was going to go mad if he didn’t find anything to do. So he’d spent most of his morning picking up outfits and running around the town in the search for a florist. He rarely bought flowers for his girlfriends, but something told him that Oswald was the kind of guy who would appreciate it. Thanks to this he also had something to put his thoughts too, since the rest of the time he was worrying about their plan backfiring or worse, the killer ignoring them and going for someone else. He couldn’t shake the idea of them both going out of their limbs to catch the guy only for him to ignore them entirely and not make a move on that party. There was also a huge possibility that people might not buy into their act. Cobblepot was convinced that he could make people believe anything he wanted, but Jim didn’t share that view. Or perhaps he didn’t want to share it? He couldn’t possibly allow some killer to run around freely just because he was afraid of losing his reputation or because he despised the thought of Oswald ‘being his boyfriend’ for a few weeks. However, some part of him wanted to believe that the picture of him and Oswald in some restaurant is not enough for anyone to think that they are an item.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That evening, when Jim pulled onto Oswald’s driveway, after the whole day of worrying, he was more stressed out than he was the first time he asked a girl out on a date. So many things could go wrong. And it wasn’t even what scared him the most. What truly terrified him was the notion that he would have to play Oswald’s boyfriend for another two weeks before the party. He did say he would do his best though, so before he got out of that car he took a few deep breaths and put a smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked up to the manor’s huge door and ring the bell. Waiting for the doors to open Jim stomped his feet wondering if perhaps he should have never agreed to it. Perhaps it wasn’t too late to refuse? To run away from this? No. He was a professional. A cop. There was a serial killer on the loose. Jim had a job to do. He had to treat it like any other undercover case. Make himself forget that it was Cobblepot on the other side of the table. It wasn’t like they were going to do anything out of the ordinary anyway. Only dinner. Not that they’ve ever shared a meal before. But it couldn’t be so different from their usual meetings. Right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door swung open and before Jim could utter a word Gabe was already calling Oswald.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boss, it’s Jim Gordon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It only took Oswald something around 30 seconds to get to the door himself. He was dressed in one of his perfectly tailored suits and even though Jim picked his outfit very carefully he had nothing on Cobblepot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The flowers in his hand made Oswald laugh and Jim couldn’t help but huff a laugh himself when Cobblepot muttered: “Aw, James, you know you don’t have to bring me flowers, I’m already sleeping with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though Oswald’s voice was playful the man couldn’t help but blush at his own implication.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were the one who told me to play nice, Oswald. Want me to shove you against some walls instead?” Jim moved into Cobblepot’s personal space and smiled at him jokingly. As Jim would find out the next day looking through the newspaper the manner in which he approached Oswald on this evening did, in fact, raise some questions about the nature of their relationship. No kissing needed, just like Penguin said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Gabe.  Now get the car.” Oswald said to the other man, his eyes never leaving Jim’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gabe answered with “yes, boss” and walked by Jim to the garage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought we were going by my car” Jim opposed, still not moving out of Cobblepot’s personal space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, you see, James, I simply thought it would be a shame if we couldn’t share a glass of wine during dinner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm, and how do you imagine I will go home later?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald smiled deviously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Jim, you won’t do such a thing! You’re staying here tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha…” Jim didn’t get to finish his question, because Oswald suddenly turned around from him and called for someone inside the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Olga!” The maid appeared behind him and Oswald took flowers from Jim’s hands only to hand it over to the older woman. “Find a nice vase for them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Olga disappeared inside the house and Oswald finally turned around to Jim, who was still trying to process the fact that Cobblepot expected him to spend the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve never said anything about spending the night at your place!” Gordon called after him, when Oswald walked by him in the direction of his car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I didn’t? Well, now you know. It’s essential for the plan to work, so it’s not like you have any other choice, Jim.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’ve spent the whole ride to the restaurant arguing about Oswald not telling him sooner and expecting Jim to just accept it and move on. When they finally arrived at the restaurant Jim was no longer stressed. Instead he was angry at Cobblepot. He was sure that the lying son of a bitch did this on purpose. Only to rile him up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The restaurant chosen by Oswald was in the part of town, which Jim rarely visited. Not to mention that the restaurant itself was one of the few that Jim could never afford with the cop's salary. The look on Jim’s face must have been rather obvious, because even before Gordon could comment on it, Oswald said:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about a thing, James. I’m paying tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I can’t…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s only reasonable, Jim. I invited you here, so I’m the one paying for it. And don’t worry, it’s no problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim sighted. It was too much, especially since Jim has never done anything to deserve such a treatment from Oswald. He figured that this was just a part of an act though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright then. Lead the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The second picture of them was taken in the restaurant and that one Jim knew about, because right before it was taken Oswald told Jim that he will put his hand on his. In all honesty, the fact that Cobblepot informed him about it surprised Gordon more than the action itself. He knew that he warned Oswald that he doesn’t want any public displays of affection to be a part of this, but he never thought that the smaller man would care about it that much. Jim didn’t question Oswald, but something in his face must have given out his surprise, because a moment later Oswald was explaining to him:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you flinch or make a face at me when I touch you, nobody will believe that we’ve been secretly sleeping with each other for the past few years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Jim nodded and moved his hand a little to touch the tips of Oswald’s fingers, Cobblepot returned his smile and put his hand over Gordon’s on the table. Oswald’s hands, in contrast to Jim’s, were warm and delicate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know that someone is taking pictures right now?” Jim asked him and Cobblepot shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure, but I think I saw a flash.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So how did you get a journalist to follow us anyway?” Jim asked seemingly unfazed by Oswald’s hand on his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve sent an anonymous tip to the Gotham Gazette, in which I informed them that their mayor is having sexual relations with James Gordon of the GCPD and that Jim Gordon is going to pick mayor Cobblepot at his manor at 7PM on Saturday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim snorted, rubbing Oswald’s hand with his thumb absentmindedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And how did you know they wouldn’t disregard this piece of information as a joke?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, even if they didn’t think it was true, they had to check it. That's a newspaper for you. They follow their leads, make sure that there is no story there, because if there is… well, we will see tomorrow, won’t we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald suddenly took his hand away and took a sip of his wine. Jim would have never admitted that to anybody, but for a second there he missed the warmth of Cobblepot’s hand. For a while now the only touches he was subjected to were either friendly patting on the back or the angry punches. It’s been some time since somebody held his hand in a more romantic manner and Gordon suddenly realized how much he missed it. Not that he would ever care to admit it to anyone, but since Lee left he wasn’t able to even think of being with anyone else and perhaps that was a mistake. Perhaps he should look for someone. At least some rebound girl. To get himself back in the game. It wasn’t like Lee was going to suddenly walk back into his life anyway…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what next?” Jim asked Penguin, trying to put Lee out of his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You will stay the night and leave in the morning in a rather disheveled state, I will go to work tomorrow wearing a scarf, probably hiding hickies or something, and then you’ll find out about the pictures. Come running into my office, angry that I let something like this happen. That will make people in my office talking. We will try keeping it hush for a few days, avoid the issue, but at some point I will have to give out a statement about the nature of our relationship and one week later we will go to the party. You will be my boyfriend for one more night, then we will catch the guy and tell people the truth. Simple as that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if there is no one to take the pictures though? If there will be no one waiting at the manor at night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Easy, Jim. I will have Gabe take our pictures in case nobody shows up. He will then anonymously mail them to the Gotham Gazette.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim leaned back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you really think it will work?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I do, Jim. If I didn’t we wouldn’t be sitting here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim scrunched his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but what makes you think that people will so easily believe in this? That we don’t have to, you know, do anything more? Like… kiss each other publicly?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If we kissed that would make everything more doubtful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim sipped his wine as well. If he had to spend at least an hour at this place he might as well make the best of it and a few glasses of wine has never hurt anybody. It might also help him fall asleep faster later on when they come back to the manor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t keep something like that discreet if you go around making out in public, and you and I, my old friend, are very discreet people. This acquaintance puts your reputation at risk and me, having feelings for you, puts your life at risk, Jim. I don’t want to see you hurt. It’s better to keep things hush even now when you’re no longer a detective. That, and the fact that you would never be alright with people knowing about your feelings for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim almost choked on his wine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The best lie, Jim, is built on a truth. This is a secret to making people believe what you want them to believe. You make it real by telling a lie that has something true in it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I follow you, Oswald.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a man of principles. A soldier. A good man, who believes in justice. If you ever started having feelings for a criminal, you wouldn’t just sleep with them and forget about these principals. No, it would eat at you for a long time. It would make you snap at people. Make you hate yourself… That’s our truth. We will twist it a little, but it will stay true to who you are, Jim. Gotham’s greatest hero.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After all I’ve done… you’re still calling me a good man?” He was far from that. He didn’t even know if he ever was that good of a man. A soldier, yes. A decent cop, perhaps. But a good man? Jim wasn’t sure anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone makes mistakes, Jim.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? And what makes you so forgiving? I left you in Arkham, remember?” Jim wasn’t sure if it was wine that made him bitter all of a sudden or the fact that Oswald was so nice to him even though Jim did nothing to deserve it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but before that you helped me avenge my dear mother.” Jim raised his eyes from the glass of wine he was focusing on for the better part of this conversation. Their eyes met and for the brief moment Jim remembered the night, in which they faced each other with guns in their hands. He killed my mother, Jim. Gordon has never heard Oswald so devastated and in that moment he felt for him more than ever. Perhaps that was part of the reason why he helped Oswald kidnap Galavan later on. Perhaps that’s also part of the reason why he shot the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry about your mother, Oswald,” Jim told him. He wasn’t sure if he’s ever addressed it in such an open manner. He took a sip of his wine and then added silently: “And I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you when you told me about Arkham.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Oswald smiled sadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you. Your apology has been accepted, old friend.” After that they’ve sat in silence for a short moment, feeling at peace with each other if only for this one evening. “So, how’s the life of a bounty hunter treating you, Jim?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim huffed a laugh under his breath. That couple of glasses of wine had loosened his tongue enough to share a little more with Oswald that night than he normally would. He just hoped he wouldn’t come to regret it at some point. Cobblepot didn’t seem as if he was remembering the details of his stories for later use. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying Jim’s stories, but Gordon has never trusted the guy and he was surely not going to start now. For that reason, he told himself he would omit details that Oswald could use against him. He just didn’t find that many of them in the end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they got back to the manor an hour later Jim felt more than a little tipsy. In fact, in the morning he was going to come to the realization that he'd let himself get drunk with Penguin. Perhaps that is why he didn’t think anything about it when Oswald came with him to the guest room in which Jim was supposed to sleep that night and stood in front of one of the huge windows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you looking at?” Jim asked after a moment. Oswald was looking out on something in the darkness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure. Can you come here and look as well?” Something in Oswald’s voice felt off and normally Jim would have noticed that instantly. On this night though he felt exceptionally reckless. So instead of questioning Oswald’s actions he came up to the window and stood behind him to watch something in the dark.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So? What are we looking at?” Jim whispered conspiratorially and Oswald chuckled. The smaller man turned his head a little and whispered back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jim.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Jim absentmindedly looked away from the window and down at Oswald. Penguin’s face was mere centimeters away and when he wetted his lips with his tongue it easily caught Jim’s attention. He wanted to repeat his question, but suddenly he lost his tongue, his mind going completely blank for a second in this dimly lit room. Perhaps it was wine, perhaps something else entirely, but instead of backing away from Penguin, who looked like he was seconds away from kissing him, Jim smiled down at him, his own tongue coming out in between his lips playfully and catching Oswald’s attention in return. The smaller man followed the movement and then as if he'd woken up from some stupor Cobblepot closed the long heavy drapes in the windows and stepped around Jim to get out of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, James” the gangster told him without turning around to look at him and then he was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim didn’t think about what had transpired for much longer. Instead he’s decided to undress and go to sleep. After all he had to get up pretty early to make his exit. He didn’t know that by the time he was going to wake up the whole city would already have read the Gotham Gazette and seen the three pictures that were going to give life to their fake relationship.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Rumor has it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jim sees the pictures that were taken of him and Oswald and then pays Oswald a visit at the City Hall. Life seems to go on after that but then Jim finds a reason to visit Oswald out of the blue. What happens when he does?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! I'm not sure how many of you saw the message I posted in the last chapter so I'm going to say it again: I'm sorry for not posting yesterday! I graduated from university yesterday and the whole day was filled with celebrations. That's why I had no time to edit or post the chapter. Here it is though! I'm still the only person that looked at it - no editor unfortunately - but I hope it's not bad.<br/>Yet again if any native speaker of english wants to help me out - I would be very grateful for any feedback on grammar and punctuation. </p><p>Alright, so let me know what you think about this chapter! And "see" you next week :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim couldn’t look away from the pictures in the Gotham Gazette. There were only three, but in his opinion that was more than enough. In fact, at least one of these made him blush fiercely every time he as much as glanced at it. The first photo, the one taken when Jim came to pick Oswald up looked playful and warm. The second, with Oswald’s hand on his, looked as if it was a shot from a romantic comedy, but it was the last one that made him wish for earth to swallow him whole.</p><p>He knew now why Oswald ushered him to come to the window. If the gangster wanted someone to take a photo of them standing in a bedroom looking like they were about to kiss, there was no doubt that he succeeded. The photo, even though of poor quality, was the most intimate of all three with how close Jim stood to Oswald and how they were leaning into each other, smiling a little. The light, or perhaps it was the wine, colored Jim’s cheeks making it look as if Jim was blushing. Oswald was watching him with heavy-lidded eyes and if Jim didn’t know any better he would say that this look on his own face was in fact desire. Why the hell did they stand so close to each other? Jesus.</p><p> “Rumor has it you’re banging the freak. That true?” Harvey said loud enough for some of the other customers to overhear and turn their heads in their direction. Jim had to restrain himself from grimacing and then possibly punching Harvey in his stupid face for enjoying this a little too much. Instead he smiled slyly at the guy and muttered:</p><p>“You know I don’t kiss and tell, Harv,” he winked at the guy and Harvey almost choked on his own saliva.</p><p>He took a seat right by Jim and ordered coffee and some waffles.</p><p>“You don’t have to say anything. The pic says it all for you and let me tell you something, Jimbo,” Harvey brought his voice down to a whisper, making sure nobody heard the next part of his sentence: “if I didn’t know any better I would definitely think you two are going at it.”</p><p>Suddenly he regretted eating breakfast at the manor with Oswald. The remark made him physically sick.</p><p>He couldn’t have held back the grimace anymore.</p><p>“Well, if I didn’t know any better I would think we’re going at it.”</p><p>His words made Harvey chuckle and Jim smiled a little even though this whole situation was wearing him out already.</p><p>“Seriously, I still don’t get why you agreed to this charade.”</p><p>“Yeah, me neither.” Jim finished off his coffee and raised his hand to catch the attention of the waitress. In the state he was in, he probably shouldn’t drink more coffee, but there was a long, awful day ahead of him and since he couldn’t really get drunk…</p><p>The waitress came back to them with the plate of waffles for Harvey and a pot of fresh coffee. She poured some into Harvey’s cup and then refilled Jim’s. She smiled at him. Jim sent her a tight-lipped smile in return and brought his attention back to the newspaper. The pictures were bad enough and Jim couldn’t yet bring himself to read the article. The headline alone made him feel anxious. <em>The truth about Mayor Cobblepot and James Gordon’s relationship: were they together the whole time?</em></p><p>Jim didn’t have to be a detective to know what that question implied. What they were really asking was: was Jim Gordon covering up for Oswald Cobblepot the whole time? Jim knew it was what they wanted to happen. The public was supposed to take an interest in what exactly did this relationship mean, when did it happen and to question whether it meant that James Gordon wasn’t as saint as they thought he was. That was the plan and Jim knew it. Still, he couldn’t help but feel exposed. For there was something true in these accusations and both Cobblepot and him knew it.</p><p>“So, what’s next?” Harvey asked, digging in his plate.</p><p>Jim checked his watch before answering:</p><p>“Oswald has a meeting in an hour. I’m going to crash it and shout at him in front of some assholes.”</p><p>“Oh, it doesn’t sound so bad. I have no idea how you went through with this though” Harvey pinched the dreaded picture from the manor with his fork and Jim, yet again, felt sick. It wasn’t only the look of the picture that made him want to empty out the content of his stomach though, it was also the thought that so many people around Gotham could see them in such an intimate moment. For Jim public displays of affection were purely terrifying. When he was with Lee he could barely stand the thought of her kissing him in front of his fellow officers. It took all of his will power not to bolt when she approached him with the intention to kiss him or hug him in front of the smallest group of people. Therefore, to have all of Gotham watching him in such a moment, and with Penguin of all people, was distressing.</p><p> “You do know that it was staged, right?” Well, that wasn’t the whole truth, was it? He was way too drunk at night to realize what was Penguin’s agenda when he came to stand in front of that window, but Harvey didn’t need to know that. Nobody had to know that Jim had gotten so drunk that he hadn't realized what all that was about until he saw these photos. Not to mention the fact that for a second there he thought Oswald was going to break the rules and kiss him. The fact that Jim was so stupidly drunk that he didn’t even think about moving away from him when that thought crossed his mind was going to stay a secret forever as well.</p><p>“Good to know” Harvey was still watching the picture with a disgusted look on his face. “But I don’t envy you. Man, these look positively horrifying.”</p><p>“Agreed,” Jim finished drinking his coffee and moved to get up. “See you later at the pub?”</p><p>“Sure, see ya. Good luck with Penguin.”</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Jim strode into the City Hall with the Gotham Gazette in his hand. Acting as if he was angry with Oswald was easy for him since that was his default reaction to everything that concerned the man in question. He moved past Oswald’s secretary who got up from her seat in order to chase him.</p><p>“I’m sorry, but you have to wait! Mayor Cobblepot has a meeting!” She was shouting at him, but Gordon wasn’t going to listen.</p><p>He all but burst into the conference room attached to Oswald’s office, his eyes finding Cobblepot almost instantly. Just as Oswald said yesterday he was wearing a burgundy scarf that was covering his neck. The scarf complemented his black, tailored suit and a burgundy vest that he wore on top of white button-down shirt. As always Oswald Cobblepot looked impeccable.</p><p>The mayor gave Jim a onceover and then smiled sweetly as if he didn’t notice the angry look on Jim’s face.</p><p>“Jim, old friend! I’m sorry, but you’ll have to wait. You see, I’m in the middle of something…” He made a gesture with his hand towards the other men in the room, but Jim didn’t turn around to follow it. Suddenly he’s realized that instead of bursting in screaming like he was supposed to, he froze in his spot the moment he saw Oswald. They talked in the morning, but Jim did everything in his power to avoid looking at the other man as every time he did the scene in the bedroom stood before his eyes as a reminder of the embarrassing moment they shared. Now he couldn’t avoid the question that has been trying to get his attention for the whole morning: why didn’t he move away when the thought that Oswald might kiss him crossed his mind?</p><p>After another second or two of watching Oswald Jim somehow managed to snap out of it.</p><p>“I’m not waiting, Oswald! What the hell is this?!” He raised his hand showing the newspaper to Cobblepot. “You knew, didn’t you?! You did that on purpose!”</p><p>That was not what he was supposed to say either, but suddenly he’s realized that he feels betrayed by Cobblepot. He should have told Jim that there was a photographer taking their pictures in that window instead of tricking him into… into what exactly? Jim wasn’t sure, but he felt embarrassed nonetheless. It bothered him that he had to lie to Harvey about it being staged. Well, it was staged, but not by Jim and that part was the one that annoyed him the most.</p><p>“I certainly didn’t, James! Now, excuse me for a moment, gentlemen,” he smiled at the other men in the room and then took Jim by his wrist to drag him into the other room, which was significantly smaller than the conference one. The door was left a little ajar so that the men in the other room would hear them clearly even though the businessmen thought they weren’t supposed to hear. Cobblepot let go of his arm, turned around and shouted suddenly just as angry as Jim: “What do you think you’re doing, Jim?! Bursting into my office like that?! And in the middle of a meeting?! Have you lost your mind?!” It was staged. Jim knew that, but somehow it got a raise of him anyway. He’s got into Cobblepot’s face, even though there was no need for that since nobody could see them from here.</p><p>“And what the hell do you think you’re doing?! You want me to believe that with all the surveillance you didn’t realize someone was in you freaking garden, taking pictures?! What do you need this for, huh?! What’s the plan here?!”</p><p>“Why do you always suspect me of plotting against you?! Don’t you see that all I’ve ever done was helping you?! Protecting you?! And where were you when I needed you, huh?! Pretending that you don’t even know me!”</p><p>Jim felt as if Oswald just slapped him. Jim remembered Oswald saying that the best lie is based on truth, but at the moment he didn’t care. It wasn’t fair for Cobblepot to bring these accusations into the fight. Not after Jim apologized for them. More than that, after he let Oswald know how bad he feels because of what he did to him. He didn’t need a reminder of how wrong it was for him to leave Oswald in Arkham. The thing was that both could play that game. If Oswald wanted some truth, then he was going to get it.</p><p>“And what else did you want me to do, Oswald?! Tell the whole Gotham… what? That since the moment I’ve met you I couldn’t get rid of your stupid face?! That I tried pushing you away, but you’d always come back!? That I wouldn’t be able to fucking shoot you even if I the lives were at stake?!” Oswald’s eyes went big. Jim took a huge breath, trying and failing not to shudder visibly at what he was going to say next. He wouldn’t have imagined any scenario in which these words were going to leave his mouth, but here it was. He had to steer the conversation into different direction before he said anything too close to home. “Or perhaps you want me to tell everyone all about how I’m sleeping with you?! And how I’m enjoying every single minute of it?! Is that why you had someone take these photos of us?!”</p><p>Oswald was silent for a long moment. Just looking into Jim’s eyes more pale and shocked than Jim has ever seen him.</p><p>“I would never make you do something you wouldn’t want, James” He said finally, his voice trembling a little. “But I don’t want to keep it a secret anymore. I don’t want you telling me how I can’t come to you and invite you to my party in front of other people. I want to be able to go on a date without fretting every single second that somebody might see us! I just… I want to be with you, Jim Gordon.”</p><p>Oswald swallowed visibly, slight blush coloring his chicks even though they both knew that it was a bunch of crap, said only for the audience in the second room. At least that’s what Jim told himself. Still, he couldn’t help but think back to all of the times that Oswald wanted to be his friend. What if what Oswald meant by “I want to be with you” was “I want to be your friend”? Could he still want that after all that Jim has done to him?</p><p>“And how do you imagine that ever working out?! You’re a criminal, Oswald.”</p><p> “No, I’m not! I’m the mayor of Gotham now, Jim!”</p><p>That silenced Jim for good. What could he possibly say to that without giving away the fact that he still didn’t trust Oswald, even though he was the mayor now? How could he possibly address the fact that Oswald would always be a criminal for him even if everyone in this town claimed differently? Saying all that out loud would probably put Oswald in a very uncomfortable position. Even if Jim knew it to be true. Perhaps it wasn’t important anyway. Perhaps Jim was the only one here, who thought that there was more to their conversation than meets the eye.</p><p>“Okay then.” Jim spoke softly after a moment and Oswald blinked at him, not fully understanding where that shift in his behavior came from.</p><p>“Okay?”</p><p>“Okay, let’s do this.”</p><p>“Do what, Jim?” Oswald grimaced at him, visibly unhappy about the short answer he’s got.</p><p>Jim shrugged, even though yet again, nobody except for Oswald could see him. Agreeing to it felt surreal even though he wasn’t really agreeing to anything.</p><p>“Be together. Officially.”</p><p>That shocked Oswald even more and Jim remembered too late that they were supposed to avoid confirming or denying the rumor for the next couple of days. Perhaps it served Oswald right because he didn’t mention his plans to Jim as well.</p><p>“Very well then, let’s talk about it later this evening, alright?” Jim nodded, not breaking eye contact with Penguin.</p><p>After that he left. He had no reason to go to Cobblepot’s manor this evening as they didn’t really need to talk about anything. Instead Jim had a job to do. Somebody spotted one of the Arkham’s monsters near the docs and Gordon had to go and investigate that. He got beat up pretty badly on that afternoon, but ended up bringing the guy to the GCPD just as Harvey was getting ready to leave the precinct and go to their pub. On that evening Harvey told him that Lee was back in town and was probably going to go back to working for the GCPD. Jim tried not to show how much this information affected him. Play it cool, he told himself, but instead of doing that he just avoided going to the precinct for the next few days altogether. It wasn’t as if he had time for it anyway, since he’s been tasked with finding Alice Tetch. He did go to the City Hall though, thinking that perhaps Oswald has heard about someone like that when he was locked up in there.</p><p>It was Thursday morning when he yet again showed up in Oswald’s office unannounced. This time the secretary didn’t try to stop him and Jim wondered whether it was because she knew by now that he wouldn’t listen to her anyway or it was just because Oswald had no meeting this time. He strode into Cobblepot’s office and was greeted by Penguin’s bright smile and Nygma’s displeased pout.</p><p>“Leave us, Ed” Oswald told the other man and even though Nygma looked slightly offended by the notion that he wasn’t allowed to stay, he did what he was told and soon Jim and Oswald were the only ones in the room. “Jim, so nice to see you. How have you been these past couple of days, my friend?”</p><p>Jim cleared his throat and went straight to the business:</p><p>“What can you tell me about Alice Tetch?”</p><p>Oswald furrowed his forehead.</p><p>“I’ve never heard that name before. What about her?”</p><p>Normally Jim wouldn’t give Oswald any information about the case he was working on. This time however he didn’t catch himself quick enough.</p><p>“Her brother is looking for her. Says she was one of the monsters Strange created.”</p><p>At the name of the doctor Oswald shuddered visibly and Jim couldn’t help but feel sorry for him again. Perhaps bringing this matter to Oswald wasn’t such a great idea.</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry, Jim, I wish I could help you find her, but I’ve never met anyone of that name.”</p><p>Jim shook his head.</p><p>“It was worth a shot. Alright, I’m going to leave you to your…” Before he could finish though Oswald was already getting up from his seat.</p><p>“Actually, Jim, it’s quite fortunate that you’re here. I’m giving a speech in an hour and a half. It’s about the new plans for the school building and some of the other enactments I’ve been working on, but I expect people to ask some questions regarding my personal life. It would probably look good if you were there… you know, for the big announcement.”</p><p>Jim cleared his throat, trying to come up with some excuse and coming up short.</p><p>“Eee…sure. I can wait if you need me to…”</p><p>Oswald smiled at him brightly, reaching out and grabbing him by the arm near his elbow.</p><p>“I have a better idea. Are you hungry? I haven’t had breakfast today. Perhaps we could go out and find some nice restaurant?”</p><p>Jim was actually starving. First thing in the morning he started looking for clues on Alice Tetch and didn’t have time to grab anything to eat. But going out with Oswald again? And this time on his own violation, not forced by the case? Yet again it took Jim too long to answer and before he knew it he was dragged by Oswald out of the office. Oswald informed his secretary that they are going to be back in an hour ignoring entirely the surprised look she was sending them. Nygma was nowhere to be seen and this was something Jim actually appreciated. He also appreciated the fact that once they were outside Oswald let go of his arm and even though they walked arm in arm, the other man didn’t try reaching for his hand or anything like that. They ventured into the streets of Gotham, looking for some nice, small restaurant when Jim noticed food truck with hotdogs and burgers.</p><p>“Really, Jim? The stakeout food? Please…” To say that Oswald didn’t like his choice was an understatement.</p><p>Jim chuckled.</p><p>“Oh, come on. Have you actually ever tried one or you’re just hating it on principle?” By the face Oswald was making Jim concluded that it was the latter. “Come on, just try one and if you won’t like it I’ll buy you some lobster or something.”</p><p>That picked Oswald’s attention. His sly smile made Jim shiver. </p><p>“Is that a promise, James?”</p><p>“Yeah, I bet you won’t find it as bad as you think so, but if you are then I’m buying you dinner at some fancy place.”</p><p>Oswald snorted.</p><p>“Can you even afford it, James? I can’t imagine bounty hunting being a gold mine?”</p><p>“Oh, shut up.” Jim ordered them two burgers and soon enough they were sitting on one of the lovely benches outside the City Hall.</p><p>The manner in which Oswald watched the burger made Jim laugh and when the smaller man looked up to see Gordon laughing he sent him a murderous glare. Their eyes met and this time Jim couldn’t blame alcohol for how lightheaded he felt. It was the first time that Jim has ever stopped worrying about people seeing and associating them with each other. They were going to clear that up after the case anyway so there was no harm in it. Perhaps that’s why he felt so at peace with them sitting on that small bench so close to each other that their knees were bumping from time to time.</p><p>“And? Do you like it?”</p><p>Oswald frowned, looking at the burger as if it personally offended him.</p><p>“Well, you were right, it’s not half as bad as I expected.”</p><p>“Seriously?!”</p><p>“No.” Jim laughed again, but stopped when he noticed Oswald watching him with an odd expression on his face. Perhaps he should have asked what that look was all about, but he’s seen it on Oswald’s face quite a few times before. It always made him feel all sorts of things, none of which were welcomed, so he would always pretend that he didn’t see it and run away from the man the first chance he’s got. This time, though, he made himself swallow the fear and stay on the bench.</p><p>“So, any place you want me to take you? We should get a move on, if we want to be back on time for your press conference…” Jim said instead, turning his head away and breaking the eye contact. He bit down into his burger, making the food his priority for the moment.</p><p>“I don’t think we can make it in time, Jim, and I wouldn’t be able to eat anything else anyway.”</p><p>“But I promised…” Gordon started to protest, but Oswald interrupted him.</p><p>“You’ll owe me. How about that?” Jim almost choked on his burger. When he raised his eyes at Oswald the other man was still watching him, adoration evident on his face. Jim truly hated that look.</p><p>“Sure. I’ll owe you a lobster.” He said. That was another unsettling thing. Owing something to Oswald Cobblepot only ever got him in trouble. However, he figured that dinner couldn’t possibly be as dangerous as favors that they’ve exchanged in the past. Jim finished his burger and shifted his attention to Oswald. “So, you’re ready to put on a little show?”</p><p>Oswald, who was still struggling with his burger, getting the sauce all over his face, only nodded. In that moment he didn’t look like a notorious criminal or a psychopath that the town believed him to be at one point and for the first time since ever Jim found himself wondering if Oswald was as malicious as Jim thought him to be. That was a dangerous thought to have so he discarded it pretty quickly. </p><p>They went back to the City Hall and got swarmed by reporters on the stairs leading to the building. Jim’s training kicked in and he put his arm around Oswald’s shoulders shielding him from the cameras as if he was Oswald’s bodyguard. They managed to get to the part of the stairs that was divided with tape and the real bodyguards that were supposed to guard Oswald from the public. There was a podium and a microphone waiting for Oswald there alongside with Ed Nygma, his secretary and a few other suits from City Hall. Jim escorted Oswald to them and then stepped aside, letting Oswald do his job. The whole speech went pretty smoothly. Cobblepot had a speech prepared and from the looks of it he also guessed what questions will be faired his way, because he didn’t even stutter once. At least not till the very end, when one of the reporters shouted at him:</p><p>“Are we just going to ignore the elephant in the room, Mr. Mayor?”</p><p>Oswald’s brows furrowed.</p><p>“What elephant?” He asked the man, squinting his eyes at him.</p><p>“What is the relationship between you and James Gordon?”</p><p>The rest of the reporters suddenly felt silent, all listening to every word from their Mayor.</p><p>“Not that this is anyone’s business, but since I, unlike our ex-mayor, have nothing to hide, I’ll answer this question, even though it’s highly unprofessional of you to ask me this.” Jim noticed Oswald looking down to his notes, even though he refrained from it for the whole interview. It was obvious that he remembered whatever was in there by heart. Why was he stalling now? Jim furrowed his brows, watching Oswald swallow visibly.</p><p>“Me and Jim Gordon…we’re…umm…we’ve known each other for the longest of times. If it wasn’t for James, I wouldn’t be standing before you tonight. I owe him my life. He was my friend when nobody else was there, and even though our relationship is of a very complicated nature, I…we’re…umm…” Oswald cleared his throat, looking down to his notes again. “we’ve been…emm…well, it’s not a secret anymore, but…umm…we’re… I mean, I…”</p><p>Oswald was visibly struggling to name their relationship and even though Jim had no idea why, he felt bad for the guy. He actually felt bad enough that when Oswald looked back and locked his eyes with him for a brief moment before turning back to the reporters and taking a huge breath as if he had to calm himself, Jim walked up to him and leaned down to the microphone.</p><p>“He’s my partner, if you catch my drift” Jim winked at them, fake smile coming up to his lips. “But I would appreciate it if you stopped harassing us by taking photos of our bedroom windows. Unless you want to lose some teeth my advice for you is to leave me and my partner alone. Are we done here? Any more questions?” He showed his teeth in a smile, straightening up and pulling Oswald to his side in a half embrace. Of course his response elicited even more questions, but Mayor Cobblepot told everyone that the conference came to an end and that they won’t be answering any personal questions in the future. Then Oswald caught Jim by his wrist and dragged him in the direction of the City Hall, which made Gordon wonder if that is going to be their new thing: instead of Jim shoving Oswald against walls, Oswald will be dragging him around by his hand whenever he feels like it. Or rather, whenever he’s angry at him, as was the case this time.</p><p>The second they walked in to Oswald’s office the smaller man turned around and all but sneered at him:</p><p>“And I am the one who ruins your reputation?! What was that, Jim?! You cannot threaten people on national TV! Not if you’re dating the mayor of this city! Why did you even feel the need to speak up?”</p><p>“You seemed to be struggling. I just wanted to help you. Look, Oswald, I just told them that we share a bedroom, I’m sure they didn’t even notice the part about me punching their teeth out.”</p><p>“You better pray they didn’t, Jim!”</p><p>The hand that was still holding onto his wrist tightened its hold and Jim yet again noticed how close to each other they were standing.</p><p>“I’m sorry, look, do you want me to buy you this lobster? Is it going to make it better?”</p><p>“No, Jim. No lobster will make it better. You’ve just embarrassed me in front of many people…”</p><p>Finally, Oswald loosened his hold on Jim’s hand, but didn’t let him go entirely. Instead he let his fingers travel down to the inner part of his hand, touching his skin lightly.</p><p>Jim cleared his throat and Oswald’s hand stopped. The smaller man looked up at him. Their eyes met.</p><p>“Alright, I’m sorry, I just wanted to help. Why did you struggle so much with it anyway? I thought you had the whole speech remembered?”</p><p>“I had. I just left out that part. I put it away for later and never actually got to writing it down.” Oswald told him looking down to their hands again and interlacing their fingers. Jim jerked a little at the touch. Up to that point Cobblepot was touching the inside of his hand so lightly that Jim wasn’t sure if he wasn’t imagining the whole thing. Now there was no denying it. Oswald continued as if what he was doing wasn’t weird at all. Jim’s heart was pounding so loudly he could swear he could hear it in his ears. “I just couldn’t think of anything to call us. Everything seemed wrong, you know? Boyfriends? Couple?  Partners? We’re none of these anyway.” </p><p>“Since when have you had second thoughts about lying?”</p><p>Oswald raised his head to look at him again. His slender fingers closing on Jim’s own.</p><p>“Contrary to what you believe in, Jim, I don’t lie that much. And since I’m a mayor it is rather important for me to be honest. They’ll never believe me if I’m not, and if you would so kindly think back to it, I haven’t actually lied to them. All I said about you was true and well thought through until you’ve decided to ruin it all.”</p><p>Jim sighted and squeezed Oswald’s hand in his.</p><p>“Technically, I didn’t lie. We are partners.”</p><p>Oswald gasped and for a second Jim regretted saying anything.</p><p> “Since when?”</p><p>“Since we’re working on this case together.”</p><p>“Oh.” Oswald let go of his hand, releasing Jim from the weird tension that overtook his whole body. “Yes, you’re right. I must leave you now, James. I have another meeting in a few minutes.”</p><p>Jim let him go. Oswald’s behavior unsettled him. Fortunately, now that they made their relationship public, they will only have to pretend one more time, at the party. Hopefully, they will catch the killer and be done with it before anyone starts to question their relationship even further.</p><p>As Jim exited the City Hall his phone rang. He answered it absentmindedly without looking at the caller’s ID and almost choked on his own saliva when he heard the voice on the other side of the line.</p><p>“James Gordon, why on earth wouldn’t you tell your own mother that you’re dating someone before going on national TV and informing the whole world about it?!”</p><p>Shit.</p><p>He forgot that his mother sometimes watches Gotham’s news.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. What could have been</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Oswald ponders about his relationship with Jim as he awaits Jim's arrival. The party that they are to attend together is around the corner and so is the end of their fake relationship, but first, they have to catch the killer.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello everyone!<br/>I just wanted to let you all know that this chapter is special, because ethom947 decided to help me with editing. Hopefully, from now on all of the chapters in that story will be edited by her. So if any of you feels like the language is more natural now or that it's more smooth you know who to thank for that :)<br/>I know that I couldn't be more grateful! Thank you very very much ethom947! </p><p>I hope that you'll all enjoy this chapter as much as the others :) Please, let me know what you think!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edited by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethom947">ethom947</a></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Oswald was in love with Jim Gordon. The conclusion was so simple. Truthfully, he had no idea how Jim couldn’t see it for himself. He tried telling himself that being in love with James would only hurt him. Weaken him. That it would bring him no good, because, for one thing, Jim Gordon didn’t love him back. He didn’t need Nygma telling him that, although Ed took the liberty to do so anyway. He’s told him all about how Jim doesn’t care about him in so many words that Oswald had to be deluded to not realize that it was all true. Jim wouldn’t be with someone like him even in a million years. Perhaps he would be a little tempted if Oswald was a beautiful woman instead of a small, crippled guy with a hooked nose and Penguin like attire. Jim could never love him, not in a romantic way, not in a sexual one or any other. It was evident and Oswald should put a stop to these fantasies a long time ago. For some time, he’s even succeeded. He was so angry at Jim for leaving him at Arkham he swore he would never trust him again, but then something changed. Jim called him. On his own violation. He called him, gave him Fish, and Oswald’s got all that he’s ever wished for afterward. He’s got power. The office. People that loved and cheered for him. And then this case picked his attention… Of course, he could do it with someone else. Of course, he could even try and get some cops invited to the party so that he wouldn’t have to fatigue himself with it. But he knew Jim was a bounty hunter now. He knew he barely made ends meet with how little people were willing to pay him for his job. Jim needed money and he was sure that the GCPD would pay him a lot if he brought this killer to them. That and the fact that it would mean they would have to spend some time in each other’s company made Oswald come up with the “fake boyfriend” plan. It was a perfect opportunity and Oswald couldn’t just let it pass. But now he wasn’t so sure if he knew what he was doing anymore. He’s never expected Gordon to be so kind to him. Jim’s behavior in the last few days reminded him of all the reasons that made Oswald fall in love with him for the first time. Oswald thought these feelings were gone. That he wouldn’t fall for Jim again. Not after all these times in which Jim showed him in so many ways that Jim despised him and that no matter what Oswald would do, he would never see him as an equal, as someone who he can trust, someone he could be friends with or more…</p><p>It was beyond stupid and hopeless to entertain the thought of Jim liking Oswald in that special way. But then Jim had to ruin everything by getting drunk on their fake date. He had to go ahead and get so intoxicated that when Oswald called him to the window he stood too close. Oswald could feel Jim’s chest pressing against his back, making him shiver. Jim’s breath lightly ghosted the back of his neck when he leaned down to ask what they were looking at. It made Oswald feel hot all over his body. It has been a while since he felt like this. Too much time has passed since Oswald has been touched by anyone. The last time was way before Fish beat the hell out of him and made him crippled for the rest of his miserable life. So naturally, with Jim’s warm body pressing against his and with his hot breath ghosting against his neck, Oswald felt as if he was going to go mad for real this time. Jim was right in his thinking: Oswald knew that somebody would take the picture of them in that window. However, Oswald was never supposed to turn his head around or whisper Jim’s name. He only wanted for the reporter to take the shot of them in the damned window, but then Jim stood too close to him and destroyed his resolve. Oswald entertained the thought of kissing Jim right there and then. With the way Jim was staring down at him, heat evident in his eyes, he was pretty sure that Jim would allow him to do that. But Cobblepot knew better than that. Jim would probably sober up the second Oswald’s lips touched his and the whole plan would have been ruined. Jim wouldn’t want to work with him anymore. Not in a million years. And Oswald was not willing to risk it. So he fled the room before he had a chance to do something stupid. Thankfully, Jim didn’t mention it afterwards. Jim’s behavior, however, continued to surprise him. It gave Oswald the confidence to see how Jim would react to Oswald touching him more romantically. Something they were both not used to. He didn’t have any specific plan for it, but the occasion presented itself to him when they stood in his office after the press conference. He kept touching Jim’s hand lightly, trying and failing not to freak out internally. He was expecting Jim to step back and rip away his hand and ask him what the hell he was doing. Instead, Jim let him interlace their fingers and even squeezed his hand at some point as if he didn’t mind it. Well, perhaps the ‘didn’t mind it’ part was a bit far fetched since Jim stood frozen and was frowning at Oswald for the better part of it. The thing was that he allowed it even though it made him uncomfortable. Not to mention that lobster thing. Did Jim really offer to take him out sometime in the future? And to some fancy restaurant too? Oswald never imagined, in a million years, that something like this could even be possible. He spent the best part of that evening thinking about the possibilities. No wonder his associates were increasingly frustrated with how distracted he was. From time to time, Gabe would glance at Oswald with a strange expression, followed by judgement from the grimaces that crossed Nygma’s face. Ed was willing to strangle Jim in his sleep. It was clear that Ed was biased. He hated Oswald’s plan from the beginning. Probably even more than he hated Jim Gordon. That’s why Oswald came up with quite a few activities for Ed to undertake on the night the mayor was supposed to meet with Gordon to speak about the upcoming party. They were supposed to have dinner at the manor and lay down some ground rules when it came to the night of investigation. Jim had yet again surprised him with his proposal. Not because Oswald didn’t expect Jim to want to talk about strategy, but he figured that Jim would just burst into his office in the City Hall one day and all but demand Oswald’s attention. Oswald was used to treatment like this from Jim. What he wasn’t used to was Jim calling him in the afternoon and asking if he had dinner plans. It was the only thing that Oswald could think of for the rest of that day. James Gordon wanted to take him out to dinner. </p><p>“You know, I still owe you that lobster or other fancy food of your liking,” Jim told him over the phone. </p><p>To hear Jim say that made Oswald brightly smile. He knew that he was blushing too. Even if Oswald tried, he could not resist blushing. Once again, he was thankful Jim could not see him. Cobblepot refused the lobster though. Jim was still just a bounty hunter and Oswald didn’t want him to spend money on him. Therefore, he insisted they should have dinner at the manor. That and the fact that there would be nobody to eavesdrop on their conversation.</p><p>Oswald was already sitting at the table, awaiting his guest and getting a little restless. Jim was late. But that surely didn’t mean anything? Yes, Jim could have called to inform him of his absence. It wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to let him know that he’s running late, however, Oswald was sure that Jim had a very important reason for being late. When he arrives, Jim will surely have an explanation as to why he was delayed. Food can be reheated. It’s not a problem, right? Oswald tried to stay calm, but with every minute it was getting harder and harder not to become nervous. What if Jim had an accident? What if somebody stabbed him and now Jim was fighting for his life at some hospital? What if…</p><p>When Olga came into the room to announce to him that James Gordon will not be coming over tonight, Oswald, for a brief second, felt regret over the fact that Jim didn’t get stabbed. He would prefer that over the betrayal.</p><p>“What?! Why?! What did he tell you?!”</p><p>“He said he’s calling to apologize. Something came up. He’ll call you tomorrow, sir.”</p><p>“Tomorrow! Did it ever cross his mind that I might not have time to talk to him tomorrow?! No, of course not!” Even though it wasn’t Olga’s fault, Oswald couldn’t help but shout at her just a little. If something did come up Jim should have called Cobblepot on his cellphone! Explain to him why exactly he won’t be able to join him this evening! Instead, he called a landline phone and Oswald could only assume that it was because he wanted to avoid the direct confrontation.</p><p>“I’m sorry about your date, Mr. Cobblepot.”</p><p>The implication made Oswald blush, but his anger didn’t subside.  </p><p>“It wasn’t a date! It was a business meeting! Now, go, I’m not paying you to pity me!”</p><p>Olga probably didn’t understand that last bit. Her English wasn’t near good, but she did understand it enough to know that her assistance was not required anymore.</p><p>“Do you want me to take the food back to the kitchen, sir?” She asked him instead of continuing the conversation about Jim.</p><p>“No, leave it and get Gabe. We will pay Jim a visit! If he thinks he can just cancel on me all of a sudden without giving me an explanation, he’s wrong!”</p><p>Olga rushed to the entrance, leaving Oswald alone to his anger. He was outraged by Jim’s lack of respect for him. Canceling the last minute and not even giving him a reason! Ungrateful bastard! The food was already on the table! Oswald was patiently waiting for this dinner the whole day. It was so unfair of Jim to just not show up! They could have had such a lovely evening but Jim had to do what Jim does best: hurt him. Betray him! Raise his hopes only to smash them down. That was always the case with Jim, wasn’t it?</p><p>
  <em> Oh, Oswald, if you knew, why would you ever let him trick you like that? Perhaps you’re not that smart… </em>
</p><p>His inner voice sounded suspiciously like Nygma’s.</p><p>
  <em> Shut up. </em>
</p><p>He told himself and got up to find Gabe himself.</p><p>Oswald’s drive to Jim’s place made him feel jittery. He was confused about why. What was he expecting to see anyway? Jim probably wasn’t even home. Working a case that picked his attention and seemed more important than Oswald. Hell, it didn’t even have to be a very interesting case. Oswald could imagine that many things in Jim’s life were more important to him than Oswald, so he didn’t even know why he even bothered going over to him. Perhaps it was a mistake? Perhaps he should just tell Gabe to turn over? Before he came to a decision they were already pulling over on the side of the street under Jim’s apartment. It was already dark outside and the lights in Jim’s apartment were on. That could only mean one thing: Jim stood him up for someone else. Oswald has seen Lee from the car one day. He’s supposed it wouldn’t be surprising if the two of them have decided to go back together. Maybe it’s better to not know?</p><p>“Boss? Do you want me to go with you?”</p><p>“No, Gabe, that won’t be necessary” Oswald got out of the car and sighed heavily.</p><p>So what if Jim got back together with Lee? It didn’t bother him, he mentally grunted. Truthfully, Oswald was saddened by the thought of Lee and Jim together. Besides the point, Jim should have joined him for dinner to talk! They were working on the case together! They were partners, Jim said so himself.</p><p>With the newfound resolve, Oswald walked up the stairs to the third floor of Jim’s rented apartment. Oswald quickly knocked on the door before he could talk himself out of it.</p><p>When Jim opened the door he was both surprised and terrified to see him.</p><p>“Oswald?! What are you…” He started, but the woman's voice caught into it, rendering him silent for a moment.</p><p>“Jim, honey, hurry up, dinner is ready!”</p><p>Oswald gave Jim a pointed look.</p><p>“Just a word of advice, old friend. If you change your mind about seeing someone they deserve to hear why you’re abandoning them at the last moment” He gave Jim a snarky smile and turned around to leave, deciding that Jim doesn’t deserve his attention. However, he couldn’t help but add: “Oh, and forget about the lobster you owe me. You owe me absolutely nothing, James.”</p><p>Jim sighed as if Oswald was the one troubling him and perhaps Oswald could let that pass if Jim didn’t call after him.</p><p>“Oswald, wait.”</p><p>Cobblepot paused in his steps, sighed, and turned to see the man standing in the doorway.</p><p>“No! You don’t get to do that, James. If you wish to talk to me about the case, you may reach my secretary. It seems you prefer that way of contacting me anyway.” Oswald took a quick pause before saying, “Perhaps I’ll find a few minutes to talk things through, but I wouldn’t hope for it”.</p><p>Oswald knew he was being just a tad ridiculous. He couldn’t ignore Jim entirely since they had to talk about the upcoming party at some point. However, at the moment Cobblepot felt too ashamed of his delusions. Yet again he’s realized that Ed was right. Oswald was stupid if he thought that Jim could ever like him in any way. Especially in a romantic way.</p><p>Oswald started walking towards the staircase. His cane banging on the floor louder than usual.</p><p>“Will you just listen to me?” Jim grabbed him by the arm turning him around forcefully. “I’m sorry, alright? I’m sorry that I canceled on you tonight and that I called the manor instead of reaching you personally, but…”</p><p>He was caught off yet again.</p><p>“James? Is everything alright?” Jim turned around to look at the woman standing in the doorway. Oswald followed his gaze. His eyes were met with the sight of a woman that could be his mother’s age. Jim’s got her blonde hair, cheekbones, and the color of her eyes. She was unmistakably related to James and judging by her age she could be either his mother or his aunt.</p><p>“Yes, mom.” A mother then. “I’ll just be a minute.”</p><p>His mother smiled but didn’t go back inside. Instead, she carefully observed Oswald.</p><p>“So you’re the town’s mayor?”, she watched him carefully. “I’ve seen you on the news.”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am. Oswald Cobblepot. A pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Gordon”</p><p>“Oh, please, call me Diane. After all, you are the man that my son has been hiding from me.”</p><p>Oswald opened his mouth, but he wasn’t sure what to say. Did Jim’s mother think they were a real couple? He looked at Jim to get some help but Jim was not as bewildered as he was. Only a grimace of exasperation.</p><p>“Mom, we’ve talked about this. I’m not hiding anything from you. This is only for the ca…”</p><p>“So will you be joining us for dinner, Mr. Cobblepot?” She interrupted Jim, her eyes never leaving Oswald.</p><p>“No, he…” Jim tried again and this time it was Oswald who interrupted him.</p><p>“Since I’m supposed to call you Diane, it’s only appropriate for you to call me Oswald.” He smiled at the woman earning himself a glare from James that he pretended not to notice. However, for a second, he shifted his gaze to Jim. You could see in Jim’s eyes that he felt anxious. Oswald knew the idea of him being in the same room as Jim’s mother unsettled the ex-cop. He was not stupid. He knew he was not welcomed here. </p><p>Oswald sadly smiled, looking back to the older woman. “But I’m afraid I won’t be joining you tonight. There are… important matters I must attend to, Diane”</p><p>“Important matters, you say? That’s strange. From what I’ve just heard, you were supposed to have dinner with my son earlier tonight.” There was a mischievous glint in her eyes. The same glint which appeared in Jim’s eyes. </p><p>“You’re a sneaky little minx, aren’t you? Eavesdropping on our conversation like that.” Oswald returned the mischievous glint of humor.</p><p>“Oswald.” Jim’s tone echoed a warning. Understanding Jim’s warning, Oswald returned a nod.</p><p>“It’s alright, Jim. I’ll be going. Once again, it was a pleasure to meet you, Diane. I hope you have a lovely time in Gotham.”</p><p>Diane smiled and allowed him to go. As he walked away, he heard Diane scold Jim for his rude behavior. She even tried to convince her son to stop Oswald. Perhaps in another life, he would be able to stay. Perhaps if he was someone else or if Jim was different, Oswald would be able to join them for dinner. Eat with them. Laugh with them. Listen to Jim's childhood stories told by his mother. Oswald so badly wanted to watch Jim’s face turn red with every embarrassing story. In another reality, he would be Jim’s partner... for real and not only because of a police case. Sadly, deep down Oswald knew that there was no other reality in where that was true. James Gordon was out of his reach. This evening taught Oswald that he was not suited for a life with Jim. He would never fit in, no matter how much he wanted it. It was time to stop fantasizing about a relationship with him. They needed to close this case so that Oswald's relationship with Jim would return to a professional one, only business.</p><p>On the way back home Oswald was feeling emotional. He was glad that Gabe chose not to say  anything to comfort him. That’s if he even noticed.</p><p>The next day Jim called him early in the morning. For a moment, Oswald so badly wanted to ignore it, however, they had to discuss their plans about the party this evening. He had to remind himself the reason for this plan was to catch a killer.</p><p>“Hello, James”</p><p>Oswald wanted to sound cold, but his voice wouldn’t cooperate. The principal emotion in his voice was bitterness.</p><p> “Hi.” Jim cleared his throat, but when he spoke again his voice still sounded coarse. “I wanted to apologize…”</p><p>“No need for that, old friend. Let’s just focus on the matters at hand, shall we?”</p><p>Jim was silent for a moment. Oswald had to close his eyes and take a quiet breath to calm himself down. Only one more night. One more night and then he will never have to think about what could have been and never will. This pretending thing was a bad idea. He knew that now, but all he could do was indulge in one more night. He’ll have to be Jim’s boyfriend for one last night and then it will be over. He will be able to move on from this fantasy.</p><p>“Alright…” Jim sounded uncertain. “When can we talk in person? I think we need to plan out exactly how we are going to go about this.”</p><p>“Can’t we plan it over the phone?”</p><p>And that’s what they did. They’ve talked it through. Oswald had to listen to Jim’s voice for another half an hour, but he felt grateful for the possibility of not seeing him. Unfortunately, the time seemed to fly on that day and before Oswald knew it, he had only half an hour left until Jim's arrival. Oswald was dreading the party. Not because of the killer, but because they will have to act as if they’re together for a few hours instead of a few minutes. Up to this point, Oswald could clearly see where the line was, or at least tried to see it, between reality and a dream. It was not so simple at times. The picture of them in the window of his guest bedroom was a reminder of that. However, every time Oswald forgot himself he quickly managed to put himself back on track. Now he wouldn’t be able to run away from James without raising questions. That knowledge paralyzed him.</p><p>“Just focus on the case. Catch the bastard and be done with it” he told himself, looking himself over in the mirror. “Do not let Jim distract you.”</p><p>He’s already distracting me! Oswald thought. </p><p>Oswald could not resist it. He was already thinking about Jim and they have not arrived at the party yet. Even though he was furious with the ex-detective, he was somewhat unsettled by the idea of letting Jim come to the party with one of his work suits. That is why he sent a new suit to Jim. He knew the suit would look good on him. When Jim arrived at the manor, he didn’t expect Jim to meet beyond his expectations. Jim looked amazing and it made Oswald tongue tied. Oswald could not stop looking at him. He admired those blue eyes and how they perfectly matched with his suit. Embarrassingly, his starring didn’t go unnoticed. Jim caught Oswald staring at him and sent a playful smile.</p><p>“Do you see something you like?” James asked him. Oswald was shocked by that comment. He continuously kept looking back at him on their car ride and it made him choke on his saliva. That was the last thing he expected to hear from James. Ever.</p><p>“Well, of course, I do. I picked the suit you’re wearing. If I didn’t like it, I would not have made you wear it.”</p><p>Jim snorted in response but didn’t share with Oswald what he found so funny.</p><p>When they arrived at the party, Jim got out of the car so quickly that one could think that the devil himself was chasing him. Before Oswald even thought about asking him what the rush was about, Jim opened the door for him and reached out. Oswald took his hand, even though he felt his stomach squeeze at the thought that Jim was only playing a role.</p><p>Once Oswald got out of the car, Jim did not let go of his hand. Instead, he held onto it as they walked to the main door. It felt wonderful. Oswald felt comfortable holding hands with Jim. Not once, has Oswald held hands with anyone in public. Well, his mother’s, yes, but that was different.</p><p>Perhaps James was afraid that somebody was watching them and that’s why he opted for holding Oswald’s hand. Oswald didn’t ask. Too afraid that if he did, the taller man would let go of him.</p><p>Gabe drove off, leaving them in the driveway of the house, in which the party took place. Gabe was supposed to join their backup that was led by Harvey Bullock. A few of the police officers were hidden in the car, covered by big trees of the forest and another two or three at the back of the house. In case something happened, Jim was going to give them a call. Until then, Jim and Oswald were on their own. They’ve both decided that the first thing to do is to find someone that resembles the picture. Then they’ll have to somehow engage in a conversation with him. Make him pick them as their next target. He’s never gone for both people at the same time. Always killed one before killing the other a few days later. He would kill his main victim first, the corrupted one, and then the partner, so it was Oswald who had to pick his attention. It was an easy plan, or at least sounded easy.</p><p>They went inside and met with the host, who greeted them with two shots of vodka. It was required of them to drink the shot of vodka to enter the party. If they decided not to, they would not be invited in. Jim laughed and complied with the request, already playing the part of someone who’s here for a good time. Oswald wrinkled his nose, staring at the shot as if it offended him. After a second of hesitation, he complied with the strange request as well. It wasn’t as if he had any other choice. When they handed the glasses back to the waiter, the host told them to follow him to the main area. The party appeared to be in full swing. The music was loud and the guests were overpowering the music by their chatter. They went into a huge room full of lights, colors, and people. Once they stopped, Jim’s hand yet again found his and this time Oswald jumped a little at the touch. Jim didn’t seem to notice that. He leaned down and Oswald felt his breath ghosting his ear.</p><p>“There are too many people. We’ll never find him if we stick together. How about we split and meet at the bar in an hour?” Jim whispered, smiling as if he was telling Oswald some secret that was only meant for his ears.</p><p>Oswald nodded and suddenly Jim moved away, his hand leaving Oswald’s. He disappeared in the crowd. Finally, Jim’s absence allowed him to breathe out with relief. Now that he realized his feelings for Jim, it was hard to focus on the task. As much as he tried to ignore his feelings, he never stopped loving James Gordon. It took all his strength to ignore his personal conflict. He had a murderer to find.</p><p>“Man, you scored big time.” The voice on his left startled him, but Oswald managed not to jump this time. He looked over to the man, leaning against a wall, for a second wondering if that’s how this ends: Oswald finds a murderer five seconds after entering a room.</p><p>Unfortunately, the man on his left didn’t resemble the man from the picture drawn by the sketch artist. This one had brown, long hair falling to his shoulders and a few days of stubble. He was quite handsome too. Objectively speaking, of course.</p><p>“What are you talking about?”</p><p>“The guy you came here with? Man, you’re lucky.”</p><p>Yeah, if only…</p><p>“Thank you, now, excuse me, but I need to be somewhere else.”</p><p>“Sure thing”. The man grinned at him and it somehow managed to unsettle Oswald even more than the idea that tonight he would draw out the killer. </p><p>Cobblepot ventured into the crowd, seemingly heading for the bar, but keeping his eyes open for anyone who resembled the portrait. He didn’t find anyone similar to the picture and Jim was nowhere to be seen either. This party was much bigger than both of them suspected it to be. There were probably many other people who ‘deserved’ to be killed according to the memo of the killer. Although Barnes was positive the killer would want to make Jim and Oswald his target, Oswald began to doubt if he would pick them. He recognized quite a few faces here already. Faces of the men working in his or other offices, but men in power nonetheless. All of them were corrupted. Oswald knew them even before he became the mayor.</p><p>At last, he got into the bar and ordered the finest top-shelf wine. By far, the best wine the bar had. Despite the fact that Jim would advise him to roam the room, Oswald was in the best spot. He was able to watch people on the dance floor and those who wanted to have a drink at the bar. The only guests he could not reach were the ones sitting on the sofa and leaning against the wall. Oswald was not worried because Jim was around there somewhere. He sat at the bar sipping on his wine for a long time, watching the crowd and wondering if Jim’s got more luck. Of course, he would never admit it, but sometimes he would forget about his patrol and get lost in thoughts about the man with whom he came here with. When that man at the door told Oswald that he’s lucky, Oswald for a short moment felt proud. He is here with James Gordon and he, Oswald Cobblepot, managed to catch Gordon’s attention. Everyone here, hell, everyone in Gotham knew he was with him. It felt somewhat powerful. The people were too gullible to easily believe in this. Oswald never doubted that they would. Still, he was surprised how little convincing they had to do. He’s seen quite a few articles questioning whether this relationship started before he was the King of Gotham, or perhaps much later. These articles fed Oswald's fantasies about Jim. Oswald knew that he should not read these articles, but he couldn’t help himself. He had wanted these articles to be real. He wished for it so much that it sometimes scared him. <em> It’s going to be fine... it ends tonight </em>, he told himself.</p><p>“Oswald” Jim was out of breath when he finally reached him at the bar. He looked sweaty. Oswald zeroed on Jim’s fringe, sticking to the man’s forehead, and struggling to not to think how hot James Gordon was. He did not mind how disheveled he looked. “I think I found him.”</p><p>That caught Oswald’s attention. He intensely looked into Jim’s blue eyes.</p><p>“You found him?”</p><p>“Yeah, I mean, I think so. I lost him in the crowd though. That lady just wouldn’t let me go. She kept making me dance and…”</p><p>Oswald rolled his eyes.</p><p>“So, where did he go?”</p><p>“Here, or at least I thought he was heading here…” Jim looked around, but judging by the puzzled look on his face, he didn’t find the person he was talking about.</p><p>Before Oswald opened his mouth to say that he didn’t see anyone who looked remotely similar to the man they were looking for, suddenly the lights started to flicker and the loud room became silent. Then a voice overcame the room:</p><p>“Ladies and gentlemen, I know you’re already enjoying yourselves plenty, however, as usual, I’ve prepared quite a few attractions for this evening and this time we will open with a small dance tournament! Also, since last year you’ve loved the magician so much, after the dancing tournament we will all witness some magic!”</p><p>The crowd cheered for the host, drowning out Jim’s groan.</p><p>“What is it with magicians? I don’t get it.” He’s said annoyed. “They aren’t entertaining at all.”</p><p>Oswald didn’t say anything. He wasn’t surprised that Jim associated the magicians with the worst kind of entertainment. Oswald remembered this whole incident with Jerome, Barbara, and Galavan all too well.</p><p>“I picked the pairs for the tournament myself and these are the following…” The host continued, but Oswald didn’t listen to him anymore. Instead, he focused on the man that came up to the bar on the other side. It was their man. He was sure of it. He looked much more sophisticated and classy tonight, but that was to be expected. </p><p>“Jim” Oswald grabbed the ex-detective by his arm and Jim raised his head to look at him. “He’s here.”</p><p>Instead of turning his head around as many other people would do, Jim stepped closer to Oswald, his eyes never leaving Penguin’s face. They agreed to play it off so the killer would not suspect they were onto him. They had to be cautious to not spook the killer. Still, Oswald never imagined Jim to take it as far as he did. Moments later, Jim was right next to him, invading his personal space. It took all of Oswald’s willpower to not look at Jim. It was his responsibility to stay on the suspect. Oswald held his breath when Jim leaned down to whisper in his ear:</p><p>“What is he doing? Is he watching us?”</p><p>“He’s sitting at the bar drinking. He’s not…” Oswald had to avert his eyes when the man at the other side of the bar raised his eyes from the drink he was looking at. Oswald could not stop himself from looking into Jim’s eyes. He knew it was a mistake even before he did it. Jim was as close to him as he was on the night of their first fake date in the guest bedroom of the manor. Perhaps even closer now since they were facing each other. Yet again, Oswald had to focus very hard on the task at hand. There was no time to think about Jim’s eyes or, even worse, his lips. “He just looked up, but I don’t think he saw me watching him.”</p><p>Jim licked his lips absentmindedly. Of course, that movement caught Oswald’s attention. He looked down only for a moment, quickly snapping his eyes back to Jim’s eyes, already panicking that there was no way Jim didn’t notice that. If he did though, Gordon didn’t let him know that. Instead, he looked away to the other side of the bar for a second and then back to Oswald.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s our guy. Now we just need to find the right moment for you to approach him without it being weird.”</p><p>Oswald nodded and averted his eyes from Jim. His desire to put his lips on Jim’s was becoming unbearable. He was rather close to arguing with himself whether it would be so bad if he did kiss him. After the night they wouldn’t be working with each other anymore. Also with so many people watching them, Jim wouldn’t punch him in the face. Oswald thought about it but was still too big of a chicken to do anything like this.</p><p>His eyes landed on the spot in which their suspect was seated. He was met with the other man’s heavy gaze. The killer was watching them intently. He didn’t avert his eyes when Oswald looked at him. Instead, he kept watching them.</p><p>“Uh, Jim?”</p><p>Oswald swallowed, following the man who now raised from his seat.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“I don’t think that will be necessary.”</p><p>Jim furrowed his eyebrows.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Well, he was watching us and now he’s making his way towards us.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As you could see, this time I focused on Oswald and his feelings. It's the first time that we get to see what is going on in Oswald's mind. :D<br/>And oh boy, I'm afraid he's got it bad for our Jim!<br/>Let me know your thoughts! Did you like the change?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Walking with a friend in the dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jim and Oswald finally meet the killer. The only question remaining is: are they going to catch him or is he going to catch them?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, everyone! :)<br/>As you may notice the ratings have changed. It's due to the fact that there is some violence in this chapter and I wanted to make sure that nobody felt bad because of it. It's not too graphic - but it's there, so keep that in mind while reading this chapter.<br/>As always I hope you'll like where it's going. </p><p>I also wanted to thank you all for all the encouraging comments! I don't think I could enjoy publishing this story as much as I do if it wasn't for all your kind words! You're the best! &lt;3<br/>Let me know what do you think about this chapter. I especially want to know if you liked the ending :D  &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>Edited by <span class="u"><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethom947/pseuds/ethom947">ethom947</a>.</span></p><p> </p><p>“Mayor Cobblepot! Fancy seeing you here!” The man greeted Oswald.</p><p>The man’s voice made a chill run down Jim’s spine.</p><p>“I was pretty surprised to read about you and…your acquaintance with James Gordon. That’s you if I’m not mistaken?” His eyes shifted to Jim. </p><p>Once their eyes met, Jim suddenly had an urgency to punch the man. He didn’t like the way the stranger spoke to Oswald.</p><p>“No, you’re not mistaken. And you are?” Jim answered through gritted teeth.  </p><p>“Keith Addams. A pleasure to meet you. Although, I must say I didn’t think you would have the guts to come here.”</p><p>“And why is that?”</p><p>“Well, someone in your line of work should stay away from criminals. Not walk among them.”</p><p>Jim was surprised by this straightforwardness. It seemed that this man felt very secure about himself. As if he didn’t think it was possible that the police might have a lead on him and that perhaps James Gordon’s appearance means that he should start running. Yet again, it astonished Jim how willingly people believed in his relationship with Oswald. </p><p>“I don’t know anything about these people. Whether they are criminals is not for me to decide. I only came here to have fun with my partner. Not that this is any of your business, asshole.”</p><p>Well, that was not what they agreed on saying to the man, but Jim suspected that at this point, it didn’t matter. Keith was clearly upset with them. It was highly unlikely that he won’t try to kill them.</p><p>“Ahh, of course, but your partner knows they are criminals, and you know exactly why he knows that. Don’t you feel ashamed? Dating this sociopathic malicious man…”</p><p>James knew the man was doing it on purpose. Keith was trying to provoke him, to make him angry, to make a mistake. Jim knew better than to be provoked by this nonsense, however, it was easier said than done. What the man said was what Gordon dreaded all along. Keith was divulging in Jim's fear; to hear the residents of Gotham's true judgment of Jim Gordon. He was saying aloud every single fear Jim had about his acquaintance, Oswald Cobblepot – not only due to their fake relationship.</p><p>Jim had already started moving towards the man’s direction. In his mind’s eye, he imagined himself punching the man in his face. Until Oswald moved ahead of him and laid his hand on Jim's chest to prevent him from making a mistake.</p><p>“No, James. He’s not worth it.”</p><p>Jim looked down at him and their eyes met.   </p><p>“And here I was, thinking that you were actually one of the good guys, James. But you’re just as corrupted as the rest of them, aren’t you? Tell me, how long have you been covering for him? Were you stealing the evidence so that he doesn’t go to jail? Or perhaps you steered some investigation in another direction just because he was involved? See, I know you were tasked with killing him, but you clearly didn’t do it. Is that when it all started?”</p><p>The man was shooting his questions now, clearly enjoying rattling Jim.</p><p>“That’s enough!” It was Oswald who spoke up. He turned around to look at the man and smiled at him in the most devious way. From that smile alone, Jim knew Oswald was outrageously furious with the man. If he could, he would probably slit his throat open right there. “You know what, Keith? You’re actually right. Bravo! He did all those things. Did a lot more actually. Why do you think I’m the mayor now? Why am I not in jail or dead? And it goes both ways as well. I mean, why do you think Jim was reinstated as a detective a few years ago even though the commissioner wanted to get rid of him? Why do you think Jim was so successful in finding evidence for corrupted cops back then, huh? You know how it is, my friend, one favor for you, one favor for me. After it’s all done, a little fucking didn't hurt. For a moment, it erased all those nasty little things we did for each other.” </p><p>Keith was shocked by this admission and Jim was as astonished, as well, however for an entirely different reason. Beforehand, Jim and Oswald agreed to admit to doing nasty, dirty and corrupted things for each other to make sure they were seen as potential victims. He was supposed to rattle the guy. Rub it in his face a little. What wasn’t the part of their plan was for Jim to hear all of the commotion. Jim only knew the basics of the objective. Oswald never told him what exactly he intended to say to the killer, and Jim didn’t want to know. Originally Jim was not supposed to be standing next to Oswald when he ranted about their "toxic relationship", but that plan quickly changed. Instead, here he was listening to Oswald reveal everything that Jim had feared about hearing for the past few years. Every time he would do something for Oswald or every time Oswald would do something for him, Jim would have nightmares about someone learning about it and throwing it in Jim’s face at the worst possible moment. When Barnes started working at the precinct, Jim was terrified about him finding out about Jim’s acquaintance with Cobblepot for weeks. That was part of the reason why he was trying to push Oswald away from himself. He couldn’t be Oswald’s friend even if he wanted to. And obviously, he didn’t want to. Oswald was a criminal, and Keith was right about one thing: Jim was a cop, a detective, and he shouldn’t in any way acquaint himself with people like Cobblepot. Despite that, Jim had to admit that he cared for the guy.  In a strange and twisted way that he didn’t understand. Jim was never going to admit it, but there were moments where he liked Oswald. Although, not at that particular moment. “The real question is, what are you going to do about it? I’ll tell you. You can do NOTHING. So get out of my sight before I arrange for you to be thrown out of here.” Oswald spitted out.</p><p>If looks could kill, Cobblepot would probably drop dead on the spot. Keith Addams stormed away yet again, disappearing from their view. Jim moved to go after him, but Oswald stopped him with a firm hand on his chest.</p><p>“No. Let him go. He needs to make a plan on how he’s going to take us.” Jim nodded, even though he wasn’t as certain about it as Oswald was. He thought that perhaps it would be better to follow their suspect, however, that could jeopardize their investigation. The last thing they needed was for Keith to realize that Jim is not here for the party, but him. “Now, how about we take a seat and watch the tournament, old friend?”</p><p>Jim stopped watching the crowd and instead shifted his gaze to the man standing in front of him.</p><p>“I thought we agreed that you shouldn’t call me that in public,” Jim argued, but followed Oswald back to the bar.</p><p>“Oh, my bad. I mean <em>boyfriend.</em>” Jim snorted at how Oswald said it and ordered himself a coke.</p><p>When Oswald gave him a look and took a sip of his wine, Jim explained: “No drinking at work.”</p><p>“But you’re not at work. You’re at the party, Jim.”</p><p>Jim rolled his eyes.</p><p>“You’re not getting me drunk tonight, Cobblepot”, he said jokingly and Oswald smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes though. The smaller man sighted, looking at the dancing couples and Jim watched him for a moment longer before shifting his attention to the couples as well. He thought back to the evening before when he had to cancel on Oswald. He clearly offended him, perhaps even hurt him in a way, but Oswald didn’t want to talk about it afterwards. Perhaps for the better since Jim didn’t really know what to say. His mother visited him out of the blue. She didn’t even tell him she was coming over and he was rather annoyed with it, but what could he do? Throw her out? Not really. He had to cancel, even though, ironically enough, he would rather eat dinner with Cobblepot. His mother came over, because after the conversation they’ve had over the phone she felt the need to talk to him in person. She was worried. After this whole mess with Nygma he hasn’t even visited her once. He refused to tell her what happened between him and Lee and now, all of a sudden, he was dating a MAN, and a mayor of the city too. To say that she didn’t believe him when he tried telling her that it was only for the case was an understatement. She outwardly called him a liar and then made him sit through the lecture about ‘how to deal with emotions when you’re having a sexuality crisis’. As a psychology professor his mother thought she knew exactly what he was going through. Of course, Oswald coming over and Jim not even trying to get him to stay only made the lecture longer and more painful. By the end of it Jim was so tired of trying to explain to her that they were working on a case and that he is not going through any crisis. Finally, he simply admitted that she was right. Only after he promised her that he would visit her in the suburbs and that he would bring Oswald with him.  Afterwards, she finally let him be.</p><p>As he was thinking about his mother, the dancing tournament came to an end and the magician appeared on the stage nearby. He presented quite a few tricks of his own and then started taking volunteers. Jim only watched him for a moment, assessing if he’s seen his face before and if there’s anything spooky about him. When it turned out that the magician was an ordinary man with long, brown hair and a stubble, Jim averted his attention and started watching the crowd in the hopes of seeing their killer again. He wasn’t paying a lot of attention to Oswald during all that time. Only when the magician said Oswald’s name, did Jim look back to the man.</p><p>“Does he want you to go up the stage?”</p><p>“Yes, I think so,” Oswald said, moving off the bar stool.</p><p>“No.” This time it was Jim, who stopped Oswald by putting a hand on his chest. “Just say no.”</p><p>Oswald laughed.</p><p>“Oh, Jim, but look, the whole room is watching. What’s the worst thing that can happen? He will puff me out of existence?”</p><p>The magician apparently noticed what was happening near the bar and laughed loudly.</p><p>“Aww, I see, the boyfriend doesn’t want our mayor to participate! Oh, don’t worry, sister, I will take care of your mister!”</p><p>The crowd laughed and Jim smiled through gritted teeth.</p><p>“That’s not funny, Oswald. You know what happened to…”</p><p>“This is different. He’s a normal magician, Jim. I’ll be back in a second,”</p><p>“Perhaps a kiss goodbye will calm him down?” the magician commented again and the laughter erupted again. Oswald squeezed Jim’s arm and went to the stage. “Oh, no kiss then?” The magician sounded disappointed.</p><p>As they quickly found out, ‘the puff me out of existence’ joke was on point since the next trick was the disappearing one, and Jim could only stand there and watch Oswald disappearing behind the curtain. He knew that the next time the curtain was pushed aside, Oswald would be gone. Still, when that happened, he felt uneasy. Worry settled in his stomach for no reason, and it wasn’t until the magician informed the party that perhaps they should return the mayor to his worried boyfriend that Jim found himself relaxing a little. It was okay. Oswald will be back in the second, and then they will try to find their killer because they’ve already been here for too long. They should try to lure him out. Present him the perfect opportunity to take Oswald only for Jim and other police officers to burst in and arrest him. One of the magician’s assistants started hitting on the drums, and another little helper was already holding onto the curtain, and then… they pulled it aside and, Oswald wasn’t there. The magician looked worried only for a second.</p><p>“Oh, I think our mayor didn’t hear us. Let’s make the drums louder so that he knows that it’s time to come back.” They covered the spot in which Oswald disappeared a minute ago. It was probably done on purpose. To play on the audience’s expectations, Jim thought, watching the curtain intently. This time when the curtain was pulled aside Oswald still didn’t reappear, and judging by the magician’s face, this was not supposed to happen. “Oh, Mr. Mayor, playing with us, I see?”</p><p>Jim moved from away from the bar and started to walk towards the stage. He closely watched the magician perform the same trick from before, only this time when the magician pulled the curtain, there was nothing to reveal.</p><p>“Where the hell is he?!” Jim shouted, now worried for real.</p><p>“Oh, but I can’t tell you, the magician never reveals his…” The magician didn’t get to finish that sentence. Jim got to him and grabbed him by his lapels.</p><p>“I’m asking again! Unless you want me to arrest you, tell me where did he go!”</p><p>“Okay, okay…” the magician raised his hands and then whispered so that only Jim could hear him “Under us. There is a trapdoor on the stage. It opened, and our assistant took him down. I don’t know why he’s not here, I swear.”</p><p>“Show me!” He let go of the magician, and the man did as he was told. He raised the trapdoor that was situated in the box in which Oswald was standing. Without thinking, Jim stepped down into it. Few feet away lay the body of a young man. Jim quickly got to him and checked his pulse. He was alive. Probably only knocked down.</p><p>Jim walked back to the part of the stage with a trapdoor.</p><p>“There’s a man lying in here. I think it’s your assistant. He’s alive, but you should take him out of here and put him into bed. He should probably be checked by a doctor.  Now, is there any other exit?”, he asked the magician that was now looking down on him.</p><p>“I have no idea. My assistant went through the trapdoor when everyone was busy watching the dancing tournament.”</p><p>“But I know” the host bent over to look at Jim “If you look to the right, to these boxes over there, there is another trapdoor. It leads to the basement and a winery. You can also enter them both by the door in the back of my kitchen, do you want me to lead you there?”</p><p>Jim thought about it for a second. Perhaps it would be a better idea. The killer wouldn’t want to run away from the house through this door. He would know that Jim would go after him, so he would have to use another door.</p><p>“Alright, lead the way.” Jim stepped out of the confined space and looked to the magician. “I’ll need someone to watch this entrance until my people arrive. Can you do that?”</p><p>“Sure thing, man. Sure thing.”</p><p>Jim nodded and then followed the host out of the ballroom. On his way to the basement, he called Harvey to let him know that Oswald was taken by their killer and that they’re probably both still in the house, but he will need at least a few of Harvey’s men for backup in the house. Harvey told him to not go down to the basement on his own, to wait a few minutes, but Jim was already opening the doors to the basement. He couldn’t wait. Not when Oswald’s life was at stake.</p><p>“Is there any possibility that he can run away from that basement? Any other exit?”</p><p>“Out of the house?” The host asked, and when Jim nodded, he shook his head. “No, it’s not possible.”</p><p>“Okay, can you wait here for other officers? Tell them that I went in there, alright?”</p><p>“Yes, of course.”</p><p>The host was rather cooperative, which should have surprised Jim because he never wanted to reveal anything about the party to the police. From the beginning, he did not agree to the investigation, which was the reason for their ‘fake boyfriend’ plan. However, at this moment, Jim was only thinking about finding Oswald. It was his priority. Perhaps if he gave it some more thought, he would not have believed the host.</p><p>Jim stepped down to the basement, pulled out his gun, and raised it. He did not expect the attack to come from behind. He felt an instant pain shoot through his head causing him to become dizzy. Soon, everything went black.</p><p>When he came to consciousness, he was tied up, and his head was throbbing in pain. The first thing he registered, except for the fact that he couldn’t really move, were hushed voices of two men.</p><p>“Do you even realize what you’ve just done? What came over you? To go after a cop and a mayor?!”</p><p>“He’s an ex-cop” Jim recognized Keith’s voice. “You didn’t hear them, Josh! They were bragging about their criminal activities.”</p><p>“I’ll have at least a dozen police officers knocking on the doors in a minute! How do you imagine we’re going to get out of this?!”</p><p>“Simple. We’re going to kill them. Nobody knows about this passage. They won’t find it. You know they won’t. We will keep the bodies here for a few weeks. Hell, maybe months or years, who cares? Nobody will ever find them, and they won’t have any evidence that you helped out. I can stay here for some time too, and you will live your life as usual. The only thing you need to do now is to keep them away from the basement. I mean, the walls are surely thick enough to conceal the noise, but to be sure…”  Keith sounded as if he had it all planned out, and that unsettled Jim. Where were they? Was the secret passage as well hidden as Keith thought? He said that they are going to kill them. Good. That means that Oswald is still alive. But how are they going to get out of this?</p><p>“How do you imagine I do that? The cop called them and told them that you’re in here. Okay, doesn’t matter. I need to go. You do whatever you have to. I will deal with you later” The host, now Jim recognized his voice too, started walking away. Jim heard his footsteps. Before he went out of the place they were currently in, however, Keith called after him:</p><p>“Hey, Josh?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“You know I love you, right?”</p><p>“I know, Keith. I love you too, but you really fucked up this time.” Josh, the host, clicked something, and Jim heard a noise that he couldn’t interpret. Something heavy was moving. Could that be a door?</p><p>Jim opened his eyes. He was facing down. The ground was covered in stone as if it was some kind of a cave and not a regular basement. They talked about secret passages. That meant that there was something else here. A basement, a vinery, and something else hidden.</p><p>Jim raised his head a little trying to locate Keith. He was nowhere in his sight, so Jim raised his head a little more, ignoring the throbbing pain in his head. It looked as if they were in some kind of a bunker. An old one. There was no floor, only a naked stone. The walls and ceiling were similar. It had to have another room if the corridor on Jim’s left was any indication. Perhaps that was where Keith went. Oswald was nowhere in sight too and that was what troubled Jim the most. What if Keith went to the other room to kill him?</p><p>“Oswald!” Jim shouted without thinking it through. “Oswald, where are you!?”</p><p>The laughter was his only response. It wasn’t Oswald’s laughter either. Keith went into the room, wearing a doctor’s uniform. Oh, Jim now remembered that the report said that their killer might be a doctor because he knew exactly where and how to cut.</p><p>“I’m afraid our mayor won’t be joining us just yet.” He smiled at Jim in the most unnerving way. “Should I kill you now or make him watch? What do you think?” Jim furrowed his brows. He had trouble focusing, and apparently, Keith could see that because he didn’t wait around for Jim to answer. Instead, he continued: “Ah, you’re probably wondering why do I want to kill you first, right? After all, seeing how you’ve been clearly investigating me, we both know that I always kill the partner after killing the big fish. But see, here I’m not so sure if any of you is just a partner. I know, Penguin is the king of the criminal underworld and now of the corrupted world too since he’s become the mayor. But you, James Gordon, you’re not just covering for him. You’re not just closing your eyes on what he’s doing. You’ve been actively helping him. Exchanging favors, that’s what he called it, am I right? And you were a police officer! You should have him arrested the first time you laid your eyes on him! Gotham is sick, and you are one of the people that should help it recover! You should be cleaning it of criminals, but instead, you’re a criminal yourself. And you’ve been sleeping with one too. You disgust me, James Gordon.”</p><p>Jim was actually grateful for all that talking. The longer the other man was taking, the more time Jim had to figure out how to get out of this situation. He was obviously dragged here from somewhere, but all he could see was a corridor on his right and a wall on his left. Was it possible that Josh dragged him through that wall? Was it the secret passage they were talking about? How did they open it though? There was no lever insight. At least not one that Jim could see from the place he was seated at.</p><p>“What? You’re not going to argue with me anymore? You’ve been pretty inclined to it before. What happened, James? Cat got your tongue?”</p><p>James looked back to Keith, who was now covering in front of him.</p><p>“If you think you’re any better than the rest of the criminals than you’re wrong.”</p><p>“Oh, but I am. I’m cleaning Gotham.”</p><p>“You’re murdering people. That’s what you’re doing. If you really wanted to clean Gotham you would turn them to the GCPD.”</p><p>“And what? Wait for them to be left out because they know someone who knows someone? No, Jim. GCPD is not doing its job anymore and you know why? Because of people like you. Because of people, who help criminals.”</p><p>“I don’t help criminals.”</p><p>“You don’t? So all that stuff that our lovely mayor was talking about is not true? Tell me, James, and who knows, maybe I’ll let you out.”</p><p>“He was only trying to lure you out. We both were. We’re not even in a relationship. It was all a lie made up just to catch you.” That wasn’t the whole truth, but if he could buy himself more time then he was going to lie through his teeth. Keith wasn’t going to let them go, even if that was true. Penguin was still, well, Penguin. And since Jim was onto him, Keith couldn’t let him live.</p><p>“Oh, how lovely! You almost succeeded! Only that I am the one who caught you instead. So tell me, if it’s not true, then why did the commissioner really reinstate you back in the day?”</p><p>Jim took a bigger breath.</p><p>“I found dirt on him and told him I would use it against him if he didn’t.”</p><p>“Oh, did you now, or was it your friend that visited him? See, it’s not that I don’t want to believe you, James, but make a guess, how many people claimed that they didn’t do these things that I was accusing them off before I killed them?” Jim didn’t answer, and Keith apparently didn’t like that, because he all but shouted: “How many, James?!”</p><p>“I don’t know. Everyone?”</p><p>“Yes. But then, when they’ve realized that I wouldn’t let them go, they would shout out all the bad things they’ve done, begging me to let them go, promising that they will change. I wonder what you will be shouting to me when I torture you.”</p><p>“How about I shout now and get the GCPD here?”</p><p>“Shout all you want. I doubt they’ll hear. The walls aren’t that thin, James. Oh, I think I know what I will do with you! Brilliant!” Keith moved away and left him alone for another moment. James was racking his brain, looking for anything he could do. He tested the ropes that were restraining him. Tried pulling on them. They were pretty tight. He would need a knife to get out of them. A pocket knife would be nice, he thought just as Keith went back into the room with the small table on wheels. The medical table. With all the medical devices that looked strangely terrifying to Jim all of a sudden.</p><p>“Will you take my eyes out? Cut off my ears?” Jim asked Keith, and the other man smiled.</p><p>“No, I won’t. I wanted to, but you two… you’re upsetting me, that’s why I’ve decided to show you exactly why you should have never let Oswald Cobblepot walk freely. Since you’re claiming that you’re not actually in a romantic relationship, what I asked of him shouldn’t be as hard for him as I thought it would. Although seeing as he is who he is and has no morals, I don’t think it would be a problem to him either way. Let’s see how much Mr. Cobblepot really loves you, shall we?” Keith moved away again and left the room before Jim managed to understand what he was talking about. Jim had no idea how much time he had, but he was pretty sure that if he didn’t come up with a plan soon, he will be in a lot of trouble. Jim struggled against the ropes, trying and failing to loosen them up. He was ready to give up when the table that Keith wheeled in caught his attention again. Perhaps if he could somehow reach it, he could use one of the sharp objects to free himself. Jim tried jumping, and the chair moved an inch towards the table. Another movement almost sent him to the ground. His heartbeat quickened as he tried to keep the chair from falling to the ground and destroying his plan. Luckily, he managed to do that. Jim took a deep breath, steadying himself. Just two more jumps and he will be close enough to bend and take one of the objects into his mouth. Suddenly Jim heard a loud bang and a groan that sounded suspiciously familiar to him.</p><p>
  <em> Oswald. </em>
</p><p>Jim rushed in to jump again, convinced that he had to get to Oswald at that moment, or else something really bad was going to happen. Keith said that he had a plan for them. He would just kill Oswald, right? No. Jim couldn’t think about that. He had to get to Oswald before anything like that could happen.</p><p>A muffled scream shot through the silence, and that was enough to get Jim to move again. He jumped again, and although the table was not as close as he would like it to be, Jim tried reaching one of the hot knives lying on the smooth surface. He pushed himself forward and down so that he could lean in and take the knife in his mouth. It was still too far away, so he tried moving the chair just a little more in the direction of the table. The chair wobbled under him, but Jim ignored it. After the last scream died down, the corridor went awfully quiet, and the longer it stayed, the more it terrified Jim. He couldn’t help but imagine what Keith would do to Oswald if Oswald kept talking to him the way he did back in the ballroom. Jim wouldn’t put that behind Oswald to keep offending and taunting their murderer. And what if Keith lost his patience and decided to get rid of the nuisance? Jim groaned at the thought, straining himself even more to reach the table. The ropes cut painfully into his flesh, but he ignored it as well. Jim had no luck though. The next time he tried leaning in, the chair wobbled again, and this time he didn’t manage to steady it in time. His head hit the table sending it to the floor with him. The noise of the table, hitting the ground echoed in the empty space and soon the sound of the knives followed as well. Jim groaned when his head yet again hit the ground. The world around him twirled, and for a second, he felt so dizzy, he had to squeeze his eyes shut. His head was throbbing from the impact, and he was ready to give up when he moved his fingers a little in an uncontrolled reflex and felt the cold surface of an object.</p><p>
  <em> Yes! </em>
</p><p>He thought triumphantly, taking the object into his hand and turning it around in his fingers, pressing on it gently to locate the blade. He found it and slipped it between the rope and his hand, trying to maneuver it with his fingers. He pressed it to the rope and tried moving it. </p><p>Up and down the blade went. </p><p>Could it even work or was he wasting his time? </p><p>Up and down.</p><p>The sound of footsteps echoed in the corridor. The sound echoed in his throbbing head. It was abnormally loud. Enhanced by the empty space.</p><p>Up and down. </p><p>
  <em> Faster.   </em>
</p><p>He had to do it faster.</p><p>Up and down. </p><p>The blade slipped through his fingers and cut through the inside of his hand. Jim hissed! There was no time to stop. Jim turned the blade around again and pressed it back to the rope, ignoring the pain.</p><p> Up and down. </p><p>He hauled back into the sitting position. For a moment, the world was just a blur.  He had to blink a few times before his eyes caught up. Keith’s enraged face appeared before him. The man was saying something, but all Jim heard was ringing in his ears. The ringing only grew louder.</p><p>Up and down, the blade went. Keith couldn’t see it from where he was standing. The ropes kept it covered. Still, Jim had a chance, or at least that’s what he thought for the few short moments before the sudden pain shot through his thigh. Jim gritted his teeth, but it didn’t stop the scream from bubbling out of his throat. He looked down to see one of the surgical knives sticking out of his leg until he heard another voice.  The voice was muffled, and this time Jim didn’t understand it. Gordon knew he was suffering from a concussion, but he did not understand it because he simply did not know what he was hearing. Jim raised his head to find the source of the voice and was soon met with the huge scared eyes of Oswald Cobblepot. Keith must have pushed Oswald in here in a wheelchair. Perhaps that’s why he’s taken so long. Oswald had a bloody nose, there was blood in his hair and on his torn up shirt and a few scratches on his face that didn’t look accidental. He looked as if he fiercely fought his attacker. Still, he ended up tied up to a wheelchair and with his tie pushed in his mouth so that he couldn’t talk.</p><p>“Alright. I hope that now we all know one thing: nobody is running away on me tonight.” Keith went back to Oswald and, against his protest, Keith wheeled him a little closer to Jim. Now they were facing each other. “Okay, Oswald, I will take the tie out so that you can tell Jim what exactly is going to happen here.” </p><p>Then he took the tie out of Oswald’s mouth. For a second, Jim thought that Oswald would start threatening the guy. The hateful glance showing on his face, the desire to kill evident in his eyes. Then Oswald locked his eyes with Jim’s again, and the look on his face shifted into regret.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, James. I should have known that this magic thing was a setup…” Oswald started, but Keith interrupted him by stabbing Oswald in his left arm. Oswald cried in pain, and Jim gritted his teeth, anger building up inside him. </p><p>“I told you, no chit chat, Cobblepot! Just business!”</p><p>Even though he was definitely in pain, Oswald still managed to roll his eyes, clearly annoyed with Keith. </p><p>“Alright, alright. No chit chat. As you wish.” He locked his eyes with Jim again. “He wants me to stab you repetitively before he gets his way with you. I’m not supposed to kill you, just injure you rather badly. He also promised to let me go, if I do, can you believe that?”</p><p>Jim snorted.</p><p>“That’s ridiculous.”</p><p>“Well, not exactly.  Keith here wants me to make all of this disappear. He wants me to cover for him so that the GCPD will never find any evidence of him killing you. And I will clear his files. Make his portrait disappear too. He won’t kill me, but he wants to make sure that we have an...<em>understanding. </em>I need to prove to him that he can trust me..”</p><p>Jim furrowed his eyebrows, not really getting the idea. Did Keith think Oswald would stab Jim? Was he really stupid enough to untie Oswald and give him a knife? The answer came quicker than Jim thought. Keith moved to the medical table, pulled it back from the ground, and set it near Jim again. </p><p>“You’ve made quite a mess, Jim.” Keith told him, clearly annoyed, and started gathering the knives from the ground. Jim watched him only for a second before turning his attention back to Oswald. </p><p>“Are you alright?” Jim couldn’t help but mouth to Oswald. Oswald snorted in response, earning himself a glare from Keith.</p><p>“What’s so funny, Cobblepot?” Oswald didn’t answer. Keith came back behind Oswald. This time he was holding a gun in his hand. Jim’s gun. Keith put it to Oswald’s head and started untying one of Oswald’s hands with his right hand. “Remember, if you try anything, I swear I will shoot you. I don’t care what you can do for me. The second you try something, you’re dead.”</p><p>Oswald was completely still for the whole process. He was still when Keith moved out of his reach. What stayed in Oswald’s reach, however, was the table with all the sharp objects on it. Well, not all, since one of the knives was still hidden in Jim’s hand. He tried adding some pressure to the ropes, but to cut through them, he would need something bigger than this. The knife did a pretty good job of loosening them, but nothing more. Jim was at the total loss of ideas. Oswald couldn’t exactly do anything to Keith with the knives that he was presented with either. After all, Keith was still aiming Jim’s gun at Oswald’s head. What Oswald could do, however, was to stab Jim. That and only that.</p><p>Their eyes met, and even though Jim still couldn’t believe in what was happening, he could see tears form in Oswald’s eyes. Was Oswald really going to stab him? It looked like he didn’t have a choice, after all. </p><p>“Oswald.” He started, but stopped, at the loss of words.</p><p>Oswald took one of the sharp objects in his hand. It just happened to be a meat cleaver.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Jim. It’s going to hurt. I would stab your ankle if I could, but I can’t reach there.”</p><p>“Oswald, don’t…” Jim started, but before he could say anything else Oswald raised the sharp object and took it down to his right arm. It did hurt, but not as much as Jim expected. The meat cleaver only scraped the external side of his arm. Jim noticed Oswald slowly move the meat cleaver down his wrist when it cut through the ropes. It was then that he understood! Before Oswald stabbed him, he said it. His ankle. Jim had another gun in there. Oswald saw him put it in his boot. If Josh and Keith didn’t think about it, then it was still there. He all but ripped his hand away from the chair in the same second that Oswald stopped cutting through it, the knife that he was using to cut through the ropes falling to the ground alongside the ropes. He bent over to reach for his gun. Before he managed to straighten up, he heard the gunshot, but Jim didn’t focus on it. He located Keith and fired the small gun, hitting the man in his chest. He fired again and again until the man landed on the ground. Only then did he take a huge intake of breath and shifted his gaze to Oswald, fearing. He was holding onto his bleeding arm, but the quick once-over was enough to assess that no other damage was done.</p><p>“You alright?” He asked the smaller man again and this time Oswal simply nodded. “What you just did was fucking mental, you know that, right? He would have shot you straight in the head! You didn’t even know if the gun was still there!” Jim was talking to him while untying the ropes on his other hand and his legs.</p><p>“I did. If you know where to look, you can always spot a gun on someone.”</p><p>“Are you telling me that you came up with that plan in these few minutes after he wheeled you in here? What if I didn’t have a gun? If they took it?”</p><p>He finished untying himself and moved to help Oswald. Jim kneeled in front of him, flinching a little when the pain shot through his leg. The knife was still sticking out of his thigh and Jim wondered if it would be better to wait for the medics to pull it out or just do it by himself.</p><p>“I don’t know, Jim. I guess I would just have to stab you repetitively.”</p><p>That made Jim stop. He looked up from where he was kneeling in front of Oswald, fighting with the ropes that Keith tied around Oswald’s legs. He was met with Oswald’s warm gaze again. The look was filled with adoration. The one that always made Jim want to run away. This time, however, it didn’t. Instead, it made him snort with amusement and shake his head. Keith wanted to show him that there was ‘no friendship amongst thieves’. That in the end, Oswald will always be just a criminal with no morals and that if he had to make a decision he would always choose himself. Betray others for his own gain. And there were times when Jim believed in that as well. But what Keith managed to show him was that, in fact, perhaps, Oswald was someone that Jim could trust with his life.</p><p>Jim finished untying the ropes and staggered to the corpse on the ground to retrieve his gun. Before walking back to Oswald, he’s checked the pulse. The guy was dead. Not the outcome Jim hoped for. Still better than one of them. Jim walked back to Oswald. Without another word, he put his arm under Oswald’s uninjured hand and around his back to help him get up from the chair. </p><p>“Jim, your leg…”</p><p>“I’ll be fine. Come on.” Jim winced a little when Oswald leaned against him, but when Oswald started protesting again, trying to pull away from him, Jim squeezed him tighter. </p><p>As it turned out, the wall did move when they pulled the lever hidden between the two walls. It opened before them, and suddenly they were met with many flashlights and voices that came from police officers that were looking for them. They explained to Harvey what had transpired, and Harvey almost instantly sent people upstairs to arrest Josh Winningham for compliance in murder. The medics were already at the scene, and they took Oswald with them to the ambulance to dress his wound. Jim was assisted in it as well. Nobody seemed to listen to him when he insisted that he only needed a bandage. As it turned out no real damage was done to Oswald’s arm. The bullet went straight through Oswald’s arm and he needed stitches, but apart from that, he was alright. He suffered from some blood loss and the doctors wanted to talk him into going to the hospital, but he refused. Jim assumed the medics wouldn’t let him refuse, in case there was anything to worry about. Still, Oswald didn’t leave after they dressed his wounds. Instead, he sat down on one of the beds in an ambulance and even though he tried to do it discreetly, Jim was aware of every worried glance that Oswald was sending his way. </p><p>“Enough with the starring. What is it, Oswald?” Jim finally managed to catch Oswald mid-starring. He thought that Cobblepot would pretend that he has no idea what Jim is talking about. Instead, he shrugged and said: </p><p>“I know I’m okay, but are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital, Jim? That wound doesn’t look good…” Oswald nodded in the direction of his leg. Even though Jim’s injuries were more severe than Oswald’s, he didn’t want to spend the night at the hospital. It wasn’t the first time he’s had concussion, and it definitely wasn’t the first time that he’s had his body pierced with a sharp object. He knew the drill. There was nothing they could do for him at the hospital: he could stuff himself with the painkillers at home as well. He just needed a few stitches, nothing more. When Jim didn’t answer him for a long moment, Oswald added silently: “I don’t think you should be alone tonight, Jim.” </p><p>“I’ll be fine, Oswald. Really. Stop worrying.” </p><p>It was actually rather peculiar: Oswald worrying about him so openly and Jim carrying enough to reassure him. Jim would have never thought that things could be so calm between them. Perhaps it was the blood loss talking, but at that moment, Jim felt strangely at peace with Oswald. </p><p>“I should have known that the host knew about everything. It only makes sense.” Jim commented when the medics finally let them go. Jim didn’t let the paramedics convince him to stay overnight at the hospital. He wanted to sleep in a normal bed that night, not a hospital one. </p><p>They walked back to the house, arm in arm. There were a lot of confused people left in that ballroom that probably needed to hear some explanation of what had transpired on that evening, and Jim thought it would be best if they were the ones to tell them. Oswald agreed.</p><p>“You couldn’t have known, Jim. Now come on. I just want to tell them the news already and have Gabe drive us back home.”</p><p>Jim didn’t comment on how Oswald said “home” and not “homes” as if he expected Jim to stay at the manor. He could have asked about it, of course, but he was strangely comforted by the idea of not sleeping alone in his apartment. So instead, he followed Oswald back onto the stage, on which the whole mess began. As they would later find out, the magician was approached by their killer, given a hundred dollars, and asked to take Oswald Cobblepot to the stage in one of his tricks. It didn’t seem like a big favor, so he did it.</p><p>Now though, they came up the stage, and Oswald calmly explained to the crowd what they had witnessed today. He told them about the investigation and that they were here undercover. He told them that the host, Josh Winningham, helped cover up for the killer, because, <em>apparently</em>, they were lovers. He also told them that he’s very sorry that their evening is ruined, but that at least they are safe, and the notorious killer was stopped. That last bit made them cheer loudly and clap their hands for them. Oswald was all smiles even though Jim could see how pale his face had become because of the blood loss. Jim expected that after that they would just go home. Harvey already drove off with Winningham and only a few officers stayed with them to make sure that everyone leaves the property and that nothing is stolen. Jim was already moving away from the microphone and off the stage when someone in the crowd shouted:</p><p>“Now kiss!”</p><p>Before Jim could make as much as one more step the whole room erupted with “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”. Jim looked back to Oswald who looked as surprised by the chanting. He didn’t reveal to them that they weren’t really a couple. However, Jim didn’t expect them to actually demand that they kiss. Seeing as Oswald was at the lack of words Jim walked back to him and to the microphone, which made the crowd become even louder. He leaned over Oswald and told them:</p><p>“No kissing tonight, guys. Sorry. Not really in…” He’s never finished this sentence. Oswald grabbed him all of a sudden by his arm turning him around so that they would face each other. Jim wanted to ask what he’s doing, but Oswald was acting quick, as if he was chased by someone. The smaller man grabbed his tie and all but crushed into Jim, bringing their lips together for a kiss. Jim froze for a second. Not able to move, to push the man away or respond in any other way. The strength that Oswald put into crushing their lips together could probably make their kiss quite brutal, but Oswald didn’t push it more. He only touched Jim’s lips and stayed there for a second, pressing their lips together, but not trying to deepen the kiss. Jim thought to himself that Oswald’s lips are strangely soft and then, for reasons unknown even to Jim himself, James Gordon pressed back, making Oswald stumble a little back. Jim stumbled with him, ignoring the pain in his leg, as they tried to catch their balance without breaking the kiss.</p><p>When he was replaying the kiss in his head later that night, Jim wasn’t able to tell who deepened the kiss at last. The only thing he knew was that one moment they were just crushing their lips together and a second later he had his tongue in Oswald’s mouth, fighting with him for dominance. Jim was hit with a wave of warmth that was followed by desire and all he knew in that moment was that he didn’t want to stop kissing the man. He crushed into him, bringing not only their lips together, but also their bodies. Pressing into him in the search for this pleasurable warmth that he felt coming off of Oswald. He didn’t think about it, just acted on his needs, and what he needed, apparently, was to have Oswald as close as he could. It wasn’t until he heard people clapping that Jim was hit with the realization: He was making out with Oswald Cobblepot. And in a room full of strangers as well. He all but ripped himself away from the smaller man and fled the stage, stumbling a little on the stairs, but not stopping. He ran outside, his leg throbbing with pain. He was not brave enough to look at the other officers in the eyes while passing them. He couldn’t comprehend what just transpired. Why would he ever allow for that to happen? He took a few intakes of breath, trying and failing to stabilize his rapid heartbeat. When he closed his eyes, he could see the scene that they just caused in there, and that almost made him panic. He opened his eyes and turned around on his heels. He had to get out of here, but he came here with Oswald. By Oswald’s limo. Suddenly the idea of sleeping at the manor felt like the worst nightmare to him. He couldn’t possibly look Oswald in the eyes after what had just happened in there. What was Oswald even thinking? Why would he… No, Jim couldn’t think about that. He couldn’t because he knew exactly why Oswald kissed him. Just as he knew what the unsettling looks of adoration that Oswald was sometimes giving him meant. He managed to avoid thinking about it for a bit. He couldn’t let himself do it now. This was not the time for such a realization, Jim thought. He was feeling anxious. The ground was moving below his feet, he had no control. He needed a drink. Or ten. And if that didn’t help, then he would drink another ten.</p><p>“Jim?” Oswald’s voice sounded uncertain. Jim turned around to see him standing a few feet away from him. Their eyes met and Jim felt breathless again. Oswald wasn’t even partly as worked up about what happened as Jim was. In fact, the other man looked tired. His skin was paler than usual and his eyes bloodshot. He barely stood on his own feet. “Gabe brought the car. We can go now.”</p><p>His voice, even though uncertain, didn’t betray any emotion and Jim found solace in that. He nodded and simply followed Oswald to the car.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Who do you love?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jim and Oswald both try to cope with what had transpired at the party. For Jim that means abusing alcohol and throwing himself into his work. He thinks he's doing alright until he's faced with yet another psychopath that takes his (now ex) fake relationship too seriously.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello everyone!<br/>I'm sorry for the short delay. I hope you'll like the chapter! <br/>Although, I'm way more curious about your opinion on the 7th one! I believe something you all waited for is coming veeeerryy soon :D <br/>But enough with the spoilers ^^ </p><p>Have fun reading this chapter and don't forget to leave a comment and let me know what you think!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Edited by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethom947/profile">ethom947</a></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>For the whole drive back home, they sat in total silence. Jim wanted to tell Gabe to take him to his own apartment, but before he could voice his desires, Oswald had already beat him to it. No questions asked. As if he knew exactly what Jim was thinking about. It scared Gordon a little. Made him feel even more uneasy. But he wasn’t the one for analyzing his feelings and working through emotions. That’s why instead of facing what this whole new closeness with Oswald made him feel, Jim decided to focus on a very important notion of Oswald being a murderer, manipulator, and a criminal. Instead of examining why he allowed that kiss to last for such a long time Jim wondered what did Oswald want to gain by doing this. Instead of thinking back to how a string of electricity ran through him when he took Oswald’s hand in his before they entered the house, Jim reminded himself of every single time Cobblepot did something unlawful and wrong. He pictured Oswald back in that alley, in which he first saw him, beating a man with a bat. Jim thought back to the umbrella squeezed through Galavan’s throat and to that one corrupted cop that came to Jim to beg him to never again send mafia to his house, to not hurt his wife. Jim recalled all the people whose blood Cobblepot had on his hands. He probably didn’t know even half of what Oswald was capable of, and still, what he did know, made him resentful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He jumped out of the car in the same second it pulled into the driveway to his apartment. He didn’t even thank the man for the ride back home. Didn’t say goodbye. Just left, shut the door behind himself and walked to his apartment as fast as his injured leg let him. On that night he got more drunk than he did on their first “fake date”. He drank the whole bottle of whiskey by himself and then opened the second one. At some point he puked into the sink and didn’t have enough strength to clean it afterwards, which made him puke again in the morning when he saw it. Still, no amount of alcohol got the picture of Cobblepot kissing him out of his mind. In fact, even though he would never care to admit it, it only made him question himself. Perhaps he was too nice to Oswald this past few weeks. Perhaps he let himself forget for a moment who he was dealing with. The lobster thing coming to his mind as one of the examples of how he’s lowered his guard too much. Jim was always so dedicated to keeping the distance between them, he couldn’t believe that he let that happen. All these touches and all the closeness was on purpose. He was playing a role – that’s what Jim told himself, but what if Oswald interpreted it differently? That would explain why Oswald was so angry about Jim cancelling their dinner. He, unlike Jim, must have thought about it as something more than a job related meeting. And what if Oswald thought that all these gestures and touches were coming from Jim and not from the need to keep the charade? After all, Cobblepot would have never dared to kiss him before this whole feud with the fake relationship. At least Jim believed that to be true. Something must have changed if Cobblepot thought that he could kiss Jim like that. Jim chose not to examine his own reasons for returning the kiss too closely. It was just a short moment of insanity and it wouldn’t happen again. Jim wouldn’t allow it to happen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After puking his guts out again, he decided that he needed more sleep. It seemed that the universe worked against him on this particular day though. Just as he nestled himself back into covers, the phone sitting on the small wooden bedside cabinet started ringing. Jim pulled one of his hands from under the covers and took the phone from the cabinet, silently cursing the person calling him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Raise up, sunshine!” Harvey’s voice sounded way too chipper for Jim’s liking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it, Harv?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our suspect doesn’t want to talk.” Nothing new. “He says he’ll only talk to you, so get your ass over here and help me close this case.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, I’ll be there in 45 minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make it 30.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey hung up, and Jim let his hand drop to the covers. He groaned again, already hating this day. His head was throbbing, and his stomach was killing him. He smelled like hooch. He also looked like a complete disaster. His leg was killing him. And to top it all, he still remembered what it felt like to have Cobblepot’s lips on his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim somehow managed to get himself going. He took a shower that lasted longer than normal since Jim could barely keep his feet grounded. Then he managed to eat half of a cheese sandwich. He drank two cups of water. Put on his leather jacket and went out, trying not to think about anything but the suspect that was waiting for him in the cell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jim got to precinct, however, he couldn’t help but notice that everyone seemed to be giving him strange sidelong glances. There was whispering as well. Jim ignored it and went up the stairs to Harvey, who was sitting at his desk with a newspaper in his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” Jim caught the other man’s attention. Harvey looked up, his eyes big and his face pale, and that’s when Jim saw the picture in the newspaper for the first time. The kiss that he tried to forget so badly was now not only etched in his memory but also printed for the whole city to see. No wonder why people were whispering behind his back. Jim all but ripped the newspaper from Harvey’s hands to look at the article. He fell back into the chair opposite of Harvey, panic settling in his stomach. His worst nightmare was coming true, right before his eyes. The title of the article screamed at him: </span>
  <em>
    <span>James Gordon and Oswald Cobblepot: Partners in every sense of the word</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was followed by the information on their investigation. The article went on to say that not only did they bring the investigation to an end, but also didn’t shy away from showing the people what they really wanted to see: their love. It made Jim feel physically sick. The fact that he was hungover didn’t help either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He threw the newspaper back to Harvey’s desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t.” Jim said pleadingly, even though he knew very well that nothing will stop his friend from commenting on this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve always known you had a shitty taste in women, Jimbo, but this?” Harvey tapped the picture in a newspaper with his index finger, and Gordon grimaced, pressing his cold fingers to his throbbing forehead and wishing for the pain to go away. “This has to be the new low for ya, my friend”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey chuckled darkly after that, and if looks could kill, he would drop dead right there under Jim’s angry gaze. Even though he couldn’t even make himself think of a picture posted in the newspaper lying in front of him, let alone to look at the damned thing, he still couldn’t really say that he felt disgusted. Unfortunately, no amount of alcohol he put in himself afterward helped him forget that little fact. It only managed to give him an even bigger headache. It would be so much easier if he hated the kiss. He should have hated it. Should have vomited right after it happened, even if it would expose them. Now all that was left for him was to lie through his teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was for the case, Harv. You cannot possibly hold that against me” Jim protested weakly after gathering enough energy to fight off Harvey's accusations without turning all red. He had to act collected. Well, as much as it was possible in the state he was in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh huh, sure thing, Jimbo. We would have never caught the guy if it weren’t for you getting some”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> made colors return to Jim’s otherwise pale face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t get some, Harv.” Gordon whispered through the clenched teeth, and his ex-partner sneakered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You couldn’t go through with it after all, huh?” Harvey gave him a knowing look. Once again, Jim wondered if his ex-partner actually saw right through him, and even without him actually saying it, Harvey knew what was going on in Jim’s mind right now. He wasn’t brave enough to ask though. “Now, come on, let’s put an end to your misery.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey got up and patted him on the back before rushing to the interrogation room. Jim got up as well, although he was pretty sure that interrogating the host of the party won’t put an end to his misery. In fact, he wasn’t sure there was anything he could do to get the image of their goddamned kiss out of his mind. He was pretty sure that he would have to live with the knowledge that he kissed Oswald Cobblepot and </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t hate it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. This was actually a huge understatement. However, Jim Gordon was not going to allow himself to dwell on what exactly it did make him feel. Denial was the only way out of this mess since even thinking about how he ‘didn’t hate it’ made him nauseous. Oswald Cobblepot was, after all, everything that Jim Gordon stood against. So instead of facing whatever it was that the kiss with the kingpin stirred in him, Jim opted for cursing himself for agreeing to help with this case in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They finally got the admission of guilt from the man. At first, he didn’t know what Keith was up to in his spare time and when he found out he was already in love with the guy and couldn’t bear the thought of selling him out to the police. So instead, he covered for him, which was actually pretty ironic. Keith killed people and their spouses or partners because they covered for their loved ones when he himself made his loved one do the same. He accused Jim of helping Oswald, exchanging favors, and making evidence disappear, but his partner did the same for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You understand, don’t you? Wouldn’t you do the same for Mr. Cobblepot?!” The man was leaning towards Jim, entirely ignoring Harvey who was sitting next to Gordon. Jim moved his face away from the other man and cleared his throat. He knew that Barnes was watching them from behind the one-way mirror and that knowledge made him feel even more uneasy than the question itself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I wouldn’t. Now, how about you answer our questions and not the other way around, huh?” Jim smiled through gritted teeth. “Have you ever helped Keith Addams with the murders?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I would never…!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Josh Winngham didn’t ask any more personal questions and Jim was glad about this. He didn’t want to examine his relationship with Cobblepot too closely. He has managed to push this matter to the back of his mind so many times before, but this time he just couldn’t stop himself from thinking about it. Not with all that happened in the last few weeks. He was starting to realize that perhaps against his better judgement, he has grown soft on Oswald. He said to Josh that he would never do the same for Oswald when, in fact, he did. He did cover for him. He knew of his crimes, but he chose not to look for any real evidence that could incriminate him. And even though it may be true that Oswald has never murdered anyone in cold blood in front of Jim’s eyes, Jim didn’t have to see to confirm that it did happen. He knew that Oswald killed other candidates for the mayor’s office when Galavan kidnaped his mother. He saw Oswald shoot people when he wanted to ambush Galavan. Jim has also heard some horror stories about Oswald cutting off Bush's hand with a meat chopper and about him killing one of Maroni’s men with a knife. Jim didn’t have to see it to know that Oswald Cobblepot was a murderer. Still, he let the man walk freely, and even though he felt angry every time they had to seek his help, at the same time Jim felt relieved every time he saw the man alive and not dead in some alley. When Barnes, not so long ago, pulled out Cobblepot’s file and told them that they will bring the man down, Jim told himself that he only feared that everyone would find out about his own involvement in so many of Oswald’s doings, but perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps there were other reasons…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jim?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Jim raised his head and was met with Harvey’s piercing eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is something going on? You’re awfully distracted today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim got up from the chair he was spacing out on for the past few minutes. Their suspect was already escorted back to his cell. Jim must have spaced out when Harvey was closing on the interrogation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. Why? No.” Perhaps he shouldn’t repeat himself. It sounded suspicious at best, and from the look that Harvey was giving him, Jim could clearly see that the other man didn’t buy into it. Before Harvey could comment any further though, Jim was already walking past him. “You know, Harv, I should probably go. Barnes wanted to see me after we wrote down the testimony.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure thing, Jimbo. But you know, you can always talk to me, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, Jim was pretty sure that if Harvey knew what, or rather who, Jim was thinking about, he wouldn’t want to hear it. Harvey might have joked about it earlier, but if he knew that Jim returned the kiss, he wouldn’t be that amused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim went out of the interrogation room and headed towards Barne’s office. He frowned when he saw that Barnes wasn’t alone. Oswald was in there too. Perhaps that shouldn’t be so surprising since the man helped them close the case. Still, Jim felt as if Oswald invaded his territory on purpose. Gordon thought that perhaps he could come back after Oswald left. Make sure that they don’t have to spend even one more minute in each other’s presence, but just as he thought about it Barnes spotted him and waved at him to come in. Jim sighed and pulled the doorknob to the office. Oswald turned around when Barnes waved at Jim, and now he was watching Jim come in. Gordon only glanced at the smaller man and then quickly turned his gaze away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, sir. You wanted to see me?” He spoke to Barnes, doing everything in his willpower not to look at Oswald again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Mayor Cobblepot will be giving out a statement here at the precinct. I want you to be there, as well. To shake hands with him and smile for the cameras as we announce that our cooperation with mayor Cobblepot was a successful one and that we caught the responsible parties red-handed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, sir. Is that all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For now, yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim left the office in a hurry, trying not to look at Cobblepot. It didn’t help him escape the inevitable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jim! Jim!” Oswald called after him, leaving the office as well. Harvey was sitting at his desk, which meant that he was in a hearing range of anything that Cobblepot might want to talk about. Not to mention that Barnes was probably still watching them from behind the glass doors. Jim couldn’t have it. He couldn’t talk with Oswald here. Anywhere but here. He started descending the stairs when he spotted Lee on the other side of the precinct. She was talking to a tall, dark haired man. The same man Jim saw her with that one time when he went to find her after leaving Blackgate. Jim turned around quickly. The notion brought him face to face with Cobblepot, and Jim cursed himself. Oswald 's face was at the same height as Jim's, when Jim stepped down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want, Oswald?” Jim tried sounding threatening, but instead, he realized, he sounded scared. He could only hope that nobody noticed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their eyes met, and in the pale blue eyes of the other man, Jim saw fear as well. Fear and something else that Jim couldn’t distinguish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You…” Oswald breathed in through his mouth. He was shaking a little as he usually did when he didn’t like the situation that he was put in. Jim knew that. He’s seen Oswald scared before, but usually in very different circumstances. It was strange to see that, for some reason, Oswald was scared now. Scared of him. Of his reaction. It made Jim feel guilty somehow. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, James. I can handle everything on my own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald looked away from him, biting on his lower lip. The movement brought Jim’s attention down to the other man’s lips, and for a brief moment, Jim felt a strong urge to kiss Oswald. It almost made him step away from the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve heard Barnes. I have to stay. But don’t worry, I’ll behave. Will you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald’s eyes flicked to Jim’s, and Jim, suddenly, felt breathless. For a long moment, longer than Jim would like to admit, they just stared into each other’s eyes. Oswald was at the loss of words, Jim could tell, although he wouldn’t be able to say why. Was he recalling the last time he didn’t behave? Jim was. The kiss played before his eyes for what had to be the millionth time making Gordon shiver. They stood so close to each other that Oswald could easily kiss him without moving an inch. He would just have to lean in. It was that thought that made Jim break the eye contact and glance down to Oswald’s lips again. When he quickly raised his eyes back, Oswald was eyeing Jim’s lips as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jim?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon turned around to Lee, who was standing by the stairs to the mezzanine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Lee.” He said distractedly. She looked even more beautiful than he remembered, but it wasn’t the sight of her that made the hairs on his arms stand up. It was the feeling of Oswald’s eyes burning holes in his neck from behind Jim’s back that caused the goosebumps, but Jim wasn’t going to allow himself to dwell on that. Instead, he stepped away from Oswald, not even turning to the other man to excuse himself. He descended the rest of the stairs and stood in front of Lee, who smiled at him sadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you didn’t work here anymore” She told him and Jim tried not to notice the accusatory tone she’s used on him. As if he broke some unspoken rule by coming here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t. Barnes asked me to help with the case. I’ve been working undercover.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. I saw the newspapers.” Her eyes flickered briefly to Oswald and Jim had to focus really hard on not following her gaze and looking back as well. Was Oswald watching them talk?  An emotion crossed Lee’s face. Regret? She returned her gaze to him and smiled sadly. “I can’t say I’m surprised.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Surprised by what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee shook her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing. I have to go. See you around, Jim.” And with that, she was gone. She didn’t even spare him another glance before leaving the precinct with the man that apparently came to pick her up from work. Jim’s eyes followed her to the door, regret washing over him. He wished he could explain to her all the reasons he had for not finding her right after he left Blackgate. He wished he had the guts to tell her why exactly it was better for her to stay away from him. The fact that he would probably never be able to tell her made him even more undeserving of her, but it didn’t matter anymore. She clearly moved on. And he? He had his own problems now. Actually, one single problem. Jim turned around to look at Oswald. The smaller man still had his eyes fixed on Jim, but he quickly turned around when Jim looked up to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim was just about to turn around and flee the scene when Barnes came out of his office to let them know that they should prepare for the press conference. Before they knew it, the precinct was filled with Gotham reporters. Barnes stood before the cameras and started explaining the whole operation. The reporters were silent when he talked about the party, the ambush, and then the bravery of their mayor who’s decided to trick the killer and therefore risk his own life for Jim. The reporters also let him explain how the killer worked through all these years with the help of his partner. It was only when Barnes gave the microphone to mayor Cobblepot, who started off by stating that the GCPD did a splendid job, but some of the reporters lost their patience.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mayor Cobblepot, how did it feel to work with your life partner on this case?” One of them asked and the other one followed:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mayor Cobblepot, were you scared of Gordon’s life? Is that why you kissed him publicly?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you risk your life for anyone else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How does it feel to know that all of Gotham has seen the picture of you two sharing a private moment like this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you be working cases with your boyfriend in the future?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald looked close to panic, opening his mouth and closing it every time someone asked the question. It lasted only a few seconds, but for Jim, it felt like an eternity. He stood on Oswald’s left, just a little behind the smaller man, but he could clearly see the confusion on Cobblepot’s face. Perhaps he thought that Barnes’s explanation would be enough for them to realize that this whole thing between them was fake, but Barnes wasn’t explicit enough and now Oswald had to tell them the truth. Jim didn’t envy him. Seeing how worked up everyone was about their fake relationship, they wouldn’t take it lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is no relationship!” Oswald raised his voice. He sounded almost hysterical. Whether it was the tone of his voice or the words that he spoke to them, Jim wouldn’t know, but the reporters finally fell silent. “It was all fake, alright?! We had to lure the killer out somehow and seeing as he only went for couples, we had no other choice but to pretend one. I’m terribly sorry that I lied to you and made you believe something that was not true, but it had to be done this way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The moment of silence was interrupted only by one person this time:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How could it be fake if you kissed afterward?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence that followed was deafening. Not even one person dared to speak. Oswald himself took a huge intake of breath and started:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it… it is…” he stuttered and then turned around to look at Jim with pleading eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim moved in Oswald’s direction before he could convince himself otherwise. He stopped right next to the smaller man, their shoulders touching lightly, and leaned in to say to the microphone:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for all your questions. Before we part our ways, I’d like to thank mayor Cobblepot for all that he did for the GCPD. If it wasn’t for his input, we would have never closed this case,” He leaned back and raised his right hand to Oswald. “Thank you for saving my life, as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Their eyes met again and as they did Oswald smiled at him, adoration evident in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Jim, I would never forgive myself if something happened to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The smaller man squeezed his hand without hesitation, and for the first time, Jim didn’t question whether he was telling the truth. Jim knew deep in his heart that Oswald meant every word and that knowledge scared him a little. It also made his heart beat faster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day Jim would see himself looking back into Oswald’s eyes on the sixth page of the Gotham’s Gazette. He would think to himself that if that was the expression he had on his face every time he looked at the smaller man, then it wasn’t surprising that people of Gotham believed in this relationship so quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fortunately for Jim, the next few days proved to be fruitful, in the terms, of his other investigation: The case of Alice Tetch. So Jim didn’t have too much time to think about Cobblepot. Instead, he did everything in his power to save Alice from her crazy brother. In the end, he failed. Alice Tetch died. Jim couldn’t prevent that, and the Mad Hatter blamed him for her death. If Jim knew that this whole thing would end up with him sitting at a long table filled with food and tea with Lee on his right and Oswald on his left, he would have probably thought twice about taking that case when Jervis Tetch first came to him. Since the newspapers questioned whether their relationship was, in fact, a fake one, Jervis thought that bringing Oswald into this couldn’t hurt. Jim would just have to tell him who really loved and then Jervis would shoot that person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, let's review our options, shall we? On the one hand, we have Lee Thompkins. Intelligent. Kind. She thought she could save you from your darkness. Drag you into the light. And what did she get for her efforts, hmm? Pain and sadness.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t listen to him, Lee.” Jim interrupted, although Jervis’s words rang close to home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look in her eyes. She still has love for you, James. And then there’s Oswald Cobblepot.” Jim glanced at Oswald who was eyeing Jervis with a dark, bloodthirsty stare in his eyes as if he was only waiting for Jervis to come closer to him so that he could stab him in his throat. In fact, didn’t that glass of wine stand a little closer to Oswald now than it stood before? There was no cutlery on the table, so breaking that glass was the only way in which Oswald could possibly obtain any weapon. The only question was if, in fact, it came to this, would he be faster than Jervis’ gun? Jim wasn’t surprised by what Jervis said about Lee. He was, however, a little astonished at his interpretation of his and Oswald’s relationship. “He is the darkness she tried to save you from. He brought pain and sadness to some people in this town, but would never let anyone hurt you. He adores you. He’s a criminal, and so are you. Isn’t that fitting, James? So, who will you choose, the darkness or the light? Who has your heart?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next few minutes played differently than Jim wanted it to happen. Maroni’s son didn’t manage to save the day, and after some fuss, they were seated in the same places, Jervis telling him that he’s getting impatient. Jim heard ringing in his ears. His rapid heartbeat made it harder to think clearly. He tried to come up with a new plan. Tried to think of anything he could do to pull everyone out of this mess unscathed, but nothing came to mind. He will have to decide, won’t he? Name someone for Jervis to shoot. He wondered if there were any guarantees he wouldn’t shoot the second person afterward? If Jim were smart, he would know that there was a possibility that Jim somehow outsmarted him. Protected the one he loved. Even though Jim’s feelings weren’t even that important here: He didn’t want </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> to die because of him. So Jim did one thing that he could in this situation: he started taunting the guy. He told him about Alice. About how she hated him. How disgusted she was by him. He said Alice preferred death over him touching her ever again. And Jervis roared. Angry. Hatred was evident in his eyes. He still blamed Jim after all, so Jim told him that he’s the one he wants, that he should let Oswald and Lee go, but that didn’t work either. No reasoning could help him out of this situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You will choose!” The Mad Hatter shouted at him, but Jim stayed silent. He couldn’t. Not because Jim didn’t know the answer. It was obvious: If there was only one person that Jim should save, it was Lee. He made a mess of her life before. He was not going to be responsible for her death. He had to do everything in his power to get her out of this in one piece. But could he really let Jervis shoot Oswald? His heart sank at the very thought of Oswald dying, and he could lie to himself all he wanted about how it was because he didn’t want to be responsible for anyone’s death. Not even Oswald’s. But it was as far from the truth as one could be. Still, James couldn’t, wouldn’t name the reasons for his need to keep Oswald alive. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s the darkness she tried to save you from. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jervis’ words rang in his head as loud as if he shouted them in his ears. No, Jim didn’t believe it to be true. He couldn’t let Jervis get to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No matter what happened between them in the last few weeks, Jim would never accept Oswald for who he was. He would never close his eyes on crimes the other one committed. It was his job to protect the city of Gotham from people like Oswald, and there was nothing, or no one, more important than that. If there was one thing that he could be sure of it was that he would never put anyone above the job. Perhaps that’s why he was so bad at relationships. “I’ll make it easy for you. On the count of three, instead of telling me who you love, tell me who to kill. Or I shoot both of them, which would be such a thrill!” Jervis madly yelled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim wondered if it was a bluff or a double bluff. Would Jervis do the exact opposite of what Jim told him to do, or would he shoot the person that Jim told him to shoot, realizing that Jim would never name the person he wanted to protect?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim glanced at Lee. The woman was staring at Jim, frightened, waiting for him to utter the words. Jervis was watching Jim as well, so when Jim turned his eyes to Oswald, he expected to have his undivided attention as well. Surprisingly though, Oswald focused on Jervis instead. With the corner of his eye, Gordon caught a slow but short movement at the table. It was Oswald moving the glass a few more inches in his direction. Now it was in a perfect position for him to reach it with one smooth motion. If only Jervis was close enough…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One.” Jervis started, and Jim felt his blood run cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is so unimaginative of you, Mr. Tetch.” Oswald spoke all of a sudden, his voice soft and unthreatening. Jervis stopped and perhaps it was the tone Oswald used, perhaps something else entirely, but he didn’t start counting again. Instead, he asked:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unimaginative?! What do you mean by that?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well.” Oswald glanced at the man. He was awfully calm. Calmer than Jim has ever seen him in any situation like this. Definitively calmer than he was a few days ago when he was holding a knife in his hand that he was supposed to use to hurt Jim. It would be unsettling if it wasn’t for the fact that whatever Oswald planned on doing, it would probably put the three of them out of harm's ways. If it worked. “From what I gathered, James here impaled your sister on a spike. I imagine that it must have been hard for you to watch her… die like that, but instead of thinking of something similarly horrifying you choose to shoot us. This is not very imaginative I’m afraid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Jervis suddenly stepped closer to Oswald, bending a little to put a gun to the side of Oswald’s face. “Blowing your brains out of your skull is not spectacular enough for you, mayor Cobblepot? You know, James, perhaps I should shoot both of them after all. Usually, it’s ladies first, but let’s make an exception from that rule.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He loaded the gun and pressed it into Oswald’s skull more firmly. Jim’s heart stopped for a second. Jervis was close enough to Oswald, but it wouldn’t be possible for Oswald to reach for a glass, break it, and put it in Jervis’ neck fast enough. Jim suddenly felt completely sure that the second Oswald reaches for the glass, Jervis will literally blow his brains out. For the first time in many years, Jim felt panic rush through his veins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jervis looked up, a smile appearing on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No? Did you finally make up your mind? Do you want me to shoot Lee instead?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim tried catching Oswald’s eyes, but the other man was stubbornly keeping his head straight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what? I’m too curious about who you’re going to choose. Let’s go back to counting. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Two</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything went completely still.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Three.” Jervis said and almost at the same time Jim burst out:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kill Oswald.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t think about it. He’s heard Jervis say “three” and he knew that if he didn’t speak up then, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>would </span>
  </em>
  <span>shoot Oswald.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then he would shoot Lee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The admission that came with these words didn’t shock Mad Hatter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, finally!  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mad Hatter dropped his gun a little, aiming it aside from Oswald’s face, which made it easier for Jim to breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So that’s your decision. You choose Oswald because you love Lee…” Mad Hatter started moving away from Oswald, probably to point a gun at Lee, but before he could as much as a step away, somebody put the bullet in his own head. Jim shot up from his seat, reaching for his gun, lying on the silver platter on a coffee table on his right. He turned around to shoot at Mad Hatter’s minions, but they were gone. Left their boss, bleeding out on the floor. One second later, Nygma, Victor, and a few of Oswald's employees appeared before them. Victor with a smug look on his face reloaded his gun, told them that he had some business to attend to and followed Jervis’s minions out with his people by his side. Oswald didn’t accept any help from Nygma or from his employee’s. While Jim picked up his phone to call the GCPD, Oswald stood up and started heading to the door without as much as glancing at Jim. Later, when he thought about it, Jim didn’t know what overcame him at this moment, but he quickly recalled the events to the man on the phone with him and asked for an ambulance, and then ended the phone call before the man could ask of him anything else. Jim moved to stop Oswald before the gangster could leave the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oswald! Wait.” Oswald picked up his peace and didn’t stop until Jim reached him and took him by his arm to hold him back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want, Jim?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald sounded angry. Furious even.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright? You’re sure you don’t need to go to hospital or…” Oswald snorted, and Jim stopped mid-sentence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, don’t pretend that you care, James, when just a moment ago, you almost had someone shoot me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim opened his mouth to disagree, but the words died out on his lips. Some irrational fear, stopping him from telling Oswald that he was truly scared when Jervis pointed a gun at him. Admitting it would surely raise some more questions from Oswald, and Jim wasn’t ready to answer any of them. He was still shocked by his own decision. If it wasn’t for Oswald’s men, Jervis would shoot Lee. The woman that Jim loved. It was an impulse, Jim knew that, but he was still terrified by the notion that it wasn’t Lee’s name that left his lips. It should have been. Jim didn’t even want to think about what would happen if Victor didn’t shoot Jervis when he did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim took too long to answer, and before he knew it, Oswald was turning away from him. This time Gordon didn’t try to stop him. Jim watched Oswald heading to the door, followed by Nygma and the others. Jim told himself that it was better if Oswald thought that his decision relied purely on the need to save Lee’s life. Jim had more pressing matters to attend to than arguing with Oswald anyhow. He had Jervis bleeding up on the floor. Even though it was mere seconds after he'd wanted to kill her, Lee was tending to him. Perhaps if he wasn’t unconscious she wouldn’t dare to step closer to him, although she had such a good heart that he wouldn’t put that behind her. Now he was non-threatening anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go, check with Mario” Jim told her, kneeling in front of Jervis. Lee looked up at him. Her eyes big and clouded by fear, but still as understanding as ever. Jervis was right about one thing: Lee was the kindest person he’s ever met. She might even still love him, just as Jervis said as well, but Jim didn’t deserve her kindness or her love. Not anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee nodded and then as soon as she did she was gone. As if on cue Jervis regained consciousness and started mumbling something. Jim listened closely even though he was sure that whatever the other man had to say it was probably not going to do him any good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You made everyone believe… you were the h-hero…but… you always knew… you’re a villain.” With that, he fainted again and Jim sighed. He wasn’t a villain, no, Jim didn’t buy into this notion. But one thing was for sure: he was lost. Got tangled into all of Gotham's inner workings. He wasn’t as good of a cop as he was before he came to work here. His beliefs shifted. He lost himself into this mess. The man he was when he first came here would have never exchanged favors with a person of Cobblepot’s kind. Not to mention to actually let the man kiss him. He’s never been kissed by a man before. He’s never wanted to kiss a man before Oswald either and that thought scared him even more than anything else that he’s done for Penguin in the past. If he could look past Oswald’s criminal activities, past his psychotic, murderous tendencies, and his unstable behavior, even worse than that, if he could be aware of all these and still have these desires, what did it make him into? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oswald? Are you alright?” Nygma seemed sincere and usually, Oswald would appreciate it. He would appreciate how good and thoughtful Nygma was. He was a good friend. Actually, he was the best friend Oswald has ever had. One time he thought this title was reserved for James Gordon only, but then, after Jim let him down so many times, he started to doubt it. The hope returned with the case that they’ve just finished together, but now there was nothing left. Technically, Oswald knew from the moment he’s learned why Jervis kidnapped them, that when it comes down to it, Jim will let Jervis shoot him, not Lee. Never Lee. Still, the moment he heard the words leave Jim’s mouth his heart sunk. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kill Oswald.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jim didn’t have to say that; even if Victor and the rest didn’t come to the rescue, Oswald would have plunged the glass into Jervis’ eye. He was just waiting for the perfect moment. Nobody had to be shot. Jim should know that, after all, he did watch Oswald push the glass a little bit closer to himself. Still, he made his choice. Stated it out loud, and that broke Oswald’s heart. No doubt, Jim chose Lee. Of course, Jim loved her. </span>
</p><p><em><span>How could you ever think that you were just as important to him?</span></em> <em><span>Or that the manner, in which Jim responded to the kiss, meant something? That he felt the same way about you?</span></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stupid.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Nygma put his hand on Oswalds’ knee to stop him from fidgeting and Oswald finally raised his eyes at him. Ever the genius, Edward knew right away what was clouding Oswald’s mind. Cobblepot didn’t even need to tell him what was the reason for his abduction. It seemed that Nygma figured it out himself already. From the beginning to the end. Or at least it seemed like it at first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Oswald… Jim made a choice before we got Jervis, didn’t he? And you thought that he wouldn’t be able to just let Jervis shoot you like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need to hear it, Ed. I was there.” Oswald told him, annoyance evident in his voice. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And you weren’t,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Oswald was going to add, but Ed ignored him. Instead, he kept talking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ed and the others appeared after Jim told Jervis to shoot Oswald and therefore Ed had no real knowledge of what had transpired. Still, Ed sounded dead sure of himself when he recalled the events to Oswald. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That Tetch guy must have been rather dumb. It was obvious that Jim wouldn’t just name the person he loves and wish for good luck. It pains me to admit it, but Jim is too smart for this. He told him to kill Lee, because he knew that Tetch would do the exact opposite of that. Tetch should have known that and shoot the person Jim named instead.” Oswald frowned. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ed thought he knew exactly what happened, but he was wrong and Oswald couldn’t comprehend why on earth would Ed think that Jim would ever tell anyone to hurt Lee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you just say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said that Tetch isn’t a very smart guy. Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. The other part. The one about shooting the person Jim named?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yes. Jim was bluffing if you will. He told him to kill Lee because he knew that Tetch wouldn’t kill the person that Jim named. He knew that he would instead point the gun at you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald’s brain came to a halt. For the longest of moments, he couldn’t comprehend what Ed was saying. What did it mean? Could it be that Jim named him to buy him some time? To prevent Jervis from shooting him? And not because he really believed that if he told Jervis to shoot Oswald, that was what the other man would do? No. It couldn’t be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re wrong, Ed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m not.”  Ed argued childishly and Oswald made a face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, you are! Jim had no idea that Jervis would do the opposite. He couldn’t have…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not wrong, Oswald! Jim had to know. Why else would he… Oh!” Ed’s eyes went big all of a sudden and he stared at Oswald dumb folded. “Oh!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What now, Ed?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He picked you, didn’t he? Wow, I would have never expected that. Did he really tell Jervis to kill you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, he did. But not because of what you said!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time Ed was the one who made a face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, perhaps if you don’t believe me you should ask him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Oswald didn’t ask Jim. It has been eating at him for days. Weeks even. He would pick up his phone, thinking of calling Jim or watch the buildings behind his car window. Oswald was on the verge of asking his driver to take a turn, to go to Jim’s house instead, but he’s never had enough courage to go through with it. Instead, he employed one of his men to follow Jim once in a while, check on him, tell him what Jim was up to. That’s how Oswald knew about Jim’s struggle with Barnes, who at last banned him from coming up to the precinct. No badge, no investigations – he apparently told Jim. One week later, Jim was already reinstated as a detective. He apparently worked through whatever was stopping him from coming back to GCPD and was now back at his old job. Even though Oswald didn’t want to intrude that much, he’s also learned about his new conquest. A reporter. Valerie Vale was her name, and even though Oswald has never seen the girl, he hated her with all his being. If, however, these two weeks of pretending were the closest to a relationship with Jim that he was ever going to get, Oswald could live with it. It was more than he’s ever bargained for anyway. Now he at least knew how Jim’s lips tasted. He had Keith Addams to thank for that; if it wasn’t for the blood loss and the fact that Oswald really feared that Jim would get hurt this time, he would have never worked up the courage. Actually, he didn’t even think about it before latching onto Jim and pressing their lips together. He did it on some odd impulse that has never been there before, and although he was terrified by his own actions in the beginning, now he was thankful for that short moment of insanity on his part. Jim might have never wanted to have anything to do with him, but Jim was going to distance himself from Oswald anyway. That was just the way Jim worked. Whenever he felt like he was being too cozy with him Jim would sneer at him more and shove him against walls with more force than usual just to remind him that they could never be friends. Oswald was used to this already. He expected no less from Jim. Still, when he thought back to how nice it was to just sit with Jim on the bench and eat greasy food with him or to how warm and unbelievably pleasant it felt to have Jim’s hand in his or to have him leaning in, whispering to Oswald’s ear, he felt physical pain. He was not going to experience it ever again. It was pathetic that he ever let himself think that he could have it for real. That Jim could be his friend, perhaps something more. How could it be, when Jim could have everyone he wanted. Why, on earth, would he ever want </span>
  <em>
    <span>him?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Oswald’s mom has always told him how handsome he was, how beautiful and sweet. How everyone who treated him badly were just jealous of him, nothing more, but Oswald knew better than to believe her. So what if Jim didn’t want Jervis to shoot him? It didn’t change anything. It didn’t change the fact that Jim didn’t want to be near him. What happened when they were working on the case didn’t change it, nor did Jervis’ little game of </span>
  <em>
    <span>who do you love. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The best approach was to get himself buried in his work. After all, he had a lot to do as the new mayor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He told himself he was pretty good at pretending that nothing happened, that he was doing rather good, considering his broken heart. He’s never noticed that he grew more irritable, that he was even more unstable than before, or that even Nygma was glancing at him with worry every time they’ve been in one room with each other. Neither did he notice that Ed was disappearing more and more often from the house that they’ve been sharing or that he was coming back smelling of woman’s perfume. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Giving into the darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jim is not doing all in his power to forget about the kiss anymore. He wouldn't be able erase the memory of Oswald's lips on his even if he really wanted to, and he's not sure if he wants to. But dealing with feelings can be tough. Especially when the object of your affections is an ex-gangster and a murderer. It gets even harder for Jim when he gets an unexpected invitation and has to decide what to do with it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! <br/>It's pretty late and I should really go to sleep right now, so I just want to say: ENJOY! &lt;3</p><p>I also wanted to add that I'll probably add the next chapter a little later than usually due to the fact that I have a lot of work this week and I might not be able to finish the chapter until next week - so you'll probably have to wait a little longer for it (up to two weeks I'd say), but I promise it will be worth it! </p><p>As always thank you to ethom947 for editing this chapter! You're the best! It wouldn't be the same without you!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edited by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethom947/profile">ethom947</a></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you do that? I know for a fact that you’re getting laid, and still, you manage to look like shit.” Harvey pointed out one afternoon after they’ve closed one of the cases and sat down to do some paperwork. After Barnes lost his mind due to the Tetch virus, Harvey was promoted Captain, but he still liked to join Jim at their desks outside of the Captain’s office. It seemed that Bullock had a hard time getting used to his new role – even though he was pretty damn good at it – and so Jim didn’t comment on it when his friend insisted on joining him on the cases or sitting with him while Jim did some paperwork.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gee, thanks, Harv. I appreciate it, really.” Jim shot Harvey a pointed look and his friend sneakered in return.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, for real, though, what is going on with you lately?” Bullock’s tone shifted from the one he’s used for friendly banter to the one he opted for when he wanted to discuss something serious. That worried Jim. He actually preferred it when Harvey made jokes, because, even if they made him flustered or annoyed, he could always dismiss them, joke back or tell Harvey to cut it off. When it came to the real talk, getting Harvey off his back wasn’t that easy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you mean.” Playing stupid was always a good tactic in Jim’s book.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, but you do. You were always overworking yourself, that’s nothing new, but lately, it seems that even putting bastards behind bars doesn’t make you happy anymore. You snap at everyone even I’m not sure if it’s safe to approach you sometimes, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that bad…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is, actually, and you’re more distracted than I’ve ever seen you. Not to mention that you drink almost as much as I do and for a guy like you that can’t mean anything good. So what is it? Spill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim rubbed his eyes, trying to focus on finding the right answer to these accusations. Was he more distracted than usual? Probably. He’s been having trouble sleeping the past few weeks. It was starting to get painfully obvious that Valerie didn’t enjoy their little ‘casual sex’ thing anymore; she wanted something more. And Jim felt like the biggest prick in the world for every time they had sex, Jim was having a hard time not to think about someone else. What was even worse was that all these times when he actually managed to focus on her, to not think about Oswald, not picture his </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid </span>
  </em>
  <span>face or his </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid </span>
  </em>
  <span>lips, he couldn’t cum, and every single time that happened, he would give up and just let himself picture Oswald underneath him. Hell, if that didn’t make him feel like the worst scum. He should never let himself get so carried away with these fantasies, but when it happened for the first time, he was too drunk to care about anything else but the need to release himself from this tension that he tried to get rid of since their kiss. He thought that perhaps if he indulged in these fantasies just one time, then he would surely feel better. That the frustrating need to go to Oswald and kiss him again, or to actually have sex with him, would go away if he just let himself have this for a short moment. He thought that perhaps if he allowed himself to think about it, to feel it, he wouldn’t feel so conflicted about it or so disgusted by himself. That perhaps then he would be able to let it go. If he came to terms with the fact that he, at some level, desired Oswald, then he could move on from it, right? Well, that plan blew in his face when he met Valerie. He told himself that surely having sex with this beautiful woman will cure him of his newfound obsession with Oswald’s body, but it only made it worse. Much worse. Now he wasn’t sleeping properly, taunted by the dreams of Oswald. He hated himself every time he had sex. He hated himself even when he touched himself because all he could think of was how Oswald’s slender, pale fingers would feel around his cock. The funny thing though? Even though it was the first time he’s ever felt desire towards someone of the same sex, he didn’t go through any sexual crisis or anything like that. He accepted it as something that just happened. Not that he was ready to go and broadcast the news to the word or to label himself in any way. In fact, labeling himself or telling anyone was filling him with dread. However, the truth was that what bothered him the most was not that Oswald was a man. It bothered him because Oswald was… well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oswald</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He was literally the last man that Jim should feel this way about. It would be so much easier if this newfound attraction towards the opposite sex started with someone else. Like Bullock, for example. Or Harvey Dent. However, Jim wasn’t even sure if he could call it </span>
  <em>
    <span>an attraction towards the opposite sex, </span>
  </em>
  <span>since, apparently, for now, he only felt like this towards Oswald. They say that desperate times call for desperate measures, so Jim, obviously, tried replacing Oswald with other men in his fantasies. It didn’t work though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was set on not acting on these desires. He couldn’t. Wouldn’t. It would destroy him as a person. Jim was sure of it. And it wasn’t as if he could just go have sex with Oswald and not suffer from the consequences after. Not to mention the fact that he didn’t really know anything about the inner workings of having sex with a man, and something told him that neither did Cobblepot. It was much better to indulge in the hot fantasies at home in the safety of his covers when he could imagine himself shoving Oswald against the wall and taking him, no questions asked. There were no nervous fumbling or awkward admissions in his imagination. There were a lot of heady, almost brutal kisses, confident hands traveling down to the most intimate places, licking and sucking and almost pornographic moans from Oswald. He didn’t go as far as to imagine them having actual intercourse. He told himself that he was leaving it out for later, but the truth was that the idea of having Oswald naked and needy was enough to drive him to the edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bullock snapped his fingers in front of Jim’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you have some paperwork to do as well, Captain Bullock?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey looked at him pointedly, but then, finally, backed off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, you know what? You don’t want to tell me? That’s fine. I probably don’t want to know anyway. But if you get yourself into some shit don’t come begging for my help!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey stormed off to his office, but a few seconds later, he came right back to snatch his Danish from the desk. Jim snorted. He wished he could just tell Harvey that he discovered that he’s attracted to the same sex, and that’s what’s bothering him, but Jim knew that he couldn’t hide who the man he was infatuated with really was. To only tell him about the simple revelation that he found himself in that situation was out of the question. Harvey was too smart for that; he would figure it out even before Jim finished talking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Detective James Gordon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim raised his head and was met with the sight of a young man in a suit. He didn’t look suspicious, but Jim straightened up, his whole focus on the man before him. He was a detective for long enough to know that the ones that didn’t look suspicious were, in fact, the ones that were the most dangerous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, that’s me. What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man reached inside his jacket, and Jim watched him closely, his hand on his gun. The man, however, only pulled out a folded paper that was emerald green and looked like some shiny invitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was asked to deliver this to you, personally.” Jim frowned, but after a moment of hesitation, he reached out and took the invitation in his hand. Jim was right: it was an invitation with his name written on it in neat, italic letters. It could only be from one person; Jim knew that even before the young man added: “Mayor Cobblepot would appreciate it greatly if you attended. He’s told me specifically to tell you that… it wouldn’t be the same without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim froze at that last bit. It was not surprising to Jim that Oswald did not come here personally like the last time. Jim wasn’t that pleasant to him the first time, and now, after all, that happened, Oswald might have been afraid of his reaction. Still, it was quite shocking that he decided to invite him at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Jim told the young man, and in return got a simple nod and a simple goodbye. Jim opened the envelope and read the invitation. Apparently, Oswald was going to throw a charity ball at the manor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mayor Cobblepot wanted to hold an auction there and allocate all the money to building a new orphanage. A nice initiative, Jim had to admit. Perhaps it wouldn’t be as wrong of him to attend this time? </span>
  <em>
    <span>No. That is a bad idea. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He already couldn’t stop daydreaming about the man, attending to this ball would only make things worse. But if he just dropped by for an hour or so? Just to say hello to some familiar faces and to look at Oswald from afar. He wouldn’t even have to talk to him. He spent a great deal of the next fifteen minutes staring at the invitation with a deep frown on his face and debating with himself whether it was a good idea to attend. Oswald did say that </span>
  <em>
    <span>it wouldn’t be the same without him. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Was this another kind of an invitation? Was Oswald trying to tell him something by quoting what he'd said to him a few years back? </span>
  <em>
    <span>You simply cannot go, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jim told himself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>it wouldn’t be right. You’re better off keeping the distance. You know that. If Harvey knew what was going on in your head, he would probably tell you that you’re insane for even entertaining the idea of showing up at this ball. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He had to ignore this invitation. Throw it in the trash and forget about it, just like he forgot about it last time. Yes, he will do just that. The invitation belongs in the trash, and he belongs as far away from its addressee as possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim crumpled the paper and threw it in the trash. Then he went back to the paperwork.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two weeks later, he stood in front of the front doors of Cobblepot’s manor with the smoothed invitation in his hands. It still looked creased from it being in the trash. Jim only hoped that no one would examine it too closely. It took him a few minutes to gather the courage to ring the doorbell. He hoped more than anything that Oswald won’t be the one to open the doors. He got lucky. The maid got the doors and his coat and then directed him into the ballroom. It wasn’t as big as some other ones that he’s seen at charity events that Barbara took him to, but it was cozy and stylish. Jim liked the design. Cobblepot was nowhere in sight, and Jim was grateful for that as well. He needed a drink or two to calm his nerves first. He was so stressed about seeing Oswald after all this time that his hands were sweating. It was almost as if he was back in high school, waiting for his crush to show up at the ball. It actually scared him how much thought he put into this. Into what he would wear and what exactly he would say, how he would behave if Oswald wished to talk to him. Of course, now that he was here, he didn’t remember more than half of the carefully structured sentences that he’s prepared for himself, and the ones that he did remember sounded silly and embarrassing to him now. He probably shouldn’t have come, but the damage was already done, so he might as well get himself a drink. He can always drink something and then flee the scene. It would be as if he was never here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim mixed in with the crowd, snatching some colorful drinks from the waiters' tray on his way to the bar. So, perhaps he planned on having two drinks at the same time, sue him. He already drowned the colorful one and started on the whiskey on the rocks when he first spotted Oswald. The smaller man was talking to Bruce Wayne and Alfred Pennyworth when their eyes met over the heads of a few other people. Jim almost choked on his drink. Oswald always looked at him with a certain intensity in his eyes. It usually annoyed Gordon, made him angry for unknown reasons that weren’t so unknown anymore. Whether he liked it or not, there was no way of denying it now: he’s always had a thing for Oswald just as Oswald had a thing for him. Jim has never understood it. This anger. The frustration he’s always felt when Oswald appeared in his near proximity. Certain nervousness that settled itself in his stomach every time he had to talk to the kingpin. And the need to get close, to get into his face, to shove him against something… Only when he started indulging in these strange fantasies about the man was he ready to think about all these things he’s never let himself think about and arrive with the simple, although greatly unnerving, conclusion: these feelings didn’t appear out of nowhere. They were always there. Well, perhaps not always. He’s still pretty sure that when he saw Cobblepot for the first time in that alley beating a man the only thing he felt for the man was disgust. Then, when Bullock told him to shoot the man, he felt many things, but the main one was: pity. This man did a lot of bad things, but he didn’t deserve to die. Not like this. Not from his hand. And that could be it. But then Cobblepot waltzed back into his life, claiming to be his friend, intertwining their lives together against Jim’s will. Perhaps it started in that dark alley, in which Jim pushed Oswald against a wall for the very first time. He was so angry back then, he could almost see red. Now, as he stood there, across the room from the man, who turned his life upside down and made him question everything, he still felt angry. Angry at himself for coming here. For wanting to be in any proximity to Oswald. For the desire to drag Oswald out of this room in his perfectly tailored, striped black suit, a matching vest, and a black and white tie and strip him out of every item of that clothing. For wanting to shove him against something and kiss him, devour him inch by inch, touch, lick, suck, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck.</span>
  </em>
  <span> And he was angry at Oswald as well. Furious even, for sending him that invite. More so for kissing him and bringing up to the surface all the feelings that Jim tried to push back in his mind. And Jim knew, technically, that Oswald wasn’t beautiful in a canonical sense of that word. He had a hooked nose, an evil glint in his eye, and his pale face sometimes had a rather unhealthy glow to it. Jim looked at Oswald excusing himself from Bruce and Alfred and turning around to Jim, heading towards him slowly, carefully almost, there was not a single part of Oswald’s attire that he didn’t completely adore. And that fondness that he’s felt in that moment, he’s realized much later, should have scared him even more than the desire that he’s felt for the bigger part of the previous few weeks. Instead, as Oswald neared the space between them, an exciting thrill of anticipation shot through his body, making him fidget.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Detective Gordon, what a lovely surprise!” Oswald’s voice that usually betrayed eagerness to talk with Jim, sounded stranded. As if the man had to restrain himself. There was something dark and guarded in Oswald’s eyes as well, and for a second Jim, forgot about his own desires and needs. When he was close enough to Jim that nobody could hear him, he all but snarled at him: “What are you doing here, James? This is a closed party. You have to be invited to… How did you even get in?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A disgusting feeling settled in Jim’s stomach, all the excitement gone in one second. He frowned at Oswald, who was looking at him expectantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean? You invited me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I didn’t.” Oswald was so close now that Jim could almost feel his hot breath on his chin. He had dilated pupils, and his otherwise pale face reddened a little from anger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you did” Jim said a little breathlessly, reaching for the pocket inside his suit. “Some young man came to the precinct and gave me this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim took the invitation out and showed it to Oswald, his eyes widening at the sight. He all but ripped the invitation out of Jim’s grip and stared at it for a short moment before giving it back to Jim.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine. You have an invitation, so you can stay…” Oswald trailed off, looking visibly uncomfortable. He was fidgeting nervously in the same way he always was when something unsettled him. Jim felt bad for making him feel that way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oswald…” Jim started, his voice was hushed. Oswald, who up to this point, was doing anything to avoid looking at him, finally snapped his eyes to his. Jim stopped breathing for a second, afraid that he might do something stupid. It took him a moment to calm down his rapid heartbeat, but Oswald seemed to be oblivious to his inner turmoil. “I can leave if you don’t want me here. I only came, because the man who gave me the invitation said…” Jim stopped, suddenly not sure if disclaiming the message, he’s got with the invitation, was a good idea. Apparently, someone went behind Oswald’s back and sent him this without consultation with the mayor. There were not many people that could have known what Oswald said to him that first time, when he came to invite him to the opening of the club and Jim had a pretty good idea, who could. Nygma was at the precinct on that day. But why would he want Jim to be here, that was unclear? Perhaps it was wise to do a little investigation before telling that to Oswald.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? What did he say, Jim?” Cobblepot was watching him intently. He was still standing close to Jim, too close for Jim’s liking. It was hard to focus when he could smell the expensive cologne that Oswald used on that day. He wondered what Oswald would do if Jim just leaned in and kissed him, just as Oswald did the last time they were at the party like this. Jim would never have the guts to pull anything like this. Still, even entertaining that idea gave him a thrill. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wouldn’t be the same without you” Jim said and something shifted on Oswald’s face. He clearly didn’t forget the words that he uttered to him that first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me, James, but I need to…” Oswald went quiet for a second. “I need to go and talk to someone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started turning around from him, and Jim acted on an impulse, his hands shooting out to grab Oswald by the arm and keep him in place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald faced him again, surprised by the sudden contact. Their eyes met, and for a second, Jim thought he saw fear in Oswald’s eyes. Jim’s heart started beating faster, and as the voices of the other guests started to fade into the background Jim stepped closer to the shorter man, still holding him by the arm. He had no idea what to say. Being here was a bad idea, he knew that even before he entered the door. Hell, he’s known that he shouldn’t associate himself with the gangster long, long time ago. But here he was stopping him from leaving as if this tension between them could ever be resolved. As if he could just let himself have it. Give in to these desires.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha… What is it, James?” Oswald’s silent, an uncertain voice woke him up from his stupor. Jim finally looked away from Oswald and scanned the room, realizing that quite a few of the guests were watching them, some of them even whispering to each other conspiratorially, the memory of their fake relationship still fresh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not here. Come on.” Jim said, returning his gaze to Oswald and pulling him with himself towards the other man’s office.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald let Jim drag himself to the small room situated across the ballroom and while Oswald didn’t try to wiggle himself out of his grip, his goons suddenly appeared in Jim’s vision. Only when Oswald told him to stand down did they let them enter the office, uneasiness evident on their faces. When Jim let go of him in order to turn the key in the lock, closing the doors behind them, Oswald took a few steps into the room, putting distance between them. When Jim turned around to face him again, the smaller man was watching him carefully. He didn’t look scared per se, probably because they both knew that Jim would never hurt him purposely, however he didn’t look happy about his current predicament either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on, Jim?” He asked, a treat shimmering under his polite tone of voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim swallowed a big lump in his throat, his hand moving up and loosening his tie. Oswald’s eyes followed the movement, and for a second, Jim saw an entirely different emotion cross the gangster’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did you do it?” The words left Jim’s mouth on their own accord before he had the time to think them through. Oswald’s eyes snapped right back to his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could you perhaps specify…” Oswald started carefully, but Jim didn’t let him finish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oswald.” The man stopped talking, watching as Jim took two steps in his direction, making the distance between them visibly smaller. “Don’t play dumb with me. Why did you kiss me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald took a huge intake of breath, and as he looked away from him, Jim saw Oswald’s cheek color with a tint of red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter, Jim.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It does.” Jim countered his answer, and Oswald finally turned around to face him, anger flashing in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And why is that?! Why do you feel the need to know that, James?! To taunt me with it? To laugh at me?!” Oswald closed the space between them, getting in Jim’s face, the fear gone. “Are you really that bored?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know damn well I would never…” Jim started, his jaw twitching from emotion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I now?! So what are you doing here then?! What possibly could Gotham's favorite hero be looking for in here? It’s not like there could ever…” Oswald’s voice faltered suddenly, and the man looked down to see Jim’s hand gently wrapped around his own. When he glanced up again, he looked as if he was at the loss of words, the only thing that he was able to utter being Jim’s name. “Jim…”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t stop thinking about it,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jim wanted to tell him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t stop thinking about you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He opened his mouth, but the words were stuck in his throat alongside many other admissions that he never made. That he knew he couldn’t make. Oswald breathed out a shaky breath, his lips trembling a little, and Jim found himself leaning in. Cobblepot stood perfectly still, looking Jim in the eyes as Jim’s lips touched his. The last kiss they’d shared was rushed and almost forced. Oswald basically attacked him with his lips, pushing his tongue in between Jim’s before Jim was even able to register what was happening. This time the kiss was much more reserved and shaky as Jim timidly pressed his hand to Oswald’s head and gently deepened the kiss. Who would have thought that out of the two of them, he would be the shy one? Oswald moaned involuntarily when Jim’s kiss became more vigorous and as on cue Jim all but crushed his body into Oswald’s pushing him a little further away from the door and closer to the wooden desk standing in the middle of the room. Jim was never good with words, so instead of telling Oswald all that was on his mind for the last few weeks, he unconsciously made a decision of showing him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he walked Oswald to the wooden desk, one of his hands stayed in Cobblepot’s hair, tugging at them a little and destroying his perfectly arranged fringe while the other started exploring the gangster’s body. What started as a shy brush of lips evolved into a passionate kiss full of yearning that left Jim breathless all too soon. He gasped for air and Oswald used that second to latch himself onto him and press his hot, soft lips to Jim’s neck. It was Jim’s time to groan as he bucked his hips into Oswald’s, feeling the other man’s erection on his tight. Suddenly Oswald’s lips left his skin and Jim almost whined at the loss. Oswald leaned away, breathing heavily as he glanced down between their bodies to Jim’s growing erection. When he looked up again and their eyes met the confusion evident in Oswald’s eyes told him exactly what the other man has been thinking about even before he uttered shakily:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-you want m-me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim’s voice sounded just as breathless as he felt when he finally managed to mumble:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like it, doesn’t it?.” Jim pulled him back by the lapels of his jacket. He could cry at how good it felt to finally be able to kiss the gangster. He wanted more, though. Much more. He got rid of Oswald’s jacket in one quick motion and then loosened the other man’s tie. He needed to get under that perfectly fitted shirt of his. To feel his naked skin under his fingers. As it turned out, Oswald had the same idea. A moment later, Jim’s dress shirt was pulled open, baring his chest. He felt Oswald’s shaky hands touch his torso, and he pressed even closer, the last button of Cobblepot’s shirt finally popping open. Touching Oswald and having the gangster touch him was a truly maddening experience. It cleared his brain out of any other thoughts he ever had, leaving him with only one emotion: need. He needed to touch, to feel, to kiss every single part of Oswald’s body, but at the same time, Jim felt as if he was going to explode any second now from the desire burning inside of him. His right hand found the buckle of Oswald’s belt, the metal cracking a little when he unclipped it. He kept kissing the gangster with wanton, losing himself in his hunger to the point in which nothing else existed for him but Oswald’s body. Jim didn’t even register the moment in which Oswald reached for his belt. Suddenly he found himself with his own hand wrapped around the gangster’s cock, stroking it almost violently as his own cock twitched in Oswald’s hand. He all but ripped his lips away from Oswald and pressed their foreheads together, looking down at their hands wrapped around each other’s cocks. His breath hitched at the sight. He’s never done that to anyone but himself, and from the looks of it, neither did Oswald. His clumsy, nervous movements didn’t subside the burning desire that settled itself in Jim’s loins. In fact, if anything, the fact that they were both doing it for the first time heightened his need for the gangster. He surged forward, bringing their lips together one more time, swiping his tongue inside of Oswald’s mouth and swallowing his moan. Then he took his hand away and brought it to his mouth to lick it. Oswald followed his movements, his pupils dilated. When Jim put his hand back on Oswald’s cock the other man groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jim, I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh. I got you.” Oswald nodded, biting his lip for a second before bringing his hand to his lips to lick it as well. Jim stopped him and instead brought his hand to his own mouth. He kissed the inside of his hand and then started licking into it, his other hand still working on Oswald’s orgasm. The gangster’s breath hitched as well, and when Jim glanced at him again, the look Oswald was giving him almost made him cum right there and then. As the gangster grew impatient with him, he all but ripped his hand away from Jim’s hand and put it back on his cock, his other hand pulling Jim down for another wet, hot kiss. The movement brought their bodies together, and suddenly he could feel Oswald’s erection pressing into him. He could only hope that the groan that escaped his mouth when he suddenly came all over the lower part of his abdomen, staining the scraps of his shirt, was not loud enough to be heard outside of the office. Oswald followed him right after, biting into his shoulder to muffle the sound of his own moan. Jim shuddered at the thought that he will probably leave a bite mark on his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed silent for a moment longer, breathing heavily, resting against each other with their foreheads pressed against their shoulders. Jim breathed in the smell of Oswald’s skin mixed with expensive perfume. His scent was almost painfully pleasant to Jim, making him want to press even closer, to never let go. However, they made a mess of themselves, and they should probably do something about it since there were around seventy people outside of that office. They couldn’t go out there in such a disheveled state. Not without starting a new gossip about the real nature of their relationship. These thoughts made Jim pull away from Oswald at last. Cobblepot, however, didn’t let him move away entirely, keeping his head on Jim’s shoulder and squeezing his sides as if to ask him to stay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “You alright?” Jim asked him, his voice hoarser than usual. That made the mayor look up at him, and when Jim saw his whole attire, he felt his heart stop for a second. He’s seen Oswald in the various states of disarray, but to look at him now, all red cheeks, swollen lips, and dilated pupils, to look at his wrinkled clothing and opened shirt, and know that he was the one that has done this, was an entirely different experience. He wished he could take him upstairs and take him apart piece by piece, make him scream with pleasure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I just…” Oswald suddenly glanced away from him, shame flashing through his eyes. For a second, it seemed that he was going to share some secret with him, but then he leaned away, and his resolve broke. “It was intense. Not to mention, completely inappropriate… I should have never indulged in such behavior! And with so many guests behind the door!” He kept talking and stepping away from Jim, putting distance between them. He reached the desk and pulled one of the drawers open. He searched it frantically and only straightened up after fishing a small box of tissues out of it. “And my suit! It’s ruined! People will surely take notice of that. And I’m a mayor, I can’t have people thinking I’m some kind of pervert, who has sex at the ball! How am I going to give a speech looking like this?! I would rather not know the state of my hair either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kept dabbing frantically at his shirt to get the stains off of himself. Jim couldn’t help himself. He walked to Oswald, who was so focused on the state of his shirt that he jumped a little when Jim spoke softly right next to him:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can get you another suit if you tell me where to find it, you know? You’re at home, Oswald. It’s okay. You can change, and nobody will notice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald looked up at him then, clearly surprised by this proposition.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you too look like you need to change. You cannot possibly go out there and…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care. If I could just use some of these tissues…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yes! Forgive my manners, James! Here.” Oswald handed him the tissues and Jim took them from him, purposely sliding his fingers across Oswald’s as he did so. Cobblepot’s breath hitched and Jim couldn’t help but smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cleaned himself quickly and buttoned up his shirt while feeling the mayor’s eyes on himself. He combed his hair with his fingers and only then glanced at Oswald. Yet again, the man looked as if he wanted to say something, but decided against it. Instead, he sighed, glanced down to his hands, and told him:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The suits are in my wardrobe. It’s in my bedroom. If anyone tries to stop you… Well, tell them that they will face my wrath if they don’t let you in there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was something wrong, and Jim could tell that Oswald was torn when it came to whether to tell him what it is or not. He considered asking him again, if everything was alright but decided against it. Perhaps he will feel better once he’s changed into a clean suit, Jim thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ventured upstairs and found Cobblepot’s bedroom. He felt rather strange: snooping like this. Even though he had permission to do so. It wasn’t what unsettled him the most, though. He found Cobblepot’s behavior the most disturbing. Jim didn’t really know what he expected to happen. It wasn’t as if he had a plan or anything. He just acted on an impulse and finally let himself do what he wanted to. The only problem was that now after he did it, he wasn’t sure what was the next step. Oswald Cobblepot was still, and will always be a criminal mind. A murderer and sociopath that only cared for two people his entire life: his mother and himself. Although for some odd reason, it felt as if, for some time now, Cobblepot’s protection extended to Jim too. He didn’t want to start taking Oswald’s affections for granted, but now he started wondering about it. He had to, given his latest sexual conquest. Well, there was also the fact that Oswald has never answered his question: Why did he kiss him? Was what happened tonight exactly what Oswald wanted? Was this all he wanted? Was this all Jim wanted? Jim snorted when that thought entered his mind. What else could he possibly want? He thought about it at least a thousand times, and he’s always arrived at the same conclusion. It was just an itch he needed to scratch. Nothing more. It couldn’t be anything more. It was bad enough that he let himself have this. It would surely complicate things for him in the future. Now that Cobblepot knew that he had this effect on Jim he could use it against him or… someone else could use it against him. Gordon sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s done is done.” He murmured to himself, taking one of the perfectly tailored suits out of Oswald’s wardrobe. He took a clean shirt with himself as well and descended the stairs. Nobody paid him any attention now that he wasn’t accompanied by Oswald and he was glad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he came into the office again, Oswald was sitting behind his desk, his face hidden in his hands. The mayor looked up at him when Jim closed the door behind himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got your suit. Nobody even batted an eye.” He informed the other man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is very good, James. Thank you for your help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The least I could do since I’m the one responsible for the disheveled state of your wardrobe.” Jim winked at the mayor, earning himself a chuckle from the other man. Jim opened his mouth, wanting to add something, anything to make Oswald smile, but his phone chose this moment to start ringing. Jim fished it out of his pocket and moved away from Oswald to give him some space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gordon.” He said to the phone and had to restrain himself from groaning when he heard Harvey’s voice on the other side of the line.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haul your ass here. We’ve got double murder. I’ll send you directions in the text.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, thanks. I’m on my way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jim turned around to look at Oswald, the man was still standing in his dirty suit, looking at the hem of the one Jim brought him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was work. I’ve got to go.” Jim told him, even though he told himself at the same time that he didn’t owe Oswald any explanation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oswald.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man looked up, and as their eyes finally met, Jim got struck by the realization. No matter all of the thoughts about what was right or wrong, he didn’t want it to be a one time deal. Jim wanted more. He wanted to stay. Wait for the last guest to leave and then take Oswald upstairs to that fancy bedroom of his. He really missed Oswald these past few weeks and not only because of the kiss and the desires that it brought to the surface. But could he possibly have it? Could they make it work somehow? That was unlikely. Highly unlikely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Jim?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hopeful undertone in Oswald’s voice surprised him. He expected many things from the gangster, but this vulnerability was not one of them. Perhaps, though, it was that tone of voice and that little glint in Oswald’s eyes that made him say:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could come back after.” He cleared his throat, suddenly feeling dry. “That is, if you wanted me to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim made himself keep Oswald’s intense gaze and it paid off because after a second or two Oswald’s demeanor changed. One of the cutest (although he would never admit to anyone that he thought that way about it) smiles lightened up Oswald’s face, reaching his eyes as well, and Jim felt himself smiling back even before Oswald answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he left the office he was met with only one pair of eyes, watching him intently from across the ballroom. Jim quickly turned his head away and quickened his pace, pretending not to notice Ed Nygma’s smug smile. He’d rather not think about how easy it was for Ed to manipulate him into coming here or how it wasn’t even the first time that Nygma tricked him. What could Nygma possibly gain from this, Jim wondered. He couldn’t say he was mad though. No, Jim was as far from mad as he could be. In fact, as he took in his sight in the bathroom’s mirror right after he arrived at the precinct, Jim realized that he was terrified.  Terrified of what he’s let himself do. Terrified of how good it felt. But most importantly, terrified of the fact that the intoxicating, blinding passion he felt for Oswald wasn’t going away, and since he was being honest with himself, he didn’t want it to go away. Jim Gordon wanted to give in to his darkness. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The truth in the lie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Oswald waits for Jim to come back and finish what they started in the office.  Will Jim come back though?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, everyone! </p><p>First of all I want to say how sorry I am that you had to wait for so long for this chapter! I started writing it back in August, but then... a lot of bad things happened. My beloved cat died suddenly and then I got really ill. I'm alright now, but August was the most horrible month of this year for me. September came and went by in a rush for me - my time divided between my job and school - and I didn't get to finish the chapter until the last week of September. Once again, I'm sorry for the long wait and I hope that this chapter will be everything you've imagined and more.<br/>I'm sad that the story is coming to an end - it was fun to publish something at last and it was nice to get a positive response to it as well. </p><p>So I want to thank you all for reading my story! Every kudos and every comment you left made me feel very very happy! You're all awesome and I want you to know that I appreciate every single one of you! Publishing this wouldn't be the same without all your comments and kudos! It kept me motivated throughout all this and even though I felt self-conscious about my wriitng at times I had to keep going and finish this for you all.<br/>ONCE AGAIN: A BIG THANK YOU TO YOU ALL! &lt;3 I'm very grateful for every comment left in here, for every good word and every encouragement and for your kind words! You're the best!<br/>Don't forget to let me know what did you think about the chapter!</p><p>Ethom947 there are no words that can express how grateful I am to you for editing my story! I've said that a lot of times now, but you're amazing and I'm forever grateful that you've decided to dedicate your time to editing my story. It really means a lot to me. I'm probably going to keep thanking you in the emails later on as well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Edited by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethom947/profile">ethom947</a></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oswald waited for hours after the last guest had left the manor. Ed looked as far from guilty as one could when he was admitting to going behind his back and sending Jim that invite. In fact, when Oswald went to confront him, Edward informed him of an exact time that he and Jim have spent in that office and added that perhaps Oswald should keep a spare change of clothes in there from now on. Then the smug bastard informed him that he’s going out with Isabella so that him and Jim can have some space (or was it, Isabelle? Oswald had been paying so little attention to what Ed has been saying lately, he wasn’t even sure what the name of his new love interest was. Oswald just kept calling her miss Kringle 2.0 in his head, but he would never call her that in front of Ed.) Oswald found it hard to be mad at Ed. Just like the last time when Ed went behind his back, the outcome of his meddling was surprisingly good. Or at least Oswald thought so for the first two or three hours after everyone left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried staying calm, but it was almost impossible. He kept replaying the events from before in his mind, still not quite believing that it had actually happened. James Gordon wanted him. Desired him so much, in fact, that he couldn’t even wait for the guests to leave before touching him. The thought of that sent a thrill of excitement down Oswald’s body. He had to admit, though, that this newest development in their relationship unsettled him. Jim got a glimpse of his body, but luckily he only saw the parts that were unscathed. What if he’ll find the scars disgusting? What if the very sight of Oswald’s naked body will be enough to make him regret his decision? At the very least, if he isn’t thrown by the sight of his scars, won’t he feel disgusted when he sees Oswald’s leg?  The questions were multiplying in Oswald’s head, making him feel restless. He wanted to tell Jim about the scars back in the office. Ask him why on earth would someone like him ever want him. Oswald has been touched before, had sex before, but these experiences weren’t anything to brag about. It would usually happen in a rush, usually involved a lot of alcohol and nervous fumbling in the dark alleys or dirty bathrooms. It was always with strangers and always in a place that he would never visit unless someone, like Fish, made him. He always felt dirty afterward, but it helped to ease the tension, and Oswald sometimes missed it. He missed it even more so now that he knew how it felt to have Jim’s hands on his body, to kiss his lips, and to pleasure him. His previous experiences were nothing compared to what it felt like with Jim, and Oswald had a pretty good idea why. Jim was special because Oswald loved him. He felt so overwhelmed with the surge of affection and happiness that came after they got each other off, Oswald couldn’t stop himself from clinging to Jim in the neediest, most desperate way he’s ever clung to anyone. The worst part, though, came after Jim asked him if everything was alright. Jim’s eyes and tone of voice were so soft, so tender it was almost unbearable. Was he alright? Yes, he was. More than alright. It was just that his unhelpful brain was screaming at him to finally say it out loud.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you, Jim.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald couldn’t do it, though. If anything, it would scare Jim away. Jim had to know about Oswald’s earlier crush on him. Way back when they’ve just met. When Jim saved his life. It was too evident for Jim to oversee it. The thing was that Jim had no idea how much it all really meant to Oswald. Cobblepot didn’t have many crushes over the years. People rarely caught his attention, and when they did, it usually ended in heartbreak. But Jim, </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh my,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jim was perfect in every way possible, and Oswald just couldn’t help himself. He fell in love with Jim faster than he could ever imagine, ignoring every red flag on the way, and just as fast his dreams were crushed by the very object of his desires. Jim kept pushing him away, hurting him, and, time after time, betraying his trust. Eventually, Oswald realized that there was no hope for them. Sadly, they would never be anything but distant acquaintances. His heart was broken. He felt undesired. Unwanted. Yet again Oswald realized that there was only one person in this world that needed him… but now, it was different. Now it was Jim coming to him, uninvited, and showing Oswald his affections. It meant everything to Oswald. But what did it mean to Jim? Oswald was afraid to ask. Did Jim want to be in a relationship with him? Did he just want to have sex with him? Or perhaps it was a one time deal? Perhaps he would come, get what he wanted and then disappear on him again? He was close to asking Jim about that by the end, but learning the truth could be too painful. He already knew the answer. Deep down in his heart, he knew that Jim would never give in to his desires. Not when the object of his desires was a criminal. Still, when Jim offered to come back later, it was enough for Oswald to forget about his concerns and give into the feelings of anticipation and excitement. Jim saw a glimpse of his naked body and still wanted him! Wanted to come back and finish what they’ve started, whatever that was. And that was more than Oswald could have ever hoped for. So, Oswald waited for him, fidgeting, stressing out, and memorizing the feeling of Jim’s soft lips on his own, of his hot breath ghosting on his skin and beautiful groans of pleasure that escaped his mouth from time to time. He couldn’t help but laugh a little every time he realized that James Gordon was soon to be his. For the first time in his life, Oswald was beyond happy. He couldn’t contain it. He walked around the room, grinning and laughing to himself, and looking out of the windows to check if Jim was coming back to him already. But as the hours passed and the room lit up with morning light his gleefulness faded, and an unwelcome certainty appeared in its place: Jim Gordon was not coming back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unable to go to sleep, Oswald poured himself some wine and sat by the fireplace. As he watched the fire, his vision started to blur, tears threatening to fall down his pale cheeks. He knew he shouldn’t have trusted Jim. He knew…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raised the glass, still half-filled with wine, rage building inside him. He was ready to throw the glass into the fire when his phone started ringing. Oswald carefully sat the glass down on the wooden table on his right and reached out to grab his phone, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, already knowing who the caller was even before he looked at the screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” Jim cracked on the other side of the line right after Oswald hesitantly answered the phone. The kingpin felt so nervous he was afraid he would break the device from squeezing it too hard in his hand. Oswald didn’t answer. Because, really, what was there to say? He could demand to know why Jim was not where he was supposed to be, but that would make him look vulnerable, and that was the last thing he wanted. He couldn’t have that. Not now. Jim sighed on the other side of the line and then added, his voice almost a whisper. “I came back. An hour ago. I... I’ve been sitting on your doorstep since then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That picked Oswald’s attention. He stood up and turned to the door. Jim was there. Right outside. Oswald stepped in the general direction of the door, musing on whether he should walk up there and open it. Let Jim in. But it dawned on him that Jim never rang the bell. Never called or knocked on his door. He was sitting right there, outside the door. Making Oswald wait. Until now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald closed his eyes, pleading with his voice to sound normal. Unperturbed. He was pretty sure he didn’t want to hear the answer to his next question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you come in then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice betrayed him. Instead of his normal tone, he sounded broken, and Jim had to notice. Anyone would notice. Oswald hated himself for how obvious he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence on the other side was almost deafening, and for a short moment, Oswald thought that Jim has already ended the call, but finally, Jim proved him wrong by answering:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know why, Oswald.” Cobblepot closed his eyes again, trying to keep his emotions at bay. Jim was right. Oswald knew why Jim wouldn’t come in. It was for the same reason that the detective kept putting distance between them for all these years. For the same reason that he kept insisting they weren’t friends. For the same reason that he left him in Arkham.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it’s quite obvious, isn’t it? No matter what I do, you’ll never trust me. I’m me after all, right Jim? And it does not matter that I have never lied to you. Not when it counted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oswald, listen to me. It’s not…”  Jim started and his deep, hoarse voice made the hairs on Oswald’s arm raise up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Save it. You don’t have to explain yourself to me, James. I understand everything. Very clearly. Now if you excuse me, I would like to finally go to sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was a lie. He wouldn’t be able to sleep even if he wanted to. Still, he was ready to hang up and start forgetting about what he would never have. Oswald was already taking the phone away from his ear when Jim spoke again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How can you expect me to forget about the things you’ve done? How can you expect me to forget that you’ve done things that I should have arrested you for a long time ago?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t expect you to do anything, James. I didn’t make you touch me. And I definitely didn’t make you promise to come back after. That’s on you, Jim!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve kissed me first, Oswald!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what? You didn’t have to kiss me back. You definitely didn’t have to come to the party and kiss me again either!” This time Oswald did hang up and threw his phone to the nearest wall, finally giving in to the rage building inside him for all that time. He all but stormed towards the front doors, ignoring the pain shooting through his leg when he stomped on it a little too hard. He pushed the door open. Jim shot to his feet and turned to face him instantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oswald.” Jim uttered, but Oswald didn’t let him continue. Jim had said enough already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald found himself inches away from Jim’s face. Detective jerked away from him as if the closeness burned him, and Oswald felt a pang of sadness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get out of my porch, Jim! We are done here!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned around to leave, but before he could move away from Jim again, Gordon caught him by the elbow. A wave of electricity shot through his veins, and this time it was Oswald jerking away from Jim.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? What else do you want to tell me?” He faced Jim again but was only met with a hard, unreadable expression on the detective's face. Jim didn’t say anything. He wanted to, that much was evident, but something was stopping him, and Oswald has had enough of this already. He all but ripped his arm away from Jim’s grip, ignoring the thrill that went through his body when Jim touched him. Oswald walked back towards the door. Jim was silent behind him but didn’t turn around to leave either. Oswald went inside without as much as glancing behind and only when the doors were closed did he let himself shut his eyes, his vision yet again blurred by tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is everything alright, boss?” One of his men appeared on the other side of the hallway, and Oswald had to gather himself up quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of answering the question he just said:                       </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If detective Gordon is still outside in fifteen minutes, get rid of him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I thought James Gordon was off limits, boss?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald startled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” He glanced at the man that was giving him a strange look now and only then he’s realized what he’s meant. The very thought of someone hurting Jim created an uneasy feeling in his gut. “No, idiot. I mean get rid of him as in make him leave, not kill him!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man nodded and went back to the guest room. Oswald took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s okay. I’m going to be okay.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But just as he’s told himself that, the front doors opened again and Oswald realized that he hadn’t locked them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me say that again.” Jim asked and Oswald turned around to him to glare at him properly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I want to hear any…” Oswald went silent. Jim had flowers in his hand this time. They must have been lying somewhere on the stairs because Oswald didn’t see them before. “What is this? Why did you bring these if you had no intention of going in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to tell you before, but you wouldn’t let me. I had every intention of going in. Hell, it was all I could think about at work. Almost got shot, because of it.” Jim snorted and Oswald grimaced at the thought of Jim getting hurt. “The killer turned out to be a florist. We hunted him down and arrested him at his flower shop. The flowers made me think about our first date, so…” Jim raised a corner of his mouth into a cheeky, half smile. The last part of the sentence he said in a conspiratorial whisper. “I kind of stole them for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> stole them for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He won’t need money in Blackgate either way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald scanned Jim’s face for a moment. He was confused by this change in Jim’s demeanor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you come in then?” Oswald asked him again and Jim sighted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time when Jim spoke his voice was small and silent, almost inaudible and what he said was so unlike Jim that at first Oswald wasn’t sure if he heard him right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you just say?” He asked, blinking at him in shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon has never watched him with such an intense look before. Oswald’s heartbeat quickened. Jim didn’t answer him right away. He took a huge breath, closing his eyes for a long moment as if he was gathering his courage again. When he opened them again, he took a few steps in his direction, and this time Oswald didn’t step back too intent on hearing the words again. Jim’s jaw tightened for a moment, tension evident in his every feature.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said I got scared, Oz.” This time his voice sounded more confident, but he shuddered visibly when the word ‘scared’ left his mouth. As if admitting it was the most painful thing he ever has done. What caught Oswald’s attention, though, was a new nickname that Jim has never used before. Jim just kept surprising him on that night. “Look, I know you. I know who you are, how you operate. I know of the things you’ve done. You may play nice now. I didn’t want to see it or admit it for a long time, but I think you may even do a lot of good for the city as the mayor. But what happens when it stops? What happens when you go back to your old ways? I couldn’t stop thinking that no matter what, I cannot become the guy that Keith took me for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was probably more honesty than Oswald has ever heard from Jim, and it stunned him for a bit. What was he supposed to say to that? They both knew that what Jim has just said was true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. You’re a good man, Jim.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I?” Jim countered, stepping closer to Oswald as he spoke. “Because I’ve thought about it a lot and I’ve realized: I’m already that guy. I’ve been that guy since the day we started exchanging favors. I just didn’t want to see it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald snorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should know better than to listen to what a psychopath says about you, Jim. You are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> that guy. Keith got it all wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald blushed under Jim’s intense gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did at least half of the things he accused me of in that basement, Oz. And here I am, about to do one more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald almost choked on the air. He wanted to end it at that. To just latch himself onto Jim and kiss him stupid. He wished he could just forget about their differences and give in, but things were never that easy with James Gordon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you’re right about one thing, I can’t promise that I’ll keep… playing nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, where does it leave us, James?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim thought about it for a moment and then said very carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald squeezed his eyes shut, yet again trying and failing to keep his emotions at bay. This night has been a real rollercoaster, and he was tired of it already. Tired of going through the motions like that. He felt confused and angry. Most of all, he felt torn. On one hand, he had a selfish desire to keep Jim here, even by force, to get what he’s wanted for so long, to throw caution to the wind like they already did once. On the other, he was slowly realizing that even if Jim wanted him, even if deep down Gordon wanted to stay, Jim would never be truly happy with him. Not unless Oswald changed. Not unless he stopped being a criminal. The relationship was out of the question, and Oswald suddenly realized that even if they tried to be together, it would remain a secret. Jim would never be as openly affectionate with him as he was while they were working a case. No, Gordon would want to keep it a secret, too ashamed to admit it to anyone, that was a given. It made Oswald swallow audibly. The silence that fell over them after Jim’s word felt suffocating, but Oswald couldn’t move. Didn’t want to move. Didn’t want to take the flowers out of Jim’s grip only to see him turn around and leave. Knowing full well that if Jim leaves it will be for good this time. He won’t come back. At least not to kiss Oswald. Instead, it would go back to how it was before, Jim pushing Oswald against a wall and demanding information on a case. The distance he had despised would reappear. Jim would never kiss him again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Jim.” Oswald said finally as he raised his eyes to look into Jim’s blue eyes. Jim frowned at him, so Oswald supplied: “I apologize for kissing you. Everything was already so complicated between us and now…” Oswald shook his head. He dropped his gaze to the floor, fearing James’ response. “I did it because working this case with you, being so close, being able to touch you as I’ve never been able to do before… I-I’ve realized that we were never going to be that close again. That you would shut me out the moment we close this case, and it felt that if there was ever the moment for me to do that it was then. Even with all these awful people watching us, it was truly magnificent…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to say more, but his voice croaked. He was practically barring his soul in front of Jim, and it felt even more terrifying then kissing him for the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess it’s for the better that there were people around. Who knows what would have happened if you decided to kiss me in a more private place…” Jim’s voice sounded a little less strained than before, and it made Oswald look up. Gordon raised one side of his lip in a half smile. It didn’t reach his eyes, though. They remained dark and plagued with sorrow, but something else flickered in them as well. Something that Oswald couldn’t quite recognize yet. James watched him for another moment, silence stretching between them yet again. When Jim finally spoke, his words took Oswald by surprise: “I don’t think I could feel any worse than I already feel, do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim took his lower lip in between his teeth and Oswald hated himself a little for how fast his eyes were drawn to this movement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We crossed the line, Oswald. Me walking out of here now won’t change that, do you agree?” Oswald’s eyes flickered back to Jim’s. It took a moment for Jim’s words to fully register in his head. Was Jim suggesting that they throw caution to the wind again? Without thinking of what’s to come later? Oswald’s heart started beating faster in his chest. The real question was: could Oswald do this? Knowing that Jim will probably sneak out before he wakes up. It was somewhat obvious to him that even though Jim was suggesting that they should finish what they started, he wasn’t offering anything else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-yes, I agree” Oswald managed to utter, but when Jim took a step in his direction, he couldn’t help but step back, suddenly frightened. Having Jim for one night was surely better than not having him at all. Still, he was afraid of what that might do to him. He figured he survived so much already. He could probably survive seeing Gordon from time to time after this. And Jim was right: He was coming out of this heartbroken whether they slept with each other or not. It wasn’t like he had any more time to ponder on this though, because as he was getting lost in thought, Jim put the flowers on the closest cupboard and was now getting into his personal space. Oswald wanted to step back again, but before he could do that Jim had already grabbed him by his lapels and pulled him in to claim his lips. Oswald’s inner turmoil didn’t disappear the moment their lips touched, and Oswald, desperate to silence his mind, didn’t waste any more time; he pressed in, making Jim stumble a little. He kissed Gordon desperately as if his life depended on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything that happened in that hallway in the next few minutes was a blur. Suddenly Jim was pushing him into the wall, his hands probing at his clothes just as desperate as before when Jim ambushed him in the office. One of Jim’s hands rested at the back of Oswald’s head, his fingers digging into his hair, messing them up again. The other hand pulled on Oswald’s tie, trying to get it off him. Oswald’s hands were shaking again, touching Jim’s chest, travelling down to his waist and then to his hips. Oswald thought about how perfect Jim’s body is, how well-built and beautiful and he was on the verge of starting to feel insecure of his own imperfections when Jim pressed in closer, bringing their bodies together at last. Oswald’s brain came to a halt as he felt Jim’s erection thrusting into him. Oswald would be ashamed of the sound that left his lips when that happened if it wasn’t for the fact that a very similar sound escaped Jim’s lips just a second later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t we… uhh… take it upstairs?” Jim asked breathlessly after another few minutes. His lips were red and his eyes darkened by desire. Oswald managed to get four upper buttons of his shirt open, which partly relieved Jim’s chest to him. Oswald has already got a glimpse before, but it didn’t make it less arousing to see it now. Oswald found himself ignoring Jim’s question in favor of kissing him again briefly on the lips only to lower his head a second later and bring his mouth to Gordon’s neck. Jim responded by thrusting into him again. He brought his leg in between Oswald’s and pressed down on Oswald’s own growing erection, making Oswald moan in pleasure. Cobblepot’s hands found Gordon’s shirt again and he started undoing the rest of the buttons. It wasn’t until he opened his shirt and pressed his cold hands to Jim’s hot chest that Jim croaked: “I’m serious Oz.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It sounded like a warning, and a thrill went through Oswald’s body at the thought of what exactly Jim was warning him against. He chose not to think about how that new nickname made him feel, a warmth spread inside of him. This warmth had nothing to do with the desire he felt, and he chose not to dwell on just how bad of an idea it was to have casual sex with Jim when he was so in love with the guy that even a stupid nickname made him feel things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you so serious about, James?” Oswald asked teasingly, letting go of Jim’s neck in order to look him in the eyes. The man honest to God growled then and latched onto Oswald’s lips with such a force it would probably knock him off his feet if it wasn’t for the wall supporting him from behind. Jim pulled at his lower lip, biting it and then licking into it to soothe the pain it might have caused. Oswald couldn’t help a moan that escaped his mouth when a second later Jim palmed him through his suit pants. He shivered, suddenly very aware of the sight the two of them made. If anyone walked in on them now…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go upstairs” he whispered, but Jim ignored him and took his sweet revenge with him instead. He started opening the buttons of Oswald’s shirt slowly following his hand with his mouth, kissing and sucking on the skin of his neck, then his collarbones, then lower to his nipples, and lower… “Please, Jim…” Oswald breathed out, his cock straining in his pants against Jim’s left hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it, Oz? You want something?” Oswald looked down to meet Jim’s eyes and had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from whining. Jim was almost kneeling in front of him, his lips right above his abdomen, hunger evident in his eyes, and Oswald has never wanted him more than at that moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what I want, Jim.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say it.” Jim said, closing his eyes and moving a little down, his breath ghosting on Oswald’s skin. Oswald shivered again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you” he admitted, forcing another admission down his throat:</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>No. That he could not say to Jim. Never. Especially not now. Jim could change his mind then. No. It was better to keep it in. To never share that simple truth with anyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want me to do what, Oz?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim was mouthing at his clothed cock now, his hand traveling even lower in between his legs to sneak up and squeeze his ass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was a tricky question. He wanted Jim to do many things all at once. Truthfully, he wanted to do as many things to Jim at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything. Anything. Jim, just… </span>
  <em>
    <span>please... please.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald felt pathetic. Begging him like that. It was hard not to though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim let go of him all too soon, getting up on his feet. Oswald reached for him instantly, bringing him back into his embrace and into another passionate kiss. He was almost expecting Jim to pull away, immediately changing his mind. But nothing like that happened. Instead, Jim let Oswald kiss him again. Went in willingly as if there was nothing else he would rather be doing. And perhaps there wasn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without another word Jim took his loosened tie in his hand and pulled at it, pulling Oswald away from the wall. Gordon walked back, guiding them to the stairs, and did not stop kissing Oswald for a second, as if he were afraid that if he did, Oswald would disappear from him. Perhaps Oswald wasn’t the only one feeling as if he was having a very vivid, amazing dream that he could wake up from any second now? Perhaps Jim was just afraid of Oswald changing his mind as Oswald was of Jim changing his? </span>
  <em>
    <span>No.</span>
  </em>
  <span> That was a dangerous thought to have and Oswald dismissed it almost instantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stumbled on the stairs. Jim almost fell down when the back of his legs hit the first step. Oswald managed to keep him standing, though, and in response, Jim huffed a laugh. Was Jim’s laugh always so beautiful and contagious, or was Oswald losing his mind now? Oswald laughed with him, barely registering the fact that not only did Jim start peeling Oswald’s wardrobe off but also that he discarded both of their ties and shirts on their way to the bedroom, leaving evidence of their doings for anyone to see. Usually, Oswald would care about his clothes lying on the floor for everyone to pick, but Jim was laughing and hugging him from behind now, kissing his shoulders and his neck and whispering sweet nothings into his ear almost as if he didn’t notice the scars on his back. Truth be told Jim had quite a few scars of his own, but Oswald was in such a haze he hardly noticed them as well. And even if he did, it would hardly matter, because, for him, Jim was absolutely perfect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next thing Oswald knew he was pushed on the bed, Jim following right after him, getting on top of him. Jim wasted no time unfastening Oswald’s belt, and soon enough, he was pulling his pants down. Fear suddenly clenched Oswald’s throat, and before he could stop himself, he swatted Jim’s hands away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” Jim looked up at him, a hurt expression on his face. It quickly morphed into concern, though, when he noticed the look on Oswald’s face. “What is it? You’ve changed your mind, Oz?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And sure enough, there was fear in Jim’s voice now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no!” Oswald almost shouted, suddenly terrified that Jim would get the wrong idea. “It’s just… my leg…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it hurt? Did I hurt you? Should I…” Jim started moving to get off of him, and Oswald’s hands shot up to keep him in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, wait! Don’t leave!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To Oswald’s utter surprise, Jim huffed a laugh at that. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Oswald’s again. This time there was nothing heated about the kiss. It was sweet and, dare he say it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>loving</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and Oswald almost cried out because of how good it felt. Nobody has ever kissed him like that. Jim pulled away, his eyes beaming with light. A small smile appeared on his face when he spoke softly:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Relax. I’m not going anywhere. I just want to make sure that you’re alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim’s voice was as sweet and soft as his kiss was, and Oswald felt a rush of affection.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He almost blurted it out again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “I’m alright. I just… My leg doesn’t look so nice; you know? And I… Nobody has seen it… but my doctors.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There it was. Another admission that made him feel ashamed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That long, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald blushed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I didn’t really have many sexual partners before that either…and it, it wasn’t like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made a vague gesture between them, hoping that Jim will understand. He really didn’t want to explain to him what he meant by that. It was embarrassing, to say the least. Jim only nodded. Didn’t ask any follow-up questions. Instead, he made an admission of his own:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never had sex with a man. You’re the first, and I don’t…” he laughed, clearly embarrassed, but didn’t shy away from admitting the truth: “I don’t really know what I’m doing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How did it get so awkward so quickly? Oswald could swear that the whole atmosphere of the room shifted in just a few seconds. Oswald opened his mouth to add that he didn’t have penetrative sex either, but Jim was already talking again:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I want this. I want you. Hell, I’ve been fantasizing about this moment since the first time you’ve kissed me. Believe me, the state of your injured leg won’t change that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim sounded so certain about it, Oswald felt like he could cry again. He didn’t, though. Instead, he raised his head off the pillows and brought their lips together. Oswald didn’t magically stop worrying about what was going to happen or how Jim was going to react to his leg, but he chose not to focus on his insecurities. If Oswald was getting only one night with Jim, he was not going to waste it on feeling ashamed of himself.  He put his hands on Jim’s torso again and let them wander down to the more private parts of his body, exploring and memorizing the feeling of Jim’s skin under his fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Oswald was right about one thing, it was that Jim never planned on staying and sleeping next to him afterward. Leaving like this would have haunted him forever, but from his perspective, it was still better than the alternative. Better than looking into Oswald’s pleading, loving eyes and telling him he had to go. He had it all planned out. He would wait for Oswald to fall asleep and start gathering his clothes. He would sneak out, leaving no evidence of him ever being in there. Well, no evidence except for the flowers that were still lying in the hallway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, when Oswald finally fell asleep, his back pressed into Jim’s chest and his fingers interlaced with Jim’s right above Oswald’s heart – the position that Jim initiated – Jim found himself unable to move. Gordon laid there under Oswald’s black satin sheets, his heart still beating fast, his mind reeling at the memory of what had transpired between them half an hour earlier. Jim didn’t exactly know what came over him when he proposed this to Oswald. Or perhaps he didn’t want to know. Didn’t want to look too closely at how Oswald’s admission made him feel.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve realized that we were never going to be that close again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald has said, and Jim felt the sudden need to reach out for him, to embrace him, press their bodies together, and never let go. To kiss him, again, and again, and again. To make Oswald his if only for one night. To be close again. Because what Oswald said was true at that moment as well: once Jim leaves Cobblepot’s manor, they will never be that close again. Jim wasn’t ready for that back then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, that he has already slept with Oswald, he didn’t feel ready either. So Jim kept stalling. Kept pressing himself into Cobblepot’s smaller body, hiding his face in Oswald’s black hair, inhaling his scent, and remembering his little, sinful moans. The way Oswald kept squeezing his butt as if he wanted to push Jim more in himself. As if having Jim deep inside him wasn’t enough. Until it was. Jim had no idea how he is going to ever forget the face that Oswald made when he finally came… or the way he moaned Jim’s name over and over again as if he couldn’t help himself. And when Jim finally came deep inside him, he felt harder than he ever did. He wasn’t the one for romanticizing sex, but… godamned it, it felt like heaven.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim closed his eyes, breathing in the smell of Oswald’s shampoo and trying to silence his unhelpful brain. The last thing he needed was to get a hard on again. In the end, he couldn’t keep the images out of his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“In the cupboard on your left.” Oswald uttered in between the kisses, his voice breathless and just a little bit coarse. Jim, who finally managed to get Oswald naked just a few minutes before and was at the moment focused on pleasuring Oswald and not biting Oswald’s cock off by accident, looked up from between Cobblepot’s legs. He was intent on asking Oswald what he meant, but when he saw Oswald’s flushed face, his red lips, swollen from kissing and a burning desire in his darkened blue eyes, he was left speechless. Whatever Oswald saw when he himself looked down on Jim made him groan again. “The lube, Jim. I want you to… I need…” He struggled with saying the words out loud and it made Jim’s heart skip a bit. He wasn’t surprised that Oswald was a little bit of a prude. He was more surprised that he had sexual encounters in the past, but that wasn’t something he wanted to think about too much – Oswald said that it wasn’t anything like what was between them and that unsettled Jim, but he was too big of a coward to ask what Oswald meant by that. He didn’t want to hear something that would make this more complicated or that would make him rethink his own actions. Jim knew it was selfish and it was surely one of the things he won’t be proud of in the future, but he couldn’t help it. He was always so bent on following orders, the law, on doing what was expected of him that he rarely did what he really wanted to. That’s why he felt that he deserved to be a little selfish on that night. To take what he wanted to take for so long and not think about consequences.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And so he did.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He took the lube out of the cupboard and popped it open. He poured some on his fingers and lowered his hand to Oswald’s entrance.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’ll tell me if I do something wrong?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oswald nodded and that was all the affirmation that Jim needed. He might have never done that with a guy, but he was the last person to shy away from a challenge.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim had to stop himself from groaning when he realized that he let himself venture into a dangerous territory and was now uncomfortably hard. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Great, now you’re definitely not leaving…</span>
  </em>
  
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As if to make the matters even worse Oswald chose this moment to start fidget. He pressed his ass into Jim’s growing erection and Jim couldn’t help himself: he pressed back. He tightened his grip on Oswald and buried his face in Oswald’s neck, inhaling slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jim?” Oswald whispered suddenly, sounding as if he’s still half asleep, and Jim stiffened. Jim hummed in his skin to confirm that he is listening. “You’re still here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t sound like a question. More like a statement. A very surprising statement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald yawned, and when he spoke again, his voice sounded a little less drowsy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thought you’d leave the second I close my eyes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, Oswald knew what Jim was planning. Just like Jim knew that Oswald didn’t want him to leave. Even though Oswald never said it out loud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought so too.” Jim admitted after a moment of silence, and Oswald turned around in his arms slowly, creating some unwanted distance with the motion. Even though they were pressed together for the better part of the last hour or more, Jim still felt disappointed with the sudden lack of contact. Oswald’s face was still so close to his that he felt Oswald’s breath ghost on his face, and before Jim knew it, he was leaning in to kiss Oswald’s lips again. Before he could do that though, Oswald asked:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s heard that question before. It was hard to answer it back then, and it was even harder to answer it now. First, he didn’t come in when he was supposed to, now he didn’t leave when he was expected to. Jim could imagine how confusing it must have been to Oswald.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jim was buried deep inside Oswald when the smaller man first uttered the words. Up until that point he was just moaning Jim’s name, sometimes adding a “please” after it, and every time he did that, Jim felt as if he was confessing something. Therefore, Jim couldn’t really say that he didn’t suspect that Oswald would say those three dreadful words. Still, it caught him by surprise.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you.” Oswald whispered and before Jim could even process the words, Oswald was kissing him again. It wasn’t the admission that surprised Jim though. It was the sudden rush of pleasure that shot through him when he heard the words.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Say it again.” Jim sounded so coarse, he couldn’t recognize his own voice.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oswald complied.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you, Jim.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was in that moment that Jim came, harder than he ever thought possible, moaning Oswald’s name in return.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve said you loved me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald’s icy blue eyes didn’t stray away from Jim’s, even though the subject brought up by Jim surely made him uncomfortable. The silence stretched for a while after that, and Jim felt himself drowning in these eyes. He wanted to reach out and interlace their fingers together again, but he was sure he already crossed a few more lines than he was supposed to on that night. He didn’t want to add ‘giving Oswald false hope’ to the list of the things he shouldn’t have done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to worry about that, Jim. I knew what I was agreeing to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald’s tone of voice was almost calm, except for the little hitch at the end that betrayed emotions that Oswald didn’t want to show.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not worried about it.” Jim answered without thinking, and this time he earned himself a confused look from Oswald. When Jim spoke again, his voice was barely a whisper: “I don’t want to leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald choked on air then, visibly struggling with containing his emotions. It was as if he knew that when Jim said that he didn’t want to leave, he didn’t only mean this particular day. He didn’t just mean leaving in a literal sense, either. Jim struggled with the idea of walking out of the door and never being so close to Oswald. Never kissing him or touching him. Never laughing with him on the way to the bedroom. He wasn’t worried about Oswald loving him. He was worried about leaving this place and going back to the reality in which Oswald was supposed to be his enemy, not a lover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then don’t leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald's voice sounded small, ashamed even, and Jim felt the sudden need to hug him again. He didn’t let himself do that but didn’t move to leave the bed either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not a good boyfriend” He said instead, and Oswald breathed out a shuddering breath that he was holding in until then. “I drink a lot. I put my work above everything else. I forget about birthdays and anniversaries, and I only bring flowers when I feel bad about something I’ve done.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oswald snorted and Jim couldn’t help but smile a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need flowers, Jim.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but you need affection and I’m not good with that either. I don’t talk about feelings and I hate public displays of affection.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? I haven’t noticed.” Oswald joked suddenly, and this time it was Jim that snorted. Soon enough, Jim became serious again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What I’m saying is, you’ll probably be better off without me. I’ll make your life miserable, Oz.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d prefer being miserable with you than on my own, James. I told you once, and I’ll tell you again: walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not friends.” Jim argued and saw a flicker of hurt in Oswald’s eyes. He realized his mistake then and added: “Friends don’t have sex with each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not true, though. Some friends do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to be that kind of friend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to be whatever you’re willing to be, Jim.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim finally let himself reach out and pull Oswald into his arms. Oswald went willingly, hiding his face in Jim’s chest. Jim didn’t state what he wanted to be on that night, even though one could say that after their conversation, it was pretty obvious. He didn’t say that he loved Oswald back either. But he stayed in Oswald’s bed for almost the whole day, only leaving to join Oswald in a bath and to eat something down in the kitchen. Oswald gave Olga a free day and called the mayor’s office to let them know that he won’t be coming in on that day. All so that he could be alone with Jim and Jim was grateful for that because he was still not ready to leave and face the world outside. They might have been making the biggest mistake of their lives, but Jim convinced himself that as long as they don’t leave these walls, they won’t have to face the consequences. He kind of expected the world to end the moment he’d set foot outside Cobblepot’s manor, but as he found out just a day later, the world didn’t end, and there were no consequences to face. He got back to work and kept catching bad guys, fighting with the criminal underworld of Gotham like he always did, and the only thing that changed was that now he didn’t have to go back to an empty flat afterward. From time to time, someone would take a photo of them – nothing as obvious as the photos taken when they were pretending to be together though – and then someone would question whether it was only a pretend relationship, but nobody followed them around with a camera, ready to take a perfect shot of their kiss. People would speculate, sure, but it was mostly harmless. Mostly, because Jim’s mother didn’t let him off the hook – she made Oswald and him come over for dinner and then told Oswald all of the embarrassing stories of his early life. Jim was pretty sure that Oswald was going to use the information to blackmail him, and he was right – however, as long as his blackmails had nothing to do with crime and a lot to do with having sex in the bathroom in the city hall Jim could live with that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took another year before Harvey figured it out, and he only did so, because the mayor was poisoned with the fear gas. Oswald clutched to Jim for his dear life for a few hours, and Jim let him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re sleeping with this freak, aren’t you?” Harvey asked him later when Oswald finally fell asleep with Jim’s hand in his. They were at the Cobblepot’s manor, and Jim has just told Harvey that he can go because Jim is going to stay the night and help Oswald come to his senses. Perhaps that was what finally tipped Harvey off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Have you lost your mind?” Jim acted offended, pulling the face at the other man. His act was destroyed, however, by Oswald, who took this moment to came to consciousness for long enough to utter:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, not Jim…please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m here. It’s alright.” Jim squeezed his hand in his, leaning in to touch his cheek with another hand. Oswald started crying, clutching to him again and whispering that he loves him over and over again. Harvey, who stood just a few feet away, rolling his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t know about my mind, but you sure as hell lost yours.” Harvey snickered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim shot his best friend a dirty look and then focused on Oswald again. Perhaps Harvey had a point, though. Jim was crazy about Oswald, and no matter how many times he tried to talk himself out of seeing him, he just couldn’t put a stop to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That night after Harvey went home, leaving Jim alone with Oswald, Gotham’s best detective watched Gotham's most dangerous gangster sleep and even though he didn’t come around to saying it out loud yet, Jim knew in his heart that he was truly, madly in love with Oswald Cobblepot. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So here it is: the end.<br/>I don't know how I feel about it yet. This was the first sex scene I have ever written - at least in English - so I hope you liked it and if not, I promise I'll get better at it!<br/>Let me know if you liked the way it ended. Was it surprising to you or did you expect it to end that way? I can't wait to hear from you all!<br/>And I'm also a little bit sad that this is the last chapter, but it is what it is. Things come to an end. Sometimes more abruptly than we wish for them too.<br/>But I have two more stories in mind for our beloved boys. I already started writing one of them, so hopefully you will hear from me soon enough. :) </p><p>For now though, have a happy spooky month and take care! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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